"I Feel Alone as an Entrepreneur"

0:00How can I help you? >> I feel very alone at times >> Okay. >> as an entrepreneur. >> Got it. >> And um I don't yeah, I feel like I have many peers around me. And honestly, I feel like that's why pay to go to a lot of these things is just to you know, be around people who are like that. I'm wondering if that's um you know, a determinant factor. I know he you know, he talked about you all the time, right? >> I know.

0:30Um Entrepreneurship is lonely. You know, um I think the biggest issue is that the faster you grow, the more you outgrow. And so there's some clip that went super viral, but um fundamentally, there's these in-between periods that sometimes last years where you are way more advanced than the people that you know, and so you don't want to hang out with them, but you don't have the cred to hang out with the next group of people.

1:06>> Yeah. >> The thing is is that once you enter that next group of people, if you keep growing, you pass them, too. And so this has just been my experience is that I you sometimes you have to like your goals more than you like your friends. And the things that you're not willing to give up for your goals are the things that you love more than your goals. And the person that will beat you loves their goals more.

1:32Not to say right or wrong, just to say that is what >> it takes. >> And so I think I think a lot of stress for entrepreneurs comes from the judgment on reality. Which is I feel alone, {comma} and that's bad. That's a problem. But one of the fastest ways to solve problems is to decide it's not a problem. >> I feel alone and it makes me stressed.

1:59>> Okay. the comma. >> Great. And so, an interesting perspective on this is that have you been stressed when you weren't alone? >> Yeah, but it the stress seems to resolve quicker when you have somebody you can talk to about it. >> Okay. So, if you couldn't talk to someone and had to resolve the stress, what would you do?

2:25>> Just keep plugging along. >> Sure. So, if your activities remain the same regardless, then is it a problem? >> Guess not. >> And I think there's a difference problem between like a preference and a problem. I'd prefer to have more friends. It doesn't mean that I can't do it with without them. And so, like I won't get into this, but like cognitive distortions happen because people attribute reasons to things they can't prove. So, a lot of the reason that information on the internet is so confusing is people say, "This thing happens because and then they insert a narrative.

2:57I'm I'm stressed because I'm lonely." How do you know that? And who cares? Right? And there's three steps to answer that question. So, one is how do you know that? The second thing is what does that mean? And the third is again, who cares? What's the relevance? And so, it's logic, evidence, utility. Define the words. You feel alone. What does that mean? Right? And if you define that into like we're going to get into linguistics, but it just it it matters because a lot of you think shitty.

3:28Or bad at thinking, which is why you make bad decisions. Oops. Lonely is a bucketed term for a number of behaviors underneath of it. So, lonely isn't a thing. It means that sometimes when I want to call someone on Friday, there's no one I can call. Okay, that's much more specific. Can I solve that? And so, you've bucketed that term up to something that's amorphous and unsolvable.

3:53And so, thinking this way, it will allow you to unpack things that you believe cause you stress into just saying like, "Oh, I think this guy's so great. He's got such a great vibe." Vibe means nothing. Vibe is a great vibe is just a bucketed term for a series of six behaviors that I determine is cool. And so, then I say, "Oh, if I want my team to all have great vibes, then I need my whole team to do these six things. And if everyone does these six things, then my company will have a great vibe."

4:24Right? I break this down because we'll get into business stuff, but like I think this does kind of apply. Um, because I don't think there's a problem, dude. Like, there's just a lot like being poor sucks. Being rich has problems. Growth has a ton of stress. Not growing has a ton of stress. Stress means you're alive, and it's okay.

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