If You Don't Have What You Want, Read This

0:00like Many people do not get what they want. They look up at their lives and they're like, "This is not what I want." And so, if you don't have what you want, it means that the model that you view the world through is incorrect. Or you have the correct model and the incorrect variables or insufficient variables. It's basically all it is. And so, for me the more I have looked purely at inputs and outputs the more I've got my predictions correct. And so, I have been super reinforced for using this style of of of thinking. And so I do it more. And so, it's just And like I I I I read some of my old stuff and I'm like, "Oh, man.

0:38Like I could have said this in half as much words if I Now I cuz it's understanding why. Like at the most basic level it's just understanding why. Um I'll give an example. And I think this is why the vast majority of the world like walks around confused, which is I don't have what I want. That didn't go the way I expected. She took that worse than I thought. So, you're you're constantly surprised by reality. And so, in in a simple sentence like Johnny stole because he's dishonest.

1:04Right? Most people nod their heads and be like, "Yeah, Johnny stole because he's dishonest." But we say, "W- What does dishonest mean?" Dishonest means it's a label, right? That we ascribe to somebody who does a series of different behaviors, one of which is stealing. And so, if we were to restate that sentence with the broken down definition, it would then be, "Johnny stole because he's the type of person who steals," which is circular and makes no sense. Because the real reason that Johnny stole is because he's been reinforced for stealing in the past or he saw someone who got reinforced for stealing and then modeled their behavior. That is why Johnny stole.

1:37And so, because of that basic misunderstanding, most people have these words that they use to explain the reality that they don't actually understand. And as a result, reality fools them more often than it should. >> He was rewarded for it or he was punished for doing the opposite of it. >> And so, um that basic that like And that what I just explained is is the difference between description and explanation. Um which is relatively heady and I think difficult sometimes to grasp, but is at the most basic level like my worldview.

2:05>> This is what happened. This is why it happened. >> Why? Yeah. And so, from that one kind of basic understanding, everything else can kind of pretty much get laddered up. And so, um said differently, if if I wanted to tell a child get good at basketball, right? Um I would not tell him get better at basketball.

2:32Because a 5-year-old would be like, I don't know how to do that. What does that mean? So, I'd be like, okay, well, let's break it down. We've got dribbling, passing, shooting. Okay. Do that. A little bit closer, but they still probably don't know how to. If I say, go get better at dribbling, passing, and shooting. Still can't do anything with that. Until eventually be like, okay, passing. So, I want you to take a step with your left foot towards the the person, and I want you to extend your elbows, and finish with your thumbs down. Um and if the ball goes towards them in the direction that they're running, and they catch it, you've passed successfully.

3:01And then I would repeat that chain of events until eventually they would understand that that chain of behaviors equals passing. And if they do it a lot, and they hit the target many times, they would be good at passing. And we'd repeat that all the way down until they're good at passing, dribbling, shooting, etc. And then eventually we describe them as a good basketball player. But that basic unbundling and rebundling of terms is why I think the vast majority of people are wildly um confused by what's going on around them. Is that someone says, "Why don't you love me?"

3:27And he's like, "What are you talking about?" He's like, "I pay the bills, I take out the trash. Like, you know, like, what what do you want from me?" And she says, uh like, "You don't tell me I'm pretty. You don't hug me. Uh like, you don't listen to me when I when I you don't ever never ask me how my day is going." And it's because for her she defines love in these behaviors, and he defines love in these behaviors, and so then they fight forever, rather than just saying like, "What does that mean?

3:52What does that mean?" Um we had a we had two employees that were arguing about something uh at acquisition and one was like, "Hey, can you um I would be fine if you were just like kind and polite to me." And um I was like, "Okay, what does that mean?" And uh there was obviously a moment of like hesitation there cuz it's like, "Okay, so you want the other person to guess what you think in your mind means good behavior, but you've never articulated it and so you want them to guess and somehow get it right."

4:18And so finally it just was like, "Can you ask more questions rather than making more statements?" And the other person was like, "Yeah, sure." It's like, "Great." But that basic thing now and they're fine now and everything's great. And so but like this is why I I view the world in behavior because I have wanted things, but I didn't know how to get them, which is happens in reality. And so as long as I live in reality, I prefer to define things through reality and then reality tends to behave far more as I predicted it would. If you like this video and you're business owner who wants to break through your current revenue ceiling, I distilled every lesson from scaling 10 businesses past 10 million and three businesses past 100 million into a completely free scaling road map that I've used to go from zero to one, zero to 10, and zero to 100 plus. And so you can click here and you can check it out. Again, absolutely free and since you're business owner, I appreciate you and enjoy.