"What Do I Actually Want?"

0:00This is the why I still believe in decision-making, which is this the least sexy topic of all time, but still the most important. Decision-making is the highest leverage thing that you can do in life, making good decisions. >> And is there I mean, we've talked about frameworks, is there any framework for making a better decision as it relates to what we're talking about here? >> I think it's answering the first part, which is what do I want to have happen? >> What do I want to have happen? Yeah, that's um even that that's I do you know what? I'm probably speaking from experience here cuz when I was what? 20 years old? Was it 20 or 19? I Mark and Or, friend of mine, mentor of mine, gave me this diary and I remember the first page I wrote in it what I wanted. And what I wrote was before the age of 25, Range Rover Sport be my first car, million dollars, six-pack, girlfriend. I'll throw up this picture of it on the screen. And I actually took a photo of it in my Range Rover at 24 years old as like a um but did was that actually what I should have written down?

0:52>> Well, I think it's probably what you wanted. >> Yeah. >> And then you updated your wants because you got it. >> Yeah. >> You found out that you wanted different things. >> Sh- Fortunately, that my time horizon was quite small so I could figure out in three or four years without any without any like damage, but that was not the right thing to write down. But some people orientate their lives to like I need to become a let's say billionaire. >> Mhm. >> And the sacrifice, to use one of your words, along the way is family, friends, mental health, health.

1:19And then you get there and you go, "Gosh, I can't turn back time. I can't rebuild relationships. I can't call my mom now, she doesn't answer or she's gone." So, that's kind of why I always pause on this question of what do you want cuz I think we actually like as you say like terrible at knowing. And I don't know a better way of knowing >> than getting it and deciding whether you want it or not. I think um one of the one of the interesting things with wanting is that we only want what we don't have. >> Mhm.

1:45>> You [clears throat] know, uh people who don't have kids want to have kids. People who have kids remember the times they didn't have kids. People who are single want to get married. People who are married, you know, reminisce about the times they get single, but I see that as inherently human, which is that we only remember good and not bad. And that's a So that's a behavior thing. That's not a So like the reason that when you get drunk and then you're hungover the next day and you say, "I'm never going to drink again." and then 7 days later you drink again is because punishment fades, reward sticks, which is why you go back to the old girlfriend and you still long for them even though when you get back you're like, "Oh my god, I forgot she was crazy.

2:17>> [laughter] >> What was I thinking?" Right? But it's because we only remember the good, which is good to know and I think evolutionary cuz like you remember you got berries there, but you don't remember the sacrifice like all to the same degree. From like pregnancy, horrible experience for many women, not all, but many women it's a horrible experience. >> Mhm. >> But then you get this reward at the end, which is this baby, and that just like fades away. And then you're like, "You know what I want? Another baby."