Warum ich arbeite, obwohl es mich nicht glücklich macht

0:00And I want to push back on something that you said right before Victor Hugo, which is, you know, somebody somebody might ask like, why would you do all this stuff if you're not happy? That assumes that my goal in life is to be happy. What is your goal in life? To do epic [ __ ] Genuinely. To be useful. And so, why place do epic [ __ ] over be happy?

0:24Because when I look back on my life in retrospect, the things that bring me the most joy in the moment are the things that I was willing to sacrifice for for an extended period of time. And those pay memory dividends far greater than the momentary cost that I had in the moment. And so, I think it's a a long-term short-term thing, but a frame that continued to paralyze me for a long period of time was an obsession with happiness. Like it was truly an obsession. It was an obsession of mine in college.

0:54I almost I almost got into positive psychology cuz I thought that was really interesting. That's what I That's what I ate my passion, right? I consumed all that stuff. And I drove myself mad with it. And I actually was more sad and depressed than anything, which is probably why I was trying to find all this positive uh hippie-dippy stuff. And I just cracked one day, and I was like, [ __ ] happiness. Because it felt so out of reach that I was like, just [ __ ] it. I'm just not I'm not even I'm not even going to shoot for it.

1:22I'm just going to do stuff. And that's all I'm going to do. I'm just going to do stuff. And what happened was like, a few years later, dot dot dot a few days later, um I looked up and I was like, huh, I'm not miserable. And so, I actually identified for a very long period of time as I'm not a happy person, comma, and that's okay.

1:48I'm fine with that. I accept that. And there was this huge conflict for such a long period of time where I was like, you're supposed to be happy. Why aren't you happier? Like there's something wrong. There's something wrong with you. Something needs to change. Rather than saying like, maybe the level of happy that you are is fine. Who am I like what happy am I comparing myself to? And also, if whatever your current state is, if you just say like happier, which is really when people like I want to be happy, they're just saying I want to be happier than I am.

2:20Which means that you create this distance between where you are and where you want to be, which is the recipe for being unhappy. It's saying that I want to be happier. So it doesn't matter how happy you are, you want to be happier. And so by relinquishing the desire to be happy, I ended up enjoying a lot more of the stuff that I was doing because I didn't make it a requisite for for my activities. So then it became a pleasant surprise. I was like, oh, this doesn't suck. Huh. How nice.

2:46Giving yourself permission to be unhappy, or at least for me, giving myself permission to be unhappy for an extended period of time in order to get what I wanted, gave me so much relief from Honestly, I don't like using the word nowadays because it has so many associations, but just from like the depression or the funk that I was in for a few years. >> right? >> Yeah, I just I just didn't like my life.

3:11And I had achieved by most measures because I I did I don't have the um I you know, school failed me. I was a whatever. Like I wasn't that. I finished in 3 years and did really well in school and I had a really good job. Um but it was empty for me. And so my like my goal is things we talked about earlier, but my my personal goal is to squeeze every ounce of potential out of whatever I have. And I think that if you feel like you have potential left over, then it will eat you alive until you do something about it.

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