Warum die meisten Menschen nicht gewinnen

0:00You do what you've been rewarded for doing in the past and you avoid things you've been punished for in the past. That I will absolutely agree with to the death. >> But don't you believe even as a child, let's say, you could be shaped by your parents. So, let's just say you're told by your parents, you are worthless, you can never do anything. Like, that's hard to break, I think, as an adult. >> don't disagree with the fact that they're hard to break. I'm just saying you choose to believe it. There's a choice. Could it also be that your brain is wired in such a way that the the neural pathways all point to you being worthless and you're told that you will amount to nothing and it's so ingrained that when you become an adult, it's just like these are patterns that are really difficult to break cuz you've been told your entire life and you believe one thing and shattering all of that takes a lot of work. So, to anyone who has that that paradigm, you're right.

0:50It's not your fault. You're never going to be successful. Now what? Okay, well, maybe I can do something about it. Okay, great. You know what I mean? Like, there's like there's no there's like there's no benefit. You know what I mean? Like, if someone like cuz I I get Q&A's every once in a while and someone's like, "I can't grow my business because of my kids." Right? Like, they take up all my time and it's just impossible for me to do the things. Uh so, what do you tell me?

1:16I say, "You're right. You're never going to be successful and it's not your fault." And then you can just watch the person just writhe. They're just like, "Well, I mean." And I'm like, "What? You're going to fight me on the fact that you're going to be successful? Great. The fighter showed up. So, what are we what are we talking about? Do you want my permission to not be successful or do you want to accept that you're not going to be like what do you want?" They're like, "Well, okay." And I say, "Well, yeah, there's your answer." Like, whatever reason you're giving yourself is the very reason you should do the thing. Like, if your mom was mean as [ __ ] to you your entire life and she told you you were worthless, that's a great reason to be successful.

1:47There's just so many people who have had terrible upbringings who became successful. Some people didn't. >> you tell that person who says, "I have kids, I can't be you know, give the business the time it needs." Why wouldn't you tell that person practically, "Well, you're going to have to structure your day better, you're going to have to sacrifice some time with your kids, you're going to have to wake up a little earlier, it's going to suck in the beginning, you'll get used to it." Why not go in with that approach? >> Cuz I think that person's looking for permission. I think they're looking for an excuse that's reasonable that protects their ego. I don't think so. I think sometimes people just need to be told what to do. Maybe.

2:14>> They they might know what the answer is, but if you tell them what the answer is, they'll do it and they'll believe it because you're the one telling them. Well, this person was saying, "I I'm not going to be suc- like in the premise that I was saying, this person said, "I'm not going to be successful. Here's my excuse. Tell me it's okay that I have this excuse." Then I say, "You're right. It's not your fault. You're never going to win." And then all of a sudden their whole psyche changes cuz they want to contrast, they want to rebel against that. And they're like, "What do you mean?" I mean, I I'm totally agree. And I'm like, "Great. Cool. So, you agree. So, you are going to win. So, what are we talking about?" Right? It's like the it's it's just this back and forth that people always rebel.

2:45Um I just find I just find that that context interesting because a lot of times if you actually just like put a knife in and just twist and say, "Sure, let's take it to the natural end, you'll never win." Okay, how do you feel now? Great. So, then you making all of that fanfare about all these reasons why it's justified that you won't win, how does that serve you? It doesn't. So, you might as well act as though it didn't matter anyways and do the stuff that is required. >> Just to be clear for everybody, like, I share the stuff that worked for me. If if what you're doing is working for you, then I love you, keep crushing it. You know what I mean? Like, I I just share the stuff because people asked, you know, I they're like, "How did you do this by this time or whatever?" And I share my worldviews and they're relatively contrary. Not a lot a lot of people believe as little as I believe about anything, really. Um there are a few things that I absolutely believe through and through and then the everything else, for the most part, I feel is noise. And that has helped me a lot because um it has gotten me out of like, you know, 99% of the Oh, 99%? Who knows?

3:34But like a vast majority of the content that I see on the internet is there's a lot of fluff. There's a lot of just like just yes, a lot of people giving advice that have never done the thing that they're trying to give advice on. Um and so it's like when people talk about like you know, energy and manifesting and you know, psychology and affirmations and all these things, it's like even even this the statement like have you heard be do have? You heard that? It's like a pretty big in like the personal development space. It's like be the certain way so you do the things to get what you want or have the thing, right? And it has to you have to be the person first and then you can to do the things to have the thing, right? That's like a big one. Everyone's like, "Be do have." I think it's complete [ __ ] because being is a function of doing.

4:15If we were to say who is this person, we would describe their identity by the things they do. Like, he is a carpenter. He's into these things. He does He takes these actions. That is what creates his identity, how we describe him. So, if being is a function of doing, then we can just cut being out, right? So, it's just doing and then have. But if the having comes from the doing, then that's an aftereffect. That's an outcome, not the thing that created it.

4:42And so, the doing creates the having. And so, you can cut out the have. And so, it just comes down to doing. And so, we don't need to like obsess about like, am I a good person? Am I a bad person? Am I a villain? Am I an [ __ ] That's to the point that we're making at the very beginning of this. It's like maybe you are an [ __ ] Maybe you are a loser. You can still do the stuff to win and win anyways. If Graham identified as a loser tomorrow, like truly through his being identified as a loser and still made the same video and posted it, it would still crush.

5:11And for me, that's actually given me a lot of shelter in hard times, which is like I don't need to be the best whatever. And I don't even need to be in a great mood. I don't need to identify as like some shining knight hero. But I can still run these ads or make these calls or do these outreach times or make this partnership deal and I will still get the end result. And to me, that is very reassuring because it puts a lot more into my control. Do you think that you would do better in that case, if you're feeling bad, if you were feeling better about yourself, that you would have a better result?

5:47If the exact same activity was done, no. >> Yes. If the same number of If I send the same 100 emails to the same exact people, whether I'm in a bad mood or good mood, the same response rate is going to come back. >> If you feel like you're in a really great mood, don't you feel like you could craft those emails in such a way that's maybe 1% better? >> And I'm talking about if we just stick to what the doing is cuz then at that point it's like, "Shit. Great. We shifted the doing." But like the doing itself can just be done. And I like that a lot because for people who are in hard times, it's like you can you don't have to feel confident to do [ __ ] You can still get the result for it. Like, you don't need to be confident to go up to the girl. You can just go up to the girl and not be confident and still ask her out. Basically, what I'm trying to prevent against is the person who's waiting to be in a good mood to work.

6:29Because that sometimes that good mood never comes. Yeah. But the work still needs doing. Real quick, if you are a business owner and you are not growing as fast as you like, I'd like to give you a free gift. So, my team and I put together the 100 million dollar scaling road map, which is basically 200 hours of us looking over all the portfolio companies we've had and what stages of growth they went through and more importantly, where they got stuck and how they got past it. And so, we broke it in these 10 stages and we made this little kind of quiz thing where if you put in your business information, it'll tell you where you're at and the most important part for you, what to do for each of functions of the business across product, marketing, sales, customer success, recruiting, IT, human resources and finance. And so, no matter what you're struggling with, someone else has already struggled with it and solved it.

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