Alex Hormozi Explains Why You're Not Successful Yet

0:00Whenever I get to a low point where I think, "Why do I even bother?" I just remind myself, "This is where most people stop, and this is why they don't win." And this relates to another one, which is a reminder for the gladiators in the arena who feel beat up and scarred with no hope in sight. Building a business is hard. Hard feels shitty. This is what hard feels like, and this is why most people can't do it, but you can. This is what hard feels like.

0:24>> Mhm. >> Is so [ __ ] nice to lean on. It is so nice to lean on. Take me through that low point stuff. >> actually a story. I'm getting a little goosebumps telling it. So, um I was, way back in my day, um like you, a party party promoter, but I was in a fraternity. So, I was president of the fraternity. >> Massages. >> Yeah. And this was my first semester being president. And so, you have a pledge class, you you get two pledge classes as a president. You get a fall and a spring, and then that's your your tenure, and then another president comes in.

0:53And what we knew, and this would be really interesting for the audience from a human behavior perspective, is that like clockwork, every time we start a new pledge class within 14 days, 10 to 14, it was like clockwork, they would all get together and they'd revolt. And they'd say, "We don't want to do it anymore. This isn't what we signed up for. This is way [ __ ] harder than we thought it was going to be. Like, we thought we were just going to party with you guys. Like, that's what we expected." Which also shows you how long it takes people to adapt or acclimate to a very a significantly more difficult situation, right?

1:21I'll tell you what happens after, and then I'll tell you what happened in between. After we have this kind of talk that we had, and I'll tell you how I how I explained it when I was president, um all of a sudden, it all vanishes. Because their expectations of reality have come been completely reset. We break reality. Like, in the first 10 to 14 days, it's so painful for them because it's such a a contrast from what they were just doing. >> Not the fun stuff. >> [laughter] >> And what's not fun? >> Oh my god. I mean, they can't drink, can't talk to girls. The only people they could talk to are brothers or each other, and we're mean to them. So, they could really only talk to each other.

1:54And the whole point here is that we're trying to get them close together cuz it's a bunch of dudes who don't know each other from different parts of the campus, right? And then we have to get them in 8 to 12 weeks to leave as one unit of people who know everything about one another, that trust one another, that know everything about the other people in the house. So, it's like how do you do that? Well, there's only X amount of communication you can have every day. So, let's cut out anybody who's not us. Okay? And then if we really want them to be close together, we'll also reinforce that we're mean. But, part of what they had to do is they had to learn everything about everyone else in the house. And so, every pledge has to do something that would impress a brother. And then they get a signature from the brother being like, "I approve of you." And you have to get every single brother's signature by the time you're done. Right? And so, that's where each of those side quests become as insane as you might imagine, right? And there's lots of, you know, there was lots of hazing back in the day, which is not fun, and you know, a lot of sleepless nights and things like that.

2:41And you go from like partying with girls, feeling like you're top of the world, all these brothers feeding you drinks, being like being like, "You're awesome, dude." to then like the next day. And this is literally how it happens. This is how like the breaking reality happens. We do this huge party to like launch the new class. And the next morning they all wake up. They're all like They all sleep at the house cuz that's one of the the requirements. And they're all hung over, got their ties like vomit in the corner, whatever. And we're like, "Great. Clean it up." And then like, "What?" Because up to this point they haven't cleaned after a party. Cuz all they did is go go to party, see the girls, and then leave.

3:13But then all of a sudden they're like mopping vomit in the corner, and they're hungover, and they feel terrible. And they're like, "What the [ __ ] This is what I signed up for, right?" So, anyways, 2 weeks of this, they get together, and they wanted me to meet them, and this always happens cuz they want to meet on their their turf. And I'm like, "All right, guys, what's up?" And so, it's just me, all right? And my vice president and like 25 guys. So, there's like a you know, there's like a size comparison of like just animalistically, there's way more of them than there is of me.

3:40And so, I just asked them a couple questions. I was like, "Who here before pledging started was like, 'I want to be a part of this house.'" The guys were like, you know, "Me." Okay. Like, "Okay, got it." "Who here thought it was going to be easy? And they're like, >> [snorts] >> Who here thought it would be hard? They raised their hands. I'm like, guys, this is what hard feels like. And all of a sudden there's just like this big exhale in the room and they're like, expectations get reset. This is normal.

4:13You wanted this thing, you expected it to be hard. Reality now matches conditions. So, our expectations now match conditions. This is what hard feels like. And then all of a sudden it's like they got permission to feel shitty. And by getting permission to feel shitty, they stop feeling as shitty cuz they're like, this is just my new world. And so, then you know, you're like, listen, you give eight weeks, you're going to get three and a half years. Other people going to do are going to drive you around late at night. Other people going to clean after you. Like, it's a good investment, right? And that it was a good deal. Like, you give one semester and you get the rest of them to just do whatever you want. Um but that concept, like that quote and both of those came from that experience of having someone tell me, this is what hard feels like.

4:53>> This is why most people stop and this is why they don't win. It's also another beautiful bit of motivation and given that I spent a little bit of time with Goggins and Cam Haines, two guys, I was telling you about this before, you said, must be nice as we walked in. So, Cameron Haines, bow hunter extraordinaire, lives in Oregon and he has behind the power rack in his garage where he lifts, he has, must be nice, written. And I was like, why why why have you got that put up on there?

5:21And he was like, it's because everyone says, must be nice to be you, Cam. Must be nice to be sponsored by Hoyt and all of these like top level bow things and go on Rogan. He was There was a video that went super viral of Goggins losing his [ __ ] after Jon Jones won last weekend. And the guy that he's hugging is Cam. So, it's like it must be nice for you to be backstage at UFC. Must be nice for this. And I've seen what that guy does and that guy picks up a rock that weighs about 80 lb and it's got the word poser written on the front of it cuz people call him a poser, and he carries it up a hill that is maybe like 1,000 ft of elevation, mile and a half high with no fanfare at the end, no finish line, doesn't post it on social media unless the team's there filming it with someone else, and then carries it back down, puts it in the boot of his Raptor, drives away. And he just does that because he needs to remind himself that he's doing the stuff that is hard. And this is where most people stop, and this is why they don't win. Combined with this is what hard feels like justifies things being hard. Now, I do worry, and I find this in myself sometimes as well, that you can be so good at dealing with suffering that you can actually push yourself a little bit too far. And you go, "I'm starting to bear more burden than I can basically take on." And the art of not burning out is something that I think a lot of people, if you if this resonates with you, the art of not burning out is something that you really really need to be able to feel. And like realizing what happens when you just start to glance off the bottom side of it and go, "Okay, like I'm just going to ease off the gas a little. I need to take this afternoon to go sauna and and get some sunshine and chill out and get some food, and then I can put my foot back on maybe a little bit tomorrow and we'll temper it." Um but it just it it justifies the fact that I use this stat all the time. 90% of podcasts don't make it past episode three. And of the 90% of the 10% that do, 90% don't make it past episode 20.

7:10So, by making 21 podcasts, you're in the top percentile of all podcasts ever in history. That's what hard feels like. And that's not even hard, it's just consistent. [ __ ] me. It's less than half a year. Insane. >> I hear stats like that, and I just think, man, it is so easy to win. Like that I mean that like when I hear that, that's exactly what I think. I'm just like, man, for everyone who's like struggling to win, it's like you like most of the pain that people experience is purely in their own minds.

7:41And so, to your point, I think there's an interesting one between like burnout versus hard. And so, like for me, burnout is when my I would define it as my output per unit of time decreases. So, I can see that. That's measurable, right? Now, like I can say like number of pages that I edit or the quality of the content that I create. Like my output per time like the team knows when I like when I'm like 6 hours, 7 hours into recording something. They're like I literally start like slumping. You're like I physically I just start like slumping and I like my my cadence isn't I'm just not as sharp, right?

8:13There's that versus emotional burnout, which I think people mislabel as burnout when really it's just like they don't know how to reframe reality. And so, what it really is is they got a comment on a post that bugged them. And like again, it's like pulling it from the shadows. It's like no, this stuff doesn't work. It's like hold on. What's the one voice that actually is coming through? What is the real thing?

8:38Well, there is this comment. Okay, great. It's embarrassing to even have to say that. But when you say it, then you admit it and all of a sudden you put it in the light and the shame kind of starts to evaporate because then you can name it and be like is this comment better than my bigger than my future? Is this comment bigger than me? And one of the things that I um that has helped me was saying like what's true about this? >> Are you familiar with Byron Katie? Do you know her? >> I've heard her name. >> Yeah, the work. She does the work. And um the the one of the first questions that she asks you is uh is it true? How do you know that it can be true?

9:10>> Yeah. >> And so, it's like the same thing. Bring it from the shadows, right? Into the light. Okay, you have this sense. There's no [ __ ] It's like a [ __ ] smell. >> Yeah. >> I Maybe something's a bit Maybe something's Maybe I might be like a piece of [ __ ] Maybe I'm not competent. Maybe I'm not whatever. You go, "Okay, that's >> And the next one is like what if we confront it and say like what if they're right? Now what? Cuz a lot of I think a lot of effort gets put into trying to deny deny reality, right? Like there's this clip that I shared from Tom Bilyeu and he was talking about how he gets made fun of for his ears being big, right?

9:42And I think it's a really good clip cuz his point that he was making cuz it's such a visual easy example for people to understand. He's like, is that it's true. I do have big ears. And? And so that's that's like the if they're like, you have no right to be making content. Are they right? Okay. And? >> Yeah. >> I'm still going to do it anyways. Because the thing is like I one of the things that I had earlier on in my career was like I didn't think I was a really good person. Like I was like, I'm not a good person. Like some people are like, yeah, I just had that, right? And I had a history, you know, whatever.

10:18And one of the things that gave me a lot of respite or relief from that kind of thought process was like, {comma} that's okay. Because I can still do the things that create success and not deserve it and still get it. And that actually felt very powerful for me. Because it was like, I don't have to deserve the success. I can still just do the stuff that gets it. It's like you don't have to you don't have to deserve the girl, but you can still do the things that get her. And do you deserve her when you have her? I don't know.

10:45Who knows? I hate the word deserve to begin with, right? >> Yes. [laughter] >> But like that concept because also I I could segue into like gratitude around like if you think you deserve it then you don't you don't enjoy it, but that has been super powerful for me which is like, what if they're right? And? Because a lot of people just trying to they spend so much effort trying to fight the fact that the comments might be right. This might have been a [ __ ] terrible thumbnail. You know what? This might have been a boring video. This this post might have been regurgitated content. This post might have been inspired too closely by someone else's post, right?

11:19What if they're right? And? >> Yeah. >> Does it make me a piece of [ __ ] What if it does? And? >> You end up getting down to base which is pretty much nothing. All that there is is actions. All that there is is what you're going to do in response to this. You know what another brilliant add addition to this that you kind of mentioned, which is the fact that this is what hard feels like. Most people get to this stage and they decide to stop.

11:44And now the bar is set so low. Goggins said this in the episode with me and it gave me chills when he said it. He was like, "It's so easy to be successful nowadays because people are weak." >> Yeah. >> Everybody's weak. Dana White says it as well. I tell my kids it is so easy. If you are even a like weekend savage, you will run these kids over. And for every single person, it's giving me chills again. For every single person that likes to castigate the very padded victimhood mentality of the modern world. Okay, cool. Like you can you can rail against people that say that the world is against them even though it's not and etc. etc.

12:25How does that inform the way that you should operate in the world? >> Right. >> Well, okay. What you're saying is everybody else is fallible, weak, fragile in some way or another. >> Yeah. >> How does that inform the way that you act? The way that you should act is holy [ __ ] if I have even a modicum of resilience, >> Right. >> this makes the market environment for me so much easier. Whether I want to get the girl, buy the house, become successful in whatever domain I choose to, the bar is set so low.

12:55>> Yeah. This uh if we're going if we're going tweets, this segues into one of my favorite ones, which is uh you stay in poverty until you learn the first lesson of poverty, which is two words, my fault. And so, when I was younger, I was really angry at my parents, like many people are, right? Justified or not, doesn't really matter. I was very angry and I blamed them for the woes of my life.

13:21And I realized at when I was 19 that these people that I hated, I was giving all the power over the fact that I wasn't the person I wanted to be. And I was like, well, it's their fault. And the idea that I had actually given these people that I hated power over my success was ultimately something that made me feel sick to my stomach and was what allowed me to point the finger of blame inwards and say my fault. And then at least take ownership over the fact that like and like sure, maybe your dad didn't hug you enough or maybe your mom wasn't present or whatever it is, right? It's like and and like I said this the other day and it'll probably piss off a lot of your audience, so you know, we can put our soft earphones on. Um, like if you were if you if you suffered from racial inequality, if you suffered from gender inequality, if you suffered from being born in Bangladesh, if you were raised uh not raised sexually abused your entire life, you would be completely justified in the fact that you are not achieving the things that other people who didn't have those disadvantages of achieved. And I say this as a white guy who was born in America to a doctor father.

14:30I understand that. But to the same degree, you have the opportunity that Chris nor I have, which is that you can be an inspiration to people who just who went through the same thing and succeeded comma despite those circumstances because I can promise that there is somebody who has had it worse and has done it better. And I think that that one single point of proof and like there's a global point of proof that you can look for for sure, but like you can be that very local point of proof in your community or subcommunity. And I think um as soon as we shed that, that's like I just I'm a big fan of uh power follows the blame finger.

15:04So like wherever you point the blame finger is where the power follows. And so it's like if you point it if you point it to the government, government has the power. If you point it at your your spouse and say like it's their fault that I'm I'm not in shape, it's their fault, they never let me do anything, it's like, well, you're giving them all the power. >> Mhm. >> And so it's like until you're like it's my fault, it's also becomes my responsibility. What is? What not your fault? It doesn't matter. And?

15:30Like I can't run marathons because I >> [clears throat] >> lost my leg at birth. And? Either you can just never try or you put the metal thing on and you do it anyways. If you like this video and you're a business owner who wants to break through your current revenue ceiling, I distilled every lesson from scaling 10 businesses past 15 million and three businesses past 100 million into a completely free scaling road map that I've used to go from zero to one, zero to 10, and zero to 100 plus. And so you can click here and you can check it out.

16:06Again, absolutely free. And since you're a business owner, I appreciate you and enjoy.