Die zwei inneren Stimmen, die dich vom Handeln abhalten

0:00I think that most people are actually very okay with sucking. I think they're very not okay with being judged for sucking. And so I think that at the at the onset, we have to redefine success as trying and not as succeeding uh or at least getting whatever desired outcome there is because failure and success are are salt and pepper. They're married. They're one one leads to the next. And so the idea is we want to get as many failures out of the way as fast as possible. And so it's like we want to pay down that failure debt as again as soon as we can. And so the the very tactical thing that I would advise is think about there's we think I don't I don't want people to think that I'm a failure. It's actually not people.

0:39There's like two people that you hear their voice in your head. And so when you actually get really clear on who whose voice is that because I'll tell I'll tell you a real world example. So for me >> when I this is sounds ridiculous but just but just to show you hopefully how ridiculous whatever you think sounds I'll share one of mine. [laughter] So, when I was uh thinking about selling my company, the the offer was for for 46.2 million. And I I was afraid that it wasn't enough to impress the people that I wanted to impress. And so, and I had to figure that out. I was like, I don't know. I mean, is it worth it? Maybe I should hold on to it longer and grow more. And I want, you know, back and forth. And when I thought more more about it, I was like, actually, there's only one person whose opinion I'm concerned about. And then when I named it, when I was like, "Oh, it's Tom.

1:25Tom's the per and like I'm not even that close with Tom, but Tom, my envisionment of Tom judging my my my my exit as not good enough for their approval." I was like, "Wait, I'm letting Tom have this much influence over my life. That's absurd." And so, one of the big um reframes that I have in my head is that if you don't know why you believe what you believe, it's not your belief, it's someone else's. And so if you can't explain like why am I not doing this? If you can't actually explain it, it's because there's someone else's voice that is influencing you that you're not aware of. And so I try and Yeah. Ex the naming is the key part because as soon as you see that, you're like Tom.

2:00[laughter] You're like screw Tom. You're like I want to It's like is is Tom's approval worth more than the dream that you want to pursue. And as soon as you get that, you're like, well, hell no. And then you move forward. And I can tell you just from from the other side of this, and I want to I want to be really clear. I understand how scary it is. It took me 6 months to quit my job. And I I talked to my friend every single day saying, "This is the day. This is the day. This is the day." And when I did finally quit my job, I drove across the country. And I only called people from home when I was already halfway across. I didn't tell anyone I was leaving because I was so afraid of what they would say. So I say this as somebody who absolutely gets it. But I just want to tell you from the other side of it, it's, you know, this is a Leila quote, not me, but you know, fear is a mile wide and an inch deep. And so it looks like this vast ocean of of like I'm going to drown. But as soon as you take the first step, you're like, "Oh, this is a puddle."

2:50>> And there's a quote from Jo Willick that I love that's recent. It's been top of mind for me, which is besides death, all failure is psychological. >> It's just when you the longer you think about it, the more you're like, wait, >> all failure is just me drawing an arbitrary line in the sand that I say anything that does not meet the standard will force me to be upset. [laughter] >> That's it. Yeah. >> Well, if I don't die, then I can keep going. And if I don't die, then it means I can stand it.

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