Das Geheimnis, wirklich authentisch zu sein

0:00And so a lot of people feel like imposters because what they think, what they say, and what they do are completely different. Um, but from an operational perspective, because that's how I like to define a lot of words, which is what do I have to do to be that, right? What do I have to do to be authentic? And you can describe someone as authentic by saying, how would you behave if there was no possibility of punishment? And so if you could not be punished at all, that behavior is who you are authentically. And so in my opinion, our degrees of freedom are predicated on how much to what extent we act as though we could not be punished.

0:38And so if what we want to do and what we do have no possibility of punishment, that is what we are when we are our true selves. Jimmy Car talks about um nobody throws a Coke can out of the window with kids in the back, right? >> That means you're a [ __ ] monster. Yeah. >> It's what you do when there's no one around. your uh old one about authenticity. People are attracted to authenticity, but it's hard to define for me. Here's my best attempt.

1:05>> True alignment of what you think, what you say, and what you do. The hardest part is realizing that our thoughts are [ __ ] and that we have to fix them instead of faking the next two. And it's exactly that. And I think that I actually think ground zero of that is living out your [ __ ] thoughts and then slowly trying. Like I think it's it's it's it's I think the hardest jump is actually doing and saying what you think. When someone's like, "Hey, what do you think about this?" And you're like, "I wasn't paying attention at all." It's like, "Oh, wow. Okay." And so then you basically become because I think if personal truth of not lying to if you start by not lying to yourself and then you start saying those things, then you start not lying to other people. And I think if you can decrease the the friction between what you really think and what you say, it starts to create some virtuous cycle outside of you that starts to orient your behavior so that you actually start doing what you really think.

1:59>> And I have integrity, but in the tr truest sense is one of my personal kind of goals. Um, but it's it's jarring to people when you're just honest and like really honest like, "Hey, what do you do? Do you want to go to this uh to to Sarah's birthday party? No. And they're like, uh, what do you mean? You busy? Like, no, I'm not busy, but I don't want to go. People have a hard time just saying no to things. And I would encourage you if you're listening to this, like try saying no to try actually telling the truth when you don't want to do something because we say we have so many social nicities that we say, "Oh, I'm really busy or it's a really bad time right now or whatever."

2:41Um, I had somebody the other day. I was with a friend and he like I didn't notice that I did this. So sometimes it's nice to have somebody from the outside. And so somebody came up to me. We were looking at a real estate property and someone knew I was going to be there. And so that guy showed up unannounced or whatever. And he was like, "Hey man, can we do a podcast?" And I was like, "Um, I'm just in town going to hang out with Ila for the next few days, like not really trying to do that." And he asked again and he was like, "Hey, um, he was like 20 minutes.

3:09let's you like we can just we can just rock one out. And I was like, well, let me show you my calendar. And I pulled up my calendar and it was all empty. And I said, see, it's there's nothing on there. And I was like, and I I just want to keep it that way. And I didn't think anything of it, but apparently he left. And then my friend just start just starts crying, laughing, just thinking how hilarious. He's like, I can't believe you said that. You that was so boss blah blah. And I was like, what is he talking about? He's like, "You just showed him your calendar that you had nothing and you were still like, you're still not going to get any of my time." And I didn't perceive any of this extra narrative that he added to it. But I think just being able to say no to stuff when people ask you for it because people ask you for stuff all the time.

3:51It's these little these little nibs, these little tiny things. Hey, can you do this or hey, can we show up to this thing or hey, you're supposed to or hey, your aunt did that one thing for you, so therefore you owe her. Um, and saying like I don't subject myself to those rules. And I had a a New Year's resolution, which I do believe in making resolutions, like why not? Um if you stick with them. And so one of uh my more recent ones was um there are no such thing as social obligations, only consequences.

4:21So you have no social obligations. You have social consequences, but you don't have social obligations. And so you have to go. I don't have to go. If I don't go, they what will happen as a result? it decreases the likelihood they will invite me again which is great because then I won't have to say no again. So this actually saves me time in the future. And so a lot of people don't play out the like what happens if it's like oh more of the thing that I would prefer which is not getting invited to these stupid weddings or not getting invited to these you know christrists or whatever they're called you know bris whatever I don't bris whatever the thing is you you probably know what the word I'm trying to say what you're talking

4:57>> yeah well kids getting circumcised or uh I think >> you go watch it >> like a viewing thing. Yeah. >> Is it? >> Yeah. I think risk whatever it doesn't matter. >> All right. Point being, if you say no and are honest about why you said no, people will be jarred. But then you get this muscle when we're talking about that muscle of being authentic, which is just saying what you really think. And I think that when you do that, you unlock a certain level of confidence in yourself. You're like, "Oh, I didn't die. Oh, actually, what I would prefer to have happened happened as a result of that. Oh, you know what?

5:32It's Friday night and I am going to get a good night's sleep because I do have a clear day tomorrow and I'm going to work my face off and I didn't have to go to Sarah's thing. And to me that's like over time I think I just do more and more and more of that and it feels better and better and better. Real quick, if you're a business owner and you are not growing as fast as you'd like, I'd like to give you a free gift. So my team and I put together the $100 million scaling roadmap, which is basically 200 hours of us looking over all the portfolio companies we've had and what stages of growth they went through and more importantly where they got stuck and how they got past it. And so we broke it into these 10 stages and we made this little kind of quiz thing where if you put in your business information, it'll tell you where you're at and the most important part for you, what to do for each of the functions of the business across product, marketing, sales, customer success, recruiting, IT, human resources, and finance. And so no matter what you're struggling with, someone else has already struggled with it and solved it. And so I'd like to give you this thing absolutely free. You can go to acquisition.com/roadmap, plug in your business information, and if you want us to actually help you deconrain the business and you're trying to scale, we'd love to help you out on the thank you page. You can just book a call with my team and we will look at the business, see if we can help, and if we can, we'll invite you out to Vegas and we'll do this in person live.