A lot of people make these labels about themselves and they’ll be counter to what they’re actua

0:00The first things we say in the relationships are the things that we believe about ourselves. I'm type A, I'm organized, I'm on time, or I'm kind of messy, I'm not that clean, I uh tend to be late. What's crazy to me is that a lot of people make these labels, these assertions about who they are, and they will be counter to what they're actually trying to do. It's like saying, "Oh, I'm a lazy ass." Why would you ever say that about yourself? [music] Like, why? You're basically training them, "Treat me like a lazy ass. Expect me to behave in a way that a lazy ass would." And then when they start subtly speaking to you in that way, it reinforces the behavior that you have, which is ultimately not what you wanted to begin with.