Wie man Dankbarkeit wirklich entwickelt

0:00This is a really good one for gratitude is I'll consider the grandfather frame which is basically you zoom all the way to the to the future. You're 85 years old. So you're an old man, right? You've been you know you're in pain. Everything hurts. You don't have the energy you used to. You're slashing over and you're you know you counting down your days and then you imagine yourself waking up in whatever age body you have right now and you turn to your you know your right or your left and you see your wife and you're like man she's so young. I couldn't can't believe she's so young right now. You look out the window and you're like, "Oh man, this is before they developed this whole area and we had all these highrises." And then you like you get out of bed and you're like, "Oh man, like I'm not in pain, you know?" And you wake up and you're like, you know, I don't feel like foggy. I feel like my memory is sharp. I I'm like I'm acute. I know what I'm going to do. And you're like, "Wow, this is amazing." And the thing is is like nothing good has even happened yet because life just gets so much harder as you get older. You can imagine how like gratitude comes from imagining a terrible thing and then removing that thing that was terrible.

1:01That is gratitude. Like how do you operationalize gratitude? Imagine something terrible and then remember that that terrible thing has not occurred. That's gratitude. People are like, "Oh man, I'm so grateful for my health." How do you get grateful for your health? Imagine that you have cancer and you're about to die and then realize that you don't have cancer. And then you're like, "Wow, I'm grateful that I don't have cancer." But you have to put that thing in there. You have to imagine that terrible thing. You have to go all the way there. I'll tell you something that happened recently. Leila had a a doctor's appointment for something and I was was corresponding with our EAS and I said, you know, how's everything going? And my EA responded, she has cancer. And I was like, okay, got it. This is reality now. Okay.

1:42Like, and then I and obviously I'm texting back like, you know, what kind what's going on? Like, do I need to be there? You know, what's up? And then she was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I meant the person who was the front desk. The reason they messed something up was because she had cancer, not Ila. And I was like, got it. And so what ended up happening um was that Ila ended up having, you know, something that she was dealing with and they figured out what it was.

2:09So it wasn't good news, but what had framed that bad news was that she was potentially on her deathbed. For me, I was just incredibly grateful that she didn't have cancer. And so it just gave me this really wonderful reframe by accident of like it could be worse. You're not dead. The fact that you're alive is living proof that you can endure it. And the day that something kills you, you won't have to anymore.

2:34Your life every day exists as evidence that you can handle everything that has come your way. And I think that if you've ever had any need for evidence, let that be the greatest evidence of all. A while back there was a guy who had like broke up with his girlfriend. His grandfather died and like I think somebody else in his family had two deaths in a breakup and he's like how do I keep going? And I was like you already are keeping going like you don't need any answer from me. Every day you are living proof from the fact that you have endured.