Beurteile dich nach Taten, nicht nach Gedanken

0:00Judge yourself by your actions, not by your thoughts. I became significantly less disappointed in myself when I started judging myself only on the actions I took, not the thoughts I had. So patience is a virtue that I feel like I haven't had and it's been something that I've spoken over myself for many years. I was like, I'm an impatient person. I want things fast, etc. But when I realized that I should use the same lens that I judge other people on when I judge myself, which is someone might say, "I'm a really honest guy." But if I have no evidence that you're an honest person, or when I put you in a situation where you could be honest and you're not, I would say, "No, you're not." Now, that person probably thinks of themselves as honest or to the same degree, I'm a really loyal guy, but as soon as I put a a 10 in front of you and you've got your your girl at home, you jump. You're not that loyal. You just haven't had the opportunity to show that you're loyal. And so for me, my thoughts about what I thought I was were actually really negative. But when I tried to think, okay, well, I can be patient if I act patient even if I don't feel patient. And then that allowed me to start giving myself a stack of undeniable proof that I am who I wanted to be. And I don't believe in binary traits, meaning like he's patient or he's impatient or he's loyal or he's disloyal. It's the question is how loyal are you? How honest are you? how patient are you? And by switching the character traits that I wanted to have into progressions or continuums allowed me to make progress on them simply by giving myself more proof or one more penny on the scale that says I'm a little bit more patient than I was. I'm a little bit more patient. I'm a little bit more patient to the point where I have so many pennies on the scale that I can say I think I am pretty patient. Even though every time I put a penny on the scale, I don't want to put a penny on the scale.

1:40I want to get the thing to happen today. I want it to happen yesterday because why is it taking so long? It didn't take that long for this person. and I feel like I feel like I work harder than them and I feel like I'm better than them. Why am I not doing that? But I put the penny on the scale. >> Well, ultimately, what is patience? Is patience feeling patient or is patient doing the thing that is patience? So Sam Harris in his first conversation with Jock Willink about 10 years ago, they talk about how courage is an unfable emotion. And it's such a good frame.

2:07You're going to love this. So >> he said, "If you do the thing in spite of being fearful of doing the thing, that is courage. And if you don't do the thing, even though you felt like doing the thing, that is cowardice. And I think that motivation and patience are exactly the same. If you're patient despite not feeling patient, that is patience. >> Yes. >> That is how it works. And that was that realization that you just said was the reason for that quote because it was me realizing that I can actually have these traits even if I don't feel like I live those traits. And so that's why pro at least for me when people are like whatever the trait is like he's so humble he's so whatever like you probably will never feel like you have the trait but you can still have the trait based on evidence rather than emotion and I think that frame of evidence has been I mean if I had a a northstar of personal development for myself it's been just give myself proof and I mean in so many ways like the reason that I I didn't I mean I'm going to go on a tangent But again, I'll bring it back. I didn't talk about how to run gyms until I had six gyms because I didn't feel like I was qualified enough to talk about it. And I only started talking about gyms when so many people were like, "Dude, how do you run your gyms? How do you run your gyms?" And if I rewind, even before that, I didn't feel qualified to talk about fitness, but I had had a six-pack for a decade, you know what I mean? And I had multiple state records, but I still didn't feel qualified to talk about fitness until everyone was like, "Dude, how do you how do you do this? How do you strength train? How do you how do you eat this way?" Whatever it is, right? And so if you if you can give yourself evidence, the world around you like fame, like your evidence will change how people treat you. Yeah.

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