Warum sich schlechte Gewohnheiten immer wiederholen

0:00You kind of have this philosophy of people like to do things that they're good at, right? And that kind of comes from building volume over time. Yeah. >> Do you is it your belief that most people know what they're good at? >> No. Well, I'll say this. You do what you have been rewarded for doing in the past. And that is kind of like my northstar of everything. And that's just that's basically the behaviorist of the world, which is people do what they've been rewarded for doing in the past. So quote bad people just behave that way because they've been rewarded for behaving in a quote bad way in the past and so they do it and if they've been punished for doing that and punished doesn't mean from an outside source it's just something happened that they didn't want to have happen an aversive stimulus and so they would stop doing that right and the difficulty is attribution around the skill so it's basically where's the causal relationship coming from and typically people will look at what happened before something like what's the trigger and that people use that word but the trigger is um is false.

0:59It's really the trigger is just the circumstance that gets created that repeats a behavior you've done in the past that you've been rewarded for. And so, um, I gave this example when I was talking to Graham, but I'll I'll bring it up because I think it's it's useful is like Leila and I would get into some sort of spat about something, whatever. And I uh I realized that uh she would she if sorry, I wouldn't get into a spat, but like if she was crying about something, it didn't have to be related to me, but she'd just be crying for whatever reason. Um, I realized that um I I tended to get angry when she would cry. And she was like, "Why do you get angry at me when I'm crying?" And I would get angry and then she would stop crying because then she would get defensive but the crying would stop. And so she inadvertently rewarded me for getting angry at her in the condition of her crying. So the trigger for me getting angry is her crying. Is it or is it the fact that when I have gotten angry in the past, she stopped?

1:54And so like, okay, well, why did you get angry the first time? because that would be the key question. And so what ends up happening is that if you encounter an obstacle that you don't know how to overcome, you do basically something called an extinction burst, which is a series of different behaviors um to try and elicit the desired result. And so the easiest way of think about this is like a 4-year-old kid who's at a candy, you know, the candy aisle right before they check out and they say, "I want a candy." And so the first thing they'll do is say, "Mom, I want a candy." And then the mom says, "No." And then the child changes behavior and says, "Uh, please, pretty please," blah blah blah blah blah. They beg. That doesn't work.

2:29So then they shout and scream. And so all they're doing is basically flipping through the cards of behavior. They don't do this consciously, but they're just flipping through the cards of behavior until one of them gets them what they want. And so then when a parent has a child, for example, that has tantrums repeatedly, it means that at some point earlier on, they had a tantrum and then they got what they wanted. And so what you did is you rewarded tantrum having rather than rewarding non- tantrum having. Right.

2:54And so um when I think about this with regards to um what was the original question so I can find my way back. >> Do most people know what they're good at? >> Yeah. [laughter] And so the thing is is that we have been rewarded for doing things in the past. And so when people were like why are you the way that you are? I would just say like I have been rewarded in the past for for behaving this way. And so I just continue to seek out those those rewards. And so these behaviors have have worked for me. And the thing is is that these skills generalize across domains. So um like working hard for example, it's like if you do something where you have an extended period of time where you have effort before you have a reward and it works out well, then I'm more likely to repeat that behavior in another condition. And so do people like are people like people are excellent at Netflix and chilling.

3:38People are excellent at delaying tasks. People are excellent at avoiding confrontation. Why? Because they've been rewarded for doing so. And the problem with it is that there's multiple different types of reward that happen over different timelines. And if this sounds complex, it's like that's why it's a whole field of study. But basically, you have latency is the biggest the biggest confounder for a causal relationship on a behavior. Meaning Facebook can addict you because there's a little light that turns red, but it's immediate. So they would have they they will better addict people to Facebook by giving that dot immediately than saying I'll give you a dollar in 30 days.

4:19Now the people who have been rewarded in the past for for waiting over a period of time of working would do better with the the delayed reward, but most people don't have that kind of reward cycle. They've never done anything for a long period of time. And so I think the the lattered up question is like how do you get people to just try that first time where they're just willing to push out when something when they get rewarded for the work they're putting in. And the answer is I don't know. I think at some point people have is call it chance call it call it you know they they read some article and they decide to actually try something for an extended period of time. Um but I guess I would reject the original premise of the question which is I think many people are good at many things. They're just not good at the things they want to be good at. H

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