Warum Schmerz stärker motiviert als Leidenschaft

0:00is that they have pain, like oodles of pain. And I remember when I was starting out, I was looking for passion. I was looking for purpose. I was like, I just want to find something that I'm motivated by. But it's the it's the cat and the cheese. It's like we're looking for cheese, but we have all these cat behind us and all we have to do is look and remember that they're behind us and chasing us. And so if you have the cat and you're staying in your current situation, you're being used by the cat, right? you're being used by the business owner who, you know, it doesn't treat you well and is, you know, and you're in this job that you don't really want to be in, right?

0:32Or you're being used by the situation or the context of the relationship that you're in with the girl that you're like not that into, right? Versus saying like, "This is terrible." And because of this terribleness, I now have something that I can run away from. And then you and then and then like rather than not looking at the knife or trying to take painkillers to not feel the pain. It's like completely sobering up taking the knife and twisting it in your own heart and being like I'm going to [ __ ] do something about this. And I think that that's that's what the heroes like if we're heroes in our own story. It's not avoiding pain. It's choosing from the very beginning the alchemy which is like you have these terrible situations. It's like and you have the opportunity to turn turn them into magic and and and skip or shortcut all the growth you're going to have in a really short period of time simply by twisting the knife and being like, I'm going to do something about it.

1:24>> Yeah. I think because people presume in the beginning that passion and purpose and meaning and joy and and fulfillment are the things that get people going. But as I've said, of all of the high performers that I've spoken to, the vast vast vast majority of them are driven by insufficiency and resentment and terrible parents or terrible upbringings or a chip on their shoulder about bullies in school. Pick your poison. They have decided to use that to create the activation energy, right? You can lower your action threshold and increase how many points you have to prove. It's like, oh, I want to live a better life. Yeah, yeah, that sounds good. It's like I want to prove the bullies that said I was a worthless piece of [ __ ] in school wrong. It's like that's some [ __ ] potent fuel. I do believe that scaled over a long enough time it's toxic and I don't think that it's necessarily

2:19>> how long. >> Well, [laughter] that's the question like a lifetime, right? Like but I mean it'll it'll fuel you for a decade pretty well. >> Yeah. And I think that I look at me, I look at, you know, I was bullied pretty badly in school and was an only child and had expectations from parents and and, you know, I combined all of those things together. And I did have a chip on my shoulder and I did want to prove to the world that I was worthwhile and I did want people to to realize that they had doubted the wrong person. [ __ ] yeah. Yeah, damn right I do.

2:54I think being really specific about your pain is helpful. So like even being specific about the cheese, really specificity in general is helpful, but like even more so like what is the twisting the p what is twisting the knife? Like what is how do you operationalize twisting the knife? Right? Instead of being like I hate my life, right? It's I hate the way Andrew makes me feel when he says that I'm a piece of [ __ ] and I'm not going to amount to anything, because he's right.