Was ist mentale Stärke wirklich?

0:00And so I see being able to describe the components of mental toughness as the first step to improving them in yourself and others. So just telling yourself or others to toughen up, for example, doesn't help anyone. But giving them clear instructions that they can use to change their behavior over time can help them improve it. And if you can improve it, it no longer means mental toughness is a trait that you're born with, but it's a skill you can develop.

0:31So if you have a short fuse, then you need to practice not giving power to something to ruin your day or ruin your moment, right? If you have a short fuse, then that's the that's the that's the behavior change that you have to think to yourself. I'm not going to give power to this person. I'm not going to let this thing change my behavior, right? So what I want to say here is like I'm not saying don't be upset. That's not my point at all. You just want to allow yourself to be more upset about letting something change your behavior than about the thing itself.

1:05So for example, I can't believe that person said XYZ to me, right? Rather than lashing out, you think, I don't want to give them that level of control over my behavior. I want to be bigger than the pain. Simply put, just continue to behave as normal despite the fact that something bad happened.

1:30And so, if you ever heard somebody who says like bad things happened in threes, right? Or you say like, you know, insult led to injury or bad got to worse, right? All of these things, then you need to recognize as soon as your behavior begins to change and not make more bad decisions, right? You don't want to have a bad decision snowball and that becomes a very slippery slope that we want to avoid as fast as possible. The negative snowball, right?

1:56And the only way you can do that is by first recognizing that you diverted from your normal behavior. You have to recognize, you know what, I got in a bad mood and I started acting differently. Right? Now, you can be in a bad mood, but if only you know and no one else knows, great job. Right? You change your behavior. Like, okay, what would I normally say if I walk in the room when I'm not in a bad mood? Okay. Well, then why don't I say that even though I'm in a bad mood?

2:20Mental toughness. And so for the second kind of character trait that we're trying to improve, right? Then rather than justify why it's okay that you act it out, rather than justify that it's okay that you behave differently than you're normal, right? Remind yourself of all the even worse things that will happen as a result of this continued slippery slope of continuing to hack behave in a way that is not u aligned with your goals. Right?

2:46Because if you continue this course or and the way that I think about this is like what happened the last time I went down this road? Remember that bad thing that happened? Like I remember tons of bad things that have happened when I like when I act out too long, too hard, right? And I think that the more you practice this, the faster you catch yourself from spinning out. You're like, "Okay, I just changed my behavior for against my goals. Okay, let me come back up." Right? Like as soon as I can recognize it. And so on a personal note for me, I think that this one actually hurts the hurts the worst.

3:17Hurts the most, right? Um trying to fix fortitude because I have to admit that I was too weak to control my behavior to begin with. I have to admit that my tolerance was not sufficiently strong to to withstand whatever hardship I went through that I did end up reaching past my max my theoretical max of hard stuff that I was able to to withstand that I did change my behavior.

3:45But at least once you recognize it, right, you can give yourself the opportunity to demonstrate strength. And so that's the in some ways that's the silver lining. When you do act out, you're like, "Wow, this is actually an opportunity for me to stop acting out and demonstrate to myself that I have higher fortitude than I thought I did." And when you do that, you have the strength to change it. And so this action or this decision reverses the momentum of the bad decision, of the bad behavior that you did. And I say bad again, against our preferences, against the goals you have, right? and it begins the ascent back to baseline.

4:23And so if you realize that you've already messed up, you snap back at your girlfriend, you you said something mean to an employee, um you said a snide remark to your boss after something, you know, pissed you off, whatever it is, right? You realize that you messed up, no matter how big or small, you just focus on getting back to normal. What would I do if I were not upset right now? You act as if you were not upset. You allow yourself to be upset but not let the upsetness to change your behavior.

4:52So independent whether you like it or not. That's the point. And so I want to be clear here. This does not invalidate your feelings. It simply breaks the direct link between how you feel and how you act. The goal is to return to baseline as fast as possible. And over time, you can act like normal faster and faster until eventually it's almost as if you were never upset to begin with. Aka, your behavior doesn't change at all.

5:24And on a personal note, this is one that I found one of the be one of the easier ones to improve once it's like, okay, I messed up. I've acted this way. How do I jetack back to normal as fast as possible? Right? So, as soon as you hit your rock bottom, whatever that is for you of this upset period, you reverse course hardcore, full 180, full throttle forward, back to normal. All right? Because then you get to say like, "It only controls me as long as I allow it to control my behavior."

5:54And so, if you realize, now we're getting into the last version of this. If you realize that you are worse off than you were before the bad thing happened, we're getting into adaptability, then you have low adaptability, right? And now how do we reverse this? The fourth component of mental toughness. Then you have to ask yourself, how can I let this bad thing serve me? In what universe would this bad thing occurring actually be the beginning of something better?

6:23Real …