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0:00When you're on your way up, everyone roots for you because you remind them of their dreams. When you're at the top, everyone tears you down because you remind them that they gave up on them. That really Yeah, that spoke to me. I wrote an essay on this because I'm a psychopath? Yeah. Yep. >> When I was a gym owner. So, a lot of people don't know this, but I got I got a writing scholarship in college. Like, I was a vice president of the newspaper. I was uh editor of the creative writing magazine.

0:25So, like, I've been writing for a long time. I enjoy writing. Um and I wrote this essay. I said, I think the title of it was um everyone believes in the American dream until it comes true. And I remember because what had happened was everybody when I when I was sleeping on the gym floor, right? Like, you know, I was the I was the underdog and everyone, you know, my clients were all like, "Oh, good for you. You know, you're going after your dream." They'd see my blanket and my pillow in the corner of the gym and they knew I was sleeping there and it was evident, you know, I I I lived there.

0:55Um and I didn't have a shower. I didn't have a shower. I had to go to the YMCA to go shower. Um and that that everybody was like pro me and then people would come in and they'd sign up like, "I'm going to I'm going to support you, right?" And then within 9 months I had hired people and I had a manager and I pulled up and I remember I walked in the lobby and all the same the same people were like, "Ah, bossman's here. Oh, you're you're not too good for us now, right?"

1:20And I remember being so jarred by the experience and I was like, "You guys rooted for me." And I was like, "And now I I did what you said you were rooting for me to do." And that was when I realized that people want you to do well, but not better than them. And I was like, I had gone from underdog to the man. And I was like, "When does that happen?"

1:44And the litmus test of when it happens is depends on who the person is. Cuz for the person who was working at my gym who, you know, was was a janitor or cleaner, it happened really quick. Right? For the people who were more successful, uh it took longer. And then, you know, the only people at the end who would still remember me were the business owners who were doing way better than me, right? Who were still members of my gym. And so, that was a really interesting experience that happened when I was 23.

2:09And that was the first time I went from underdog to the person that someone would want to attack. But, I had a performance coach tell me this. He said, "Hatred isn't isn't something you avoid." He said, "It is a requisite for success." He said, "If you get no hate, you are not successful." And for some reason, that just like really stuck with me because then it just like rather than it being this thing that I was trying to avoid, it actually became a leading indicator or an indicator that I was on the right path in achieving things. And so, I think that's why I mean, I I I I don't want to I don't want to toot horns or anything. Um, but in terms of like my ability to deal with the naysayers and things like that, I feel like I'm pretty good at it. Like it doesn't really bother me very much. Um, and I think in large part, it was because of how it's framed, at least how, you know, in this discussion how it was framed for me early on, which is that no one hates you from above.

3:07And even, you know, even when I think back about like the bullies and whatnot that you had earlier, like even in middle school, like there were things that I had that were going for me that I couldn't recognize cuz of course everything that comes easy to you are things that they're easy to you, so you don't think that they're, you know, new or interesting or or or cool. And but like at the same time, I was like and I'd advanced a grade in multiple in multiple subjects. I had, you know, straight A's. I worked really hard. I was in shape, right? And I but I had these people who would hate. But, I I you know, you internalize it, but like now I can look back and be like, it's kind of like the the parents who are like, "It's because she's into you," right?

3:48No, it might not be the same that way, but but just thinking about it as an indicator that the hate is actually the light that you're on the right path. We spoke about this last time that nothing is going to be worthwhile that doesn't come with an associated amount of discomfort.

4:11Therefore, when you start to feel friends around you and the people that you used to be able to speak a common language with start to push back and start to make the quips of, "Oh, not drinking tonight, yeah? Oh, you must be too cool for us now." I know it hurts. I know it hurts. That is the lead indicator, not even a lagging indicator. That is the lead indicator that you are doing the right thing.

4:38And a lot of people listen to this podcast. I get messages from people like, "Hey man, I'm a 22-year-old rugby player from the northwest of of the UK. I live in Cumbria. None of my friends understand me. I want to do personal growth. I don't want to live in the UK. And when I listen to Modern Wisdom, I feel less alone." And it [ __ ] it, it makes me tear up because I'm like, [ __ ] like I see me in that person. I see me in that.

5:01And the it's so hard to reframe it. The pushback you are getting is the indicator that you are doing the right thing. It is. And if you can reframe the distaste that you get from other people as the same as that. >> [gasps] >> Because they're projecting the things that they know they should be doing that you are doing that they're not doing.

5:30And you remind them of that. And so, it's that it's even So, even though the mountain that you're climbing is actually a smaller one than the one that you ultimately want to climb, you're actually at the top of their mountain. And so, they start tearing you down. So, like that's where the the underdog story that we said at the very beginning of this with the quote, which is like, on the way up, they root for you, and then when you're at the top, they try and tear you down because you remind them of the dreams that they couldn't accomplish, right? And so, you quitting drinking, or you staying in to work on your side hustle, or your project, or the business that you want to launch, or the podcast, that might be you might be at the top of their mountain. And so, they are tearing you down because now you remind them that they haven't done it. And it's purely a projection of them onto you, and has nothing to do with you.

6:10And that I hope that that comforts someone. Real quick, if you are a business owner and you are not growing as fast as you like, I'd like to give you a free gift. So, my team and I put together the $100 million scaling road map, which is basically 200 hours of us looking over all the portfolio companies we've had, and what stages of growth they went through, and more importantly, where they got stuck and how they got past it. And so, we broke it into these 10 stages, and we made this little kind of quiz thing where if you put in your business information, it'll tell you where you're at, and the most important part for you, what to do for each of functions of the business across product, marketing, sales, customer success, recruiting, IT, human resources, and finance. And so, no matter what you're struggling with, someone else has already struggled with it and solved it. And so, I'd like to give you this thing absolutely free. You can go to acquisition.com/roadmap, plug in your business information, and if you want us to actually help you deconstruct the business, and you're trying to scale, we'd love to help you out. On the thank you page, you can book a call with my team, and we will look at the business, see if we can help, and if we can, we'll invite you out to Vegas, and we'll do this in person, live.