You Grow Faster When You Stop Making It About You

0:00In a lot of ways with business, in my opinion, ego is the enemy because it it gives us too much confidence when we don't deserve it. >> When when did you start beating down your ego? >> I mean, I've been trying to do it since I was 19. Uh it's just been a very slow process. I just I just realized that it was the root of all the unhappiness that I had. And like everything that I had was in comparison to other people with for no reason. And like, you know, I've obviously adopted some perspectives we'll probably get into later, but that are contrarian in nature in terms of like how we live, but not just there's no benefit to ego.

0:32There's just none. And then I have a different thing that I've been thinking about recently. I'm excited to share it with you. >> Sure. >> Um so there's you've probably heard this, but there's a lot of evidence that points to with mitochondrial DNA that we go back to like one one woman birthed like the mitochondrial DNA of all humans this comes like tracks back to one one woman, right? And so I think that that's interesting within the context of legacy cuz people talk about legacy and they want to like um like leave something for their for their pro-progeny.

0:59And we we love our sideways family members, right? >> What do you mean? >> Like aunt yeah yeah like your turn family. Yeah yeah exactly. >> But like if we all came from the same mitochondrial DNA, right? Then then we like not to be like weird and and huggy huggy lovey but >> family members. >> 100%. >> course. >> I find that really fascinating. It's just like it's like a super distant cousin. And and you can't

1:25>> this is why when I met you for the first time, what did I do when I met you? >> Deep long hug. >> Deep long hug. >> And I do this with everybody. >> hug. >> It was a triple hug cuz you you >> I I brought you in I brought you in twice. >> Bring it in, bro. >> And then at the end of the hug, you had to surrender. >> [laughter] >> And there's a reason I do that is cuz um >> Oh, that's a thing? I didn't know there was a thing. >> Well, I mean I I mean that's just a unless it's somewhere it's like maybe someone who's older that it doesn't want to be hugged or, you know, your wife I'm going to give a quicker hug.

1:53>> [laughter] >> I'm not going to be grabbing someone. Yeah. But it's you know, it's a respectful, you know, understanding the human being in front of you doing your best respect it. But with you, I knew I could just hug you and it's going to make you uncomfortable. >> Oh. >> And it's going to make you uncomfortable, but but for me, I don't know if I'm ever going to see you again. I don't know if I'm going to see you tomorrow or or anyone tomorrow. >> Totally. >> And so why not embrace people with, you know, a 3 to 5 10 second awkward hug >> Yeah. >> and let people know that you really appreciate the moment.

2:21>> Yeah. >> That's what I try to do. That's what I try to focus on. But you know, and if we're all distant cousins, >> Yeah. >> then why not treat each other that way, the best way possible, you know? >> And I didn't and I didn't mean to launch all the way there cuz I'll go right back to ego. So I can >> [laughter] >> scoot back otherwise we'll go in that direction. Um but yeah, so I think cuz all this comparison I was like, well if I'm comparing myself to a family member, would I feel the same way? And if if all these people were on the same side as me because we're all family, would I still feel like I would cuz I've I've just tried to attack it from a logical perspective of like, how many different ways can I try and diffuse this bomb?

2:50And I think there's a lot of keys and you just unlock tiny piece of it and you can just try, you know, piece by piece. I don't think anyone ever conquers it, but or you know, just hopefully I can over time. >> Get better. And you know, this I used to be very competitive as well as an athlete. That's all I thought about was winning. It's like I had to win to feel like I was worthy or I was good enough or I was talented enough or and if I didn't win then I wasn't reaching my goal of of winning the championship or the prize or whatever it was.

3:18And I took that into business for many years and I felt like I needed to compete with other people. And then it's funny when I started the show almost 10 years ago, I was like, it can't be about me. It needs to be about collaboration. In order for this to really grow and scale and change lives and impact people, it can't just be the Lewis Howes show all day long. One, I'm not smart enough. I don't have all the answers. I'm not as talented as you. Shorter guys are way smarter always.

3:45That's [laughter] why you're so much more brilliant. Um you know, and I was like, I got to bring on the smart people and create a safe space. >> I got to bring all the tall guys on, right? Now they're all going to get taller, right? Like every All my audience will get taller as a result. That's [laughter] what I'm doing. >> But uh it's funny because when I started to shift that, the ego goes back into still comparing and ranking and all these things. And I was like, "Okay, when I when I started to shift that it's when I you know, the platform and the community started to expand because I made it about shining the light on others.

4:12>> Yeah. >> You know, and doing my best to shine the light on others. And when you do that, when you shine the light on an idea or a mentor that taught you something, usually good things come back. So >> Yeah. >> That's interesting. So when did you start to shed this ego mentality? >> I mean, I started attacking when I was 19. >> 19. And how old are you now? >> 32. >> 32, yeah. >> Um and I think I have like 40% less ego than I did then.

4:36>> That's good. [laughter] Yeah. And how do you have How do you diminish the ego as you continue to scale and exit these big companies and build your brand and get more and more attention and known? How do you bring it back down to the the humility? >> I think it's linking the two. So it's trying to link these good things are happening because I'm decreasing this thing. >> That's smart. >> And so that way I can associate I can have a positive reinforcing association with the success that actually that would normally amplify the wrong character traits.

5:06>> What do you think would happen if your ego was at the highest level right now? >> I think a lot of people would I mean, a lot more people would not like it. Like I mean, I don't think the message would get across because to be fair, I think the message would stop it would the spread would happen much slower or not at all because the message would change cuz the message wouldn't be about the message, it would be about me. >> Mhm. >> And I think that's I think that's probably the reason that this has grown so much is because you've you've tried to quiet yourself in

5:34>> Yeah. >> so that the message and the idea can spread to as many people as possible and you put the message on the pedestal rather than Lewis on the pedestal. And I think your audience realizes >> Yeah. >> If you like this video and you're business owner who wants to break through your current revenue ceiling, I distilled every lesson from scaling 10 businesses past 10 million and three businesses past 100 million into a completely free scaling road map that I've used to go from zero to one, zero to 10, and zero to 100 plus. And so you can click here and you can check it out.

6:07Again, absolutely free. And since you're a business owner, I appreciate you and enjoy.