Schwierige Entscheidungen: Wähle dein Bedauern

0:00An easy way to look at the decision is rather than which do I want to do, which regret could I live with? >> Mhm. >> Because there are certain regrets that you can't bear living with. Now, you can bear living with them, but they're going to be worse than other ones. >> Yeah. >> So, what is the difference between I need to have a difficult decision. I need to have a difficult conversation with my boss about leaving to go and do this thing or I need to That's the regret. That's one regret of the sitting down and seeing them face to face and telling you're going to leave their small mom and pop business and you're the main salesperson and it's going to be terrible and they're going to cry and you're going to feel like a piece of [ __ ]

0:34>> That's one regret. >> Another regret is looking back at a decade that you waste in a job that you [ __ ] hate. >> Yeah. >> So, in life, you have to choose your regrets. I love that as a decision-making frame because it also jumpst starts our fear engine because rather than saying like what do I want, it's what do I what do I hate least and so we get to run. So then you get to use your run away from engine rather than your go towards two.

1:01>> Yeah. Mouse and the cheese again. >> Yeah. And was it you was telling me that uh with a cat? >> Yeah. I mean >> Yeah. >> So I'm just going to butcher what you told me. Um but why don't you share the like how much Yeah. >> Yeah. This was on our last episode. So this is sequel for the people that were listening. Um Jordan Peterson talks about the study where they starve a rat and they put it into a tube. >> They waft the smell of cheese in from the front and there's a spring attached to the rat's tail so they can work out how hard it's pulling. How hard it's pulling is a proxy for desire for how much it wants it. You'd think this rat is starving. It's going to pull as hard as it can. So it they w the smell of cheese in and it runs towards it and whatever. They do another iteration of the study. This time they waft the smell of cheese in from the front and the smell of a cat in from behind.

1:44>> Yeah. >> It pulls harder. >> Yeah. >> Why? Because not only in life do you want to run towards something you want, but you want to run away from something that you fear. And this ties into your the three most common traits of >> very successful people. >> Superiority complex. Uh massive crippling insufficiency and impulse control. So >> superiority complex. I can achieve this thing. That's the cheese. >> Uh crippling sense of insufficiency. I fear the cat. Impulse control. I'm in a tube. There's only one direction I can go. I don't need to make a choice.

2:14>> Yep. [sighs and gasps] I love this a lot as a frame for for for decision-m because >> that like think about the decision that we were just talking about, right? So, it's like I'm I'm the sales guy and I stay and like if you were to frame it in upsides, it's like upside is I keep these friends, right? Um, and but I want to leave so that I can start this business, right? Those are the upsides. But when you think about it in terms of like I waste a decade of my life not living the life I want to me, I mean, even when I say it, it sounds more motivating even though it's the exact same thing. It's like losing $100 versus gaining $100. People have three times higher loss aversion. And so it's like if you can't get yourself to do something, think about it from the perspective of what you have to lose rather than what you have to gain.

3:03You've got a quote that I love. My biggest fear is getting to the end of my life and thinking I wasn't good enough. What's that mean? [snorts] And I'll define good enough is I could have tried harder. Like I want to leave everything on the field. And one of the things that has helped me a lot, I mean, in the quote that went unbelievably viral, [gasps] um, …