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0:00I'm super sensitive to I am statements, labeling statements like this. Like, I'm a neat freak. I'm the type of person who. So, whenever you're dating someone, you're getting to know someone, people like to blanket I am statements really early on to set the stage. Like, I'm the type I'm the type of person who likes to shop early. I like to clean things. I'm a labeler. I'm a whatever. And then, and this is the insidious part, they then [music] say because. And then they insert a reason that they made up or that sounded good in the past and people nodded their heads and agreed [music] with. Because my mom never loved me enough. Because I didn't get enough hugs. Because I gave a speech once and everyone laughed at me. Because you don't know. And the reality is you will never know. All we know is that you do a certain type of behavior. That's it.

0:40[music] By giving these because statements all this power, you actually put all the power into something that is unchangeable in the past. And so, you have to keep dealing with it. Whereas, if you just said, I do these things, period. >> [music] >> Now, if I want to change what I do, then I should just reward myself in the present for doing something different. And that makes it a lot more valuable. And it makes your identity and what you do as a result, or rather what you do and your identity as a result, something under your control. You don't want to blame the things in the past that you can't change. You want to blame things in the present that you can. [music] So, if you said, I have trouble getting close to girls because my mom and I aren't close.

1:14One, you give your mother all the power in your love life. Ooh. You give power to something that happened in the past that you can't [music] change to things that are happening in the present that you can change. And so, wouldn't it be more useful to say, in the [music] past, I have struggled to get close to girls, period. Now, that could be for a number of reasons. [music] Thing is is that you don't know what reason it is. Cuz I could say, let's say imagine all these things happened. You struggled with your mom. Let's say you had a bad breakup at some point in your life. You're not in shape. I could say, I struggle getting close to girls. And I could use any of those three as my reasons. But which of those serve me? None of them.

1:51All we know is that you struggle to get close to girls. Okay. Well, then just look at what it would take to get close to girls and then do that rather than having this other thing that's attached to the behavior that you can't do anything about. It just makes changing who you are and what you do a lot easier. Sometimes people are such douchebags, they will tell a young child, you will never have a successful relationship with a woman because you don't respect or love me. A [music] mother or the reverse could be true of a father. They're a [ __ ] douchebag for saying that because [music] they are labeling you with something that you can't change. But that's their problem.

2:25It also has no basis in fact. When people are like, "Look at how the son treats the mother, that's how he's going to treat his wife." Why the [ __ ] would I treat my wife like I treat my mother? Dear God, look. That's just a statement that sounds good but has no basis in fact. You treat your wife like you treat your wife. You treat your mother like you treat your mother. They're different people. People want to have problems because it gives them a reason to suck and it be okay. >> [music] >> It gives them ego padding so they can protect themselves for the reason why they're not successful, for the reason they haven't accomplished what they said they were going to accomplish. And so they lean on their potential, {comma} and their trauma as the two reasons that people prop up. "I've got lots of potential but I have all this trauma."

3:04And neither of those matter. I've gone through three stages of like [music] mental development in terms of how I see changing my behavior. In the beginning, I attributed my behavior to my past traumas. >> [music] >> The second phase was that I I chose to change the story. What if my mother was just trying to feel better and it wasn't my fault. So then I changed my behavior in that sense. The third phase, which is where I'm at now, maybe there'll be a fourth phase. But the third phase was I behave this way, period. The because statement in the second half is completely irrelevant.

3:31One, because I don't know it. Two, because I can't change it. So I might as well just choose [music] to do the thing that I want to do, irrelevant of my past. Real quick, if you're a business owner and you are not growing as fast as you'd like, I'd like to give you a free gift. So my team and I put together the 100 million dollar scaling road map, which is basically 200 hours of us looking over all the portfolio companies we've had and what stages of growth they went through and more importantly, where they got stuck and how they got past it. And so, we broke it into these 10 stages, and we made this little kind of quiz thing where if you put in your business information, it'll tell you where you're at, and the most important part for you, what to do for each of functions of the business across product, marketing, sales, customer success, recruiting, IT, human resources, and finance. And so, no matter what you're struggling with, someone else has already struggled with it and solved it. And so, I'd like to give you this thing absolutely free. You can go to acquisition.com/roadmap, plug in your business information, and if you want us to actually help you deconstruct the business and you're trying to scale, we'd love to help you out on the thank you page you can just book a call with my team, and we will look at the business, see if we can help, and if we can, we'll invite you out to Vegas, and we'll do this in person live.