Leila Hormozi über radikale Eigenverantwortung

0:00it was the moment that I was like I can't do this anymore like I can't drink like this I can't keep getting arrested like I can't keep around and the weird thing is that I think during the time I was I knew that wouldn't be the rest of my life I was like I know me I'm not going to keep doing this forever but I think that you know a lot of people say that to themselves and then they end up 20 years later they're still saying I'll turn it around in a day or two today I sit down with the amazing Leila hosi founder and CEO of acquisition.

0:30the things that she has achieved in such a short amount of time is absolutely incredible from the business lessons to the work ethic to some of her backstory this conversation was absolutely amazing I'm so excited to share the full conversation with you today's video was made possible by Mulligan brothers.com where we're having an end of summer sale where it's buy one get on free across all the t-shirts using Code sale and also the momentto mor poster and the not a journal is also heavily discounted with the link in the description but before that let's dive into this amazing and insightful conversation with Le hosi where you're going to learn about business how to set up business how to set up your mind and your mentality to per a successful entrepreneur and also a mentality around Lea is that a small idea and a small business is just as hard as running a big idea in a big business and she's going to teach you how to think like this instead of small let's dive into this amazing interview with Leos usually what I ask is just to introduce yourself and what you do for somebody who wouldn't know you so my name is Lea horos and uh currently I'm the CEO of acquisition. comom acquisition. comom is essentially a portfolio of businesses that we acquire minority stake in um and prior to that I was the CEO of gym launch Prestige labs and Allen which was there was a service company uh an e-commerce company and then a software company and sold all three of those and then started acquisition. comom literally the next day I'm hoping we can sort of dive into some of the details but there was so much there like I think we're going to have to skim a lot of it but I'd love to dive in some of the details um but I'd love to start where you grew up and especially for for a British audience like how would you describe where you br you you grew up like I you know I I didn't even know what Vegas was like until I was like 20 years old I didn't know what it would look like so yeah what what was your childhood like where did you grow up so I grew up in Portage Michigan um which is like a small Midwestern Town Midwest different from the West Coast in terms of like people are very friendly you all know all your neighbors um typically if you grow up there you end up staying there getting a job there starting a family there um not as many people I think are venturing out and leaving and going to the coasts um and it's definitely a different kind of mentality it's slow it's much slower than where I live now and so everything is slower paced more family focused obviously also safer um less to do and you know it's funny is that I just remember my entire life when I lived there always thinking I can't wait to leave because it felt too slow for me and out of all the amazing places that you could live in the country not even just that but the world I was like why here and I I think I felt that for a very long time which is why I did end up leaving the thing that gets me like with your story is and this is what I'd like to try to get across to the viewers is do you think you were born do you think you were born with this sort of ambition to grow outside of the situation you were in or was it something that happened within your childhood that led you to that place I don't think that I was born with anything uh I mean I would tell you my dad would say differently um but I actually think it was when my parents ended up getting divorced when I was I think I was between 8 and N uh when they separated and my dad ended up moving out getting an apartment somewhere my sister ended up leaving going to college she was much older than me and then I was stuck alone with my mom in the house when they had left and then my mother very quickly because of the divorce and then very quickly after their divorce um her dad passed away and she just went into like a very dark place and she turned to drugs and alcohol and I witnessed that from day one like the like starting to drink more then like drinking every day then like starting to drink earlier in the day and then like until it snowballed into like a complete alcoholic and so I actually think that that time in my life and living with her for the 5 years I did when she did that was probably the pivotal moment that turned me into the person I am today because until then I had been sheltered by two really amazing parents who meant well but I also think I was very sheltered um and dependent on them and in the time that I spent living with her when she was an alcoholic you know she wouldn't come home for days on end she would come home and be incoherent she would not talk to me ignore me she'd always be with a boyfriend at the time uh in and out of the bars and I had to learn to take care of myself and at the time it was extremely hard and I remember just a constant Perpetual feeling of stress like in my body like not being able to get rid of the feeling of just like complete anxiety um because I was always worried about her I was always worried is she gonna be okay is she GNA end up killing herself today is you know is she G to end up coming home am I going to be on my own like what am I going to do um but what I didn't realize was that going through that for those 5 years taught me how to take care of myself and ultimately that I could rely on myself which at the time I don't think I could have known that it would do that for me but now looking back I see it as like that was the moment in which it I would say um it was almost like a it gave me the jump start to get to where I am today because I'm not sure that I would be able to be the leader I am if I hadn't learned how to lead myself so early on could you pin it though could you pin down the the trait that you had or some the the thing that you had because you I think you was 10 years old there's a tragic story I remember you saying in one of your videos about where you you was calling for her and it happened on multiple occasions but you'd you was trying to call for her and you couldn't get hold of her as a 10 year- old old um most 10-year-olds I don't think would react in the same way as you did like is there something you could pin down that led you to be able to do that yeah I was sitting in our guest room of I'm sorry when you said it it's just like I was sitting in the guest room of our house and I I thought she was dead and so I kept calling her phone and I think it was like the 20th time that I called and she didn't pick up and then I remember thinking to myself why do you keep calling she's never going to pick up she's not going to answer and I sat there and I remember thinking holding the phone in my hand I said I'm not calling again I'm done and then I just thought to myself this thought popped in my head and I said I need to make the rest of my life so good that it makes all of this worth it because the pain I felt in that moment and for those years was so great and it was also a secret I kept to myself I didn't tell anybody because I also still loved her and I didn't want to get her in trouble or whatever that meant but that was what stuck with me was in that moment I thought to myself like you have to be so good that it makes everything worth it and I think I took that on with me in that now when I go through anything in life I just think to myself make it worth it make the dark moments worth it by doing yourself Justice and getting to the other side and getting through it and not being a victim of those dark times I don't know how a kid at that age had that thought but I'm super Greatful I did and I remember it crystal clear I remember holding the phone it was one of the phones with like a huge cord and it was like yellow banana phone basically um and I remember just sitting there it was 3:00 a.m. and thinking that and from that moment on I felt like a sense of calmness because I thought to myself one no longer am I going to keep calling she's going to leave who knows if she's going to come back I need to focus on myself and I need to focus on making my life better and then the second thing was it like lit a fire inside of me to be better because I feel like in that moment I saw you know she was a great mother to me when she was but I saw her turn into this person that I felt was so unfamiliar to me and the only thought I could have to myself was like I will never do this to somebody I never want to do this to anybody in my life and make them feel this way and so I think what it did was that it propelled me to go in the complete opposite direction that she was in and then I it led me to you know finally getting out of her house and saying you know what I'm going to leave because she would say you know if you leave I'm I'm going to die if you leave like I have nothing left it my life will be over and so it felt like you know in a way a threat like what does that mean your life will be over you know she wasn't stable and I said to myself I'm not your mother and I remember the day I was like I'm leaving and I'm not I'm not coming back because at the end of the day this is really harsh to say but I said if you die because of me leaving it's not on me I have to take care of myself and that was kind of the mentality I took from that point out and she didn't end up I think getting better but I haven't remained in contact wow I mean so what age did you leave her I was 14 15 wow so and and the so there was a 5-year time period was this from when your parents divorced going through that sort of process so during the time in between I I stopped staying at the house I started you know if you talked to like childhood friends like I end up staying with them I had friends parents who knew the situation with my mom and I would basically live at their house like I even did chores at one of my best friends house uh they would buy groceries for me like it was like I basically lived there and I would come home to get you know clothes and things like that but I kind of checked out I was like I'm just going to do me and take care of myself and not be around this and I would come back you know every week or so to see what was going on and usually the house was disgusting and I clean it and then I would leave again but I just tried not to stay there because I didn't feel safe and I didn't feel like I didn't know who she was anymore you know it wasn't the mother that I grew up with and so I didn't I didn't want to stay there because I felt like I created my own family within my friends families and I think that is the truth is like I think she was so absent at that point in time I felt like I had to go get what I needed elsewhere alcohol is so destructive um I think um I mean our our family suffered with uh my my father was like a really bad alcoholic but he wasn't in our lives so it didn't really affect us but like I remember I had a phone call with my grandmother one time I didn't she was the sweetest lady never realized that she was alcoholic she' been alcoholic whole life and uh and I got a a phone call about I'm going to kill myself and all you know all and it's I could only imagine like what that would be like to be living around that with a parent it must been so difficult um and I'm still like I I wish it was easy to pick in what the ingredient was that allowed you to grow out of that situation cuz so many people through tragedy or difficult times and traumas it feels like they do go one or the other way you know they either fall victim to it or they don't become a victim and they come much stronger for it I think there was a quote I'm going to mess this up because there's so many moments in your life where you was probably handed a [ __ ] hand and you just went the opposite way and it was like [ __ ] you guys like I'll I'll show you guys wrong but there was something you said um if I can't find it I'm just going to butcher it that's okay so maybe I'll just butcher it but it was basically like I'm going to work as hard as I possibly can so that for the future that the past is just the past and it's so it's so far behind me that all I can see is the future could you talk about that mentality you know I heard this statistic at one point where it was like over 50% of the past that we remember is inaccurate and once I heard that this like light bulb went off for me because I think I was probably like 20 or 21 at the time and people were always telling me you've got to resolve things with your mom you've got to figure out these things and like I'd been to therapy in and out and talked to plenty of therapists and life coaches all these things about my mother right and I constantly felt like it just reopening something that I would never find a resolution to you know it's like it was shitty she became an alcohol olic she didn't mean for it to make my life worse but it did by consequence do I think she's a bad person no do I think that she you know created bad conditions for me yes and I just realized that the more that I focused on working on my future the less the past had power over me and the less relevant it was to my life and especially knowing that what 50% of it could be made up I'm like what if it was better what if it was worse I don't know you know this is my memory and my recollection but I don't want to live my life beholden to a past that might not even be true it's just my perspective that to me was the main thought it's like why would I let that control me when you know our minds do very powerful things it's like I don't know in what direction it was Amplified you know but right now allowing me to think that things were worse than they were how's that going to help me make a better future it's not and so I just went heads down and like I'm going to create such a comp telling life for myself that I don't even think about the past and that's worked for me for the last 13 years normally I'd stick to sort of the documentary stuff but I have to pick up on this because it's really close to me um so around 7 years ago just before mull started like the whole YouTube stuff my son passed away and my way of dealing with it was to do this and I you know I and I head down was obsessed still am but was obsessed but I would say 2 years ago there was a point where everybody around me was telling me how you know it wasn't great for me I need to go into therapy all this kind of stuff so I did and it felt like I was just churning up and for a good year churning up this thing and bringing all this like this stuff back now I'm back heads down again you know and I'm focusing forward and just cracking on and I feel better than ever but the opinion of people with that kind of mentality is that it's just wrong it's not the right way to do it it's I'd love to hear more on it I mean there's a lot that we could go into there which is like it's also like you know there's great waitresses and there's awful waitresses there are great therapists there are awful therapists how does the person in the room know to judge often times they don't and so I think a lot of people fall prey to people that create dependency on them you know I actually think in studying what I have which is in studying like some of the best you know psychiatrists and therapists from 100 years ago um most therapies should only take six eight weeks and I think that we created a culture in which people are dependent on therapy so that they can keep coming back and they get recurring Revenue so I look at it more as like that's a great business model for a therapist is that good for the patient probably not also through a lot of the things that I studied I just realized there is also self therapy which is that you can therapize yourself now who have studied the most for this has probably been Albert Ellis I've read like all of his books um but I think that what I've realized is that you can change how you behave despite whatever happened to you and so most people say let me figure out why this happened like why are you so upset about your son of course you're [ __ ] upset what the hell you know what I mean like of course I'm upset them I'm what the hell like that's normal and okay to be that upset but is there anything that can be done about it it's like no and then I think that people tend to demonize maybe the way that we feel afterwards and say that there must be something wrong with you for feeling depressed that's baffling to me that people would think that there's anything wrong with feeling depressed or anxious or you know like you have something wrong with you because I think when we feel like the true depths of negative human emotions we do wonder if there's something wrong with us but that's just life and I think that we live in a society where people label it as there's something wrong with you and I think I actually fell prey to it for a few years where therapists were telling me there was something wrong with me and I you know after that I kind of took a step back I was like I think there's something [ __ ] wrong with you because you're labeling me you know and I'm doing all these things to make my life better and you keep telling me why it shouldn't be and why it's okay to feel this way and keep reopening these wounds and I just noticed it wasn't helping but what did help every time was that I focused on the future and I changed my behavior and I didn't allow anything that's ever happened to me in the past to be a reason of why I behave a certain way today you know I could easily say oh I don't get close to people I've got walls up because my mother was an alcoholic and so I'm a little colder what I'm a fully functioning 31-year-old adult I can decide to act in a more productive way in my relationships so what happened when I was 14 should affect what happens when I'm 31 like what happens is that an event occurs and then often times to deal with that event we take on unproductive behaviors and then we don't stop and they go on for 10 or 15 years and then we say well in order to change this unproductive Behavior I should figure out why this thing happened to me and put reason behind it and I've just found that what if I just changed the unproductive behavior and it didn't matter why I was doing it but I changed it anyways and so I think that's the kind of approach that I've taken to things is I look at it very much like I am not in control always we don't choose the thoughts and feelings we have Som days like we can choose to focus on things but can I choose if it pops up in my head like no um I can observe it and try not to focus on it but what I can do is that despite what I think and despite what I feel I can change my behavior and that has been like the one thing that has brought me relief in everything because I can feel as bad as I want I don't have to act that way and I think that I've gotten a lot of relief from that but I don't know for me it felt very unproductive talking about all of those things because I think that a lot of them also are predicated on I think that imagine this right somebody dies and you live in one of the you know Western or Eastern uh Indian countries right they celebrate death and they're happy and they're Overjoyed that those people are dead and then they move on and go on with their lives here we're told it's a bad thing and we should be sad and therefore people grieve for months years decades and so when I hear that I think to myself it's all in a way expectations societal norms and almost the placebo effect you know I remember when I broke up with a boyfriend and then I moved across the United States to California and a therapist told me she was probably the only good therapist I've ever had um I said I just you know I I just can't get over him I'm just so sad and she's like well how long has it been I said 2 months she's like how long were you together 14 months she's like why are you still sad and I was like well I heard it takes like half the time you've been with somebody to get over them she said I think that's [ __ ] Lea and in the moment I was stunned that a therapist would say that's [ __ ] and I was like what do you mean she's like it takes however long you decide it to take start living your life again and that frame I have applied to pretty much everything because I have just found that continuing to think about things that don't make our lives better just tend not to help us definitely and I I I I heard you say that as well about the the ex and saying that that you just decided and I love that and I think if it does feel the same for me like that's exactly what it felt like like I obviously I'm sad like don't like it's it's terrible like I feel sad I feel devastated but I don't need to be there forever like I don't need to wallow in that and let it you know affect my life massively but it was true like a lot of therapists would tell me that you know you need to explore this you need to explore your feelings your emotions and you know I think they try if there is like you say a behavior they try and fix what that is when um the the inciting thing the thing that inited the behavior you can you don't it doesn't need to be attached to it anymore and um yeah I mean I think it was the conversation you had with Lisa bill you I think there was so many like nuggets in there again I'd love to go over them that one was a huge one for me there's another one um again like I don't I don't want to butcher these but this this was the uh I really I really like this one and it was it was based on anxiety and um if you have anxiety like I I want to talk spefic specifically about when you first went on stage but like just away from that like you said you don't have to feel great when you're stepping into a boardroom or onto stage or whatever situation is you don't have to feel great you can accept that and once you've accepted that it makes it easier it's not to feel perfect the whole time and then you kind of work your way through it one step at a time afterwards that mentality I think is another thing that stop not having that stops people from doing it in the first place taking those steps I think I found for me that the more that I try to get rid of a feeling the more I feel it if I'm feeling frustrated or I'm feeling angry or I'm feeling anxious and then I think oh you shouldn't feel this way I don't want to feel like this let me go do something to try and not feel like this I actually create more of it because I think I'm just guessing it's like I'm telling myself it's not okay and therefore now I'm stressed about feeling stressed I'm not just stressed I'm now stressed of feeling stressed and so for me I've just found that what has worked best has been I accept that I'm going to feel awful and I can get really good at feeling awful in fact I think that I have mastered feeling awful and that's what people don't get they're like how do you do all these things I'm like I'm really great at doing anything feeling awful like I can speak on stage while I feel awful I can lead a meeting while I feel awful I can do a presentation while I feel awful I can run a book launch while I feel awful I can do all these things while I feel awful and I think that most people when they feel awful act awful they stay in bed they act depressed they act how they feel and what I have found is that that just compounds the feeling of bad whether it's stress anxiety or awfulness grief Etc you feel more that way because you behave that way for me what I found is that one eventually I will start to feel less awful if I stop thinking about it and I start doing the thing right because I'm going to be more focused on what I'm doing than how I'm feeling and then second to that is if I can do something while feeling awful how easy is it to do it when I feel good how much more skilled will I be at that thing and so that's I've looked at it in that way which is like I I seek out to do things in imperfect conditions because then when there are perfect conditions I have an unfair Advantage I don't feel awful today I got a full night's sleep I'm prepared amazing this is going to be a cakewalk you know because I'm used to being up all night the night before being stressed not being prepared because something was last minute and doing it anyways and so does it feel good in the moment no but it creates a sense of confidence that then turns into a feeling of trust with myself and that is something that is worth so much more to me than feeling good every day because [ __ ] will be hard whether you want it to or not and you never know what to expect things can just come out of nowhere and all of a sudden it's just like this is what it is like we're going into a really hard season and I don't ever want to go into a season like that in my life feeling like I don't know if I've got my back can I do this I want to know like there is insurmountable evidence that I can do this do you enjoy performing in the chaos more than performing in like a nice situation enjoy no find useful yes okay I think it is more useful than performing when things are going well so you don't you don't get off on you know it just being Mayhem after the first step okay I think that it's still hard to do things when you feel awful but I know I'm like if you just take the first step and you just commit to this it will feel easier for the second step and so to say that I like I'm hungry for it and look forward to it like yes and no like actually I'm like I wish I could just you know not have to do that but then the other voice inside of me is like this is what makes you who you are this is why you're going to be better in other situations this is going to make you a stronger person you're going to have more trust in yourself after this and then that makes me excited because I think again how do you make a bad situation worth it you figure out what good can come from it and I think that is what I look forward to is seeing how in months or in years me showing up in those situations will apply to Future situations that I didn't even know where to come yeah I think being able to perform like you say at that kind of level with that kind of chaos going off then when it is a little bit calmer you know you're going to kill it um I do want to try and dial it back a little bit into the the story just to make sure I've got this there um there's so many interesting points to choose from but I think the the early days that there's a great story around Subway I think I think I don't know whether it's been covered too much but I do I would love to hear it again um but I I also am interested in um if it if it intertwines with that that story was there at that point a belief in your head that you going to be somebody that you was going to achieve something and if there was did it come from anywhere in particular I don't think I ever in my early days had a belief oh I'm going to be somebody whatever that means but I think that the mentality I had was don't stop until you are do I believe that I can get there at that time no but did I believe I could work harder than anybody yes I believed I could and work harder than anybody's relative but I think I knew that I could put in the work to at least have a chance at it um and I think that was the one thing that you know I think I got that from my dad you know he was an immigrant he came from Iran and I've watched him my entire life and he has tireless work ethic and he always said like you don't have to be the smartest you don't have to be the best but like you can work harder than everybody and he's like that's the approach I've always taken and my dad is a fantastic person but I believe him because I think he does outwork everybody just because he cares and that's part of who he is and so I think seeing that I think was a really great example for me because early on after I got out of the house with my mother that was my mentality which was just like work on yourself work on being better and that's when I got my first job and I I got my job uh it was at Subway which I could walk to from my house uh from my dad's house cuz I moved in with him and at that point I think I had like my drivers permanent um so I couldn't actually drive a car yet so I knew I could walk and I was like well that's good because one I can get exercise when I go there and back because I was trying to get in better shape and then two I can have a job right and they were the only places that would take somebody that was not 16 yet and so that was my first job and it was purely to make money I was just like I need this money to save up to buy things I want it was just that was it it wasn't like oh I'm going to work so hard on all these things I think I just accepted that I need to start from the bottom because I remember being embarrassed at times people would come in I'm like a Subway Sandwich Artist I'm making their Subways and I'm a girl also there's more men that worked there and it was the subway right next to my competitor high school so all the football team would come there and get subs or all like you know and so it was a little embarrassing at times um but I think it was really good for me because what that job taught me to do in the beginning was and I think this is a skill but how to follow directions that sounds silly but there are so many people who you can give directions to and they don't follow them and I think that I learned in that at that job that that is a skill because I saw all these other people that were working there get fired cuz they wouldn't make a sandwich correctly because they wouldn't do the opening or the closing correctly like simple things but they are skills nonetheless and I'm grateful that I started there because I think it was humbling and it wasn't glamorous and none of my first jobs were um but they taught me things that in the moment I didn't realize were important and I look back on now and I can pinpoint everything I gained from each one yeah there's a quote by Steve Jobs again like not word for word but the dots will connect looking back like when and it does it you don't know going forward but I think we we've had it with Mulligan brothers and um all the jobs we worked like lab like laboring jobs and all these kind of stuff and there's so many different things in that I think the biggest one is hone in work ethic for us was a was a huge thing like I'm going to load more bricks than anybody on site that's just what I'm going to do because that's what I do like and there wasn't I don't think there was a reason I didn't get paid more for it but just felt like that was the thing the how how valuable is work ethic and how far can it take you I think that in the beginning it is probably one of the most valuable skills you can have because when you're just getting started often times it's not that you lack one skill or even two but you might lack three or four or five skills and the only thing in my opinion that can get you past that wall is having the tenacity and having the work ethic to be able to do all at the same time because even when you take on a new job say you take on a new business whatever it is in life usually we have a learning curve and what I think a lot of people Miss is that it's a learning curve on multiple skills at the same time and that's when things feel really hard why do most people fail at building a business because it's like 10 skills at the same time and most people can work on two but they can't work on all 10 and I think that that is why I believe work ethic with such an imperative part of my journey because I think in realizing for example when I was losing weight you I lost almost 100 lbs when I was uh 1920 and that process was it's not just that you were starting to work out but you're also learning how to cook food you're also learning to measure food you're also learning to you know not eat at party like those are all skills you know and I prior to this I was in Fitness and Nutrition so I could tell you all those things are skills not taking food when people ask not finishing food on your plate skill counting your calories a skill knowing that there's calories in soda skill these are all like it sounds crazy but they really are remembering to weigh yourself every day is a skill measuring yourself with tape is a skill they're all skills and so I actually think that that translated a lot when we came to business because it felt like this insurmountable task um that was very hard and it was a very steep learning curve but once you get over the hump it feels inevitable that that the outcome is going to happen because it starts to snowball and I think business is the same way but a lot of people can't get past I think the first year or two years of the learning curve they just quit they say it's not working for me you know I've been working my ass off for a year go another year you know I think that a lot of people don't realize that they're accumulating maybe in that first year they've accumulated two skills but they need two more to be able to get what they want and they just they just aren't willing to wait it out and so then they they go and try something else or they go and work on something else but but they don't realize that they just what they actually have to work on is expanding their capacity for work more than anything I'm going to have to come back to that at the end for the the business because uh I think we have just used work ethic to get to where we are and it's like I know obviously like you're on this insane level with teaching higher level people um but I I think that that start section you you guys had to do that at the start like you had to go from work ethic to structure and all these other things and it EV and flows yeah it depends on the season you're in so yeah I'd love to talk about that but the one thing that comes to my mind 10000 weight loss Journey one time it was the mo one of the most embarrassing there was two two kind of stories that happened to me at a very similar time period of my life I'd put on a lot of weight after my son had died and uh unhealthy habits I was over1 pound overweight and um I was walking down the streets and i' I'd bought like a a carrier bag of fries like in it's chips in the UK and i' I'd smelt them while I started walking home like a fat person would and someone screamed out the car you fat bastard to me and I was I was biger at the time as well and it I was really like taken back and then I went home looked in the mirror I was like flipping heck you're massive right now and then and then there was another story a week or so after where a friend's mom who hadn't seen me for years was the same thing she said Jordan what happened to you and you had this like story this pivotal moment um where you was at a party and a similar thing happened but you took it as a positive and you managed again it was like [ __ ] you guys like I'll show you guys did did that last you know that the yeah and that was it from that point on can we hear about the story yeah and just sort of what was going through your head when it happened yeah so when I was I want to say I was 19 I was really overweight I think at that point i' gained gained like 80 something pounds it was to the point where it's like I can't even find a picture because I completely avoided a camera like there one it's just my head and it's pretty bad but that's it um and I remember I was at it was the weekend of my friend's birthday and she said she wanted to have a party and she was going to invite a bunch of people from high school and immediately I just felt like a complete sense of anxiety wash over me because I thought oh my gosh I looked so much better then you know but I've like spiraled into gaining all of this weight and I felt like oh gosh I really hope I don't run into anybody and so the weekend comes and you know it's the start of the party I think we're pregaming whatever people are coming in nobody's saying anything right and it's like this big for me it felt like an elephant in the room like hi I haven't seen you since I gained 80 lbs right like I am aware of this and nobody was saying anything it was all going as planned like it it felt fine and then it was probably close to the end of the night and I went to go to the bathroom and I walked through the hallway and there was this guy that I've been friends with in high school who was there and I saw him and I was like oh hey and he was like Hey and he was like man such a shame and I was like what and I just like in that moment knew he was going to say something and he said he's like dang he's like it was so crude um but it was like it's really just a shame cuz like you used to be so hot but you're just so fat and I was like wow and in that moment all I felt was like white hot like your eyes see red you know like white hot rage and funny enough it was not at him at all it was completely at myself because my first thought after he said it was I agree you're right I would and it was like I couldn't even be mad at the guy because I'm like what are you doing stating the facts like I'm aware as well and I left early and I went home and I just felt so compelled to do something I remember I got on Facebook cuz Facebook was cool at the time and I made a post that was like I'm done I'm I'm done partying you're not going to see me I have to go work on some things like I'm out it was just this ominous very vague post and that was the day I woke up the next morning and I threw out all the food in my house that was junk I literally drove to Planet Fitness joined Planet Fitness gym and then I said I'm done drinking it was like in that instant I made this decision where I thought to myself it just felt like it was a deviation from the path I was on being that overweight and in that moment I felt like am I going to let this get worse you know is am I going to show up up 2 years from now at a party what what am I going to be 400 lb because like if we continue to go down this path at the rate I've gained waight that's what would happen and that thought when I had that where I was like what if I were to show up in that many years and what's stopping me from that Why Stop Now you keep gaining weight what's going to stop and I just thought it was so unacceptable of a thought to me I was like that cannot be my future it was so terrifying that I I felt like I had to mediately change in that moment and that's been something that's served me so much throughout my life which is like there are times when incremental change makes sense and then there are times when there's so much inertia in One Direction the wrong direction that I think you need to just completely put a stop to it and in that moment that was one of those I was like we need to go snowball in the other direction and so instead of like let me just slowly make life I was like screw it everything goes out the window today new ilila I am no longer who I was I am now this new person you eat well you don't hang out with people who drink all the time you don't do drugs all the time and you work out and it was really hard and terrifying because I had not been out of shape before but going into a gym being overweight was so hard for me like walking in there feeling like everyone was staring at me feeling like I was out of shape you know saying no to all the social things I'd been going to drinking at it was really hard for me I didn't know how to say no to people and say like that's not what's best for me right now and then basically I I ended up actually moving out of the house I was in because I lived with uh five six other roommates in a house and I felt like that environment is not one that is conducive with the future that I want and I don't think staying here is going to help me reach my goals and so I moved out and the last I think year and a half that I was in college I lived by myself which is like unheard of you know especially for a woman um but I just didn't know another way that I could like called turkey stop I needed to change my environment you've got these moments in your life where you've had like these inflection points where you've had big changes I think you've referred to them before as like rock bottom and I think with there's a there's a story of your six arrest what I would love to maybe talk about like maybe the first arrest like what was one of those moments like like was that a moment where you realized it was getting it was too much or was that did did they just sort of happen as they came along you know it's funny because I don't think that the first even three or four times that I got arrested I didn't think it was a big deal and I think that a lot of people would assume that I would have but one context of like the town I was in lots of people got arrested it wasn't like a novel thing the people I hung out with got arrested wasn't a novel thing some of them had been to jail or prison so it wasn't weird based on the people I hung out with and then I think even further to that point I had no I I think there's this shift that happens when you're in your early 20s and I can't I don't know anything about the science of it but all I know is that until a certain point in my life I felt Invincible I felt like I could do things I could drive drunk I could drink I could act all sorts of ways and I wouldn't have to bear the consequences that others would and I think that I know that there's um a saying in the Army where they say it's like the best friend syndrome or something to that degree I would have to look it up and basically what it is is that they ask everyone that joins the Army are you afraid of dying and they say no I'm not afraid of dying but I'm worried Jimmy my best friend's going to die well interview all the people that come to the Army literally everyone's worried about their friend and not themselves and what are the stats some of them are going to die and I think that the same went for me at that point in my life which was like oh I understand where this is going but that won't be me I'm not going to be one of those people I'm not actually going to end up getting put in jail I'm not actually going to end up drinking myself to death I'm not actually going to end up with any of those things and it wasn't until my dad on my sixth arrest I woke up at my parents house house and my father was waiting downstairs for me which was like the worst one of the most sickening moments of my life to wake up there where I didn't live have a ticket next to me of my arrest and then have to walk downstairs to confront them it was just like opening the door to walk down was like I can still feel how I felt in that moment it was awful and I remember thinking that he was going to like come down on me tell me how awful I am he doesn't want to talk to me again whatever and I was prepared for that but what I wasn't prepared for was that I walked down and he was sitting on the couch with my stepmother and he looked at me and he just looked sad and he said I'm not going to try and control you I'm not going to try and threaten you I'm not going to try and do anything I just want to let you know that I am worried if you continue to do this that you're going to kill yourself and it was like in that moment the fact that he thought that that that would happen to me it was just baffling and that was what in my mind that was the thing that made me like I I can't do this anymore I can't drink my father is like the the nicest person he came here from Iran he started this family he's only done everything to try and make my life better he tried to get me out of my mom's house like everything that he's done for me he's been a fantastic father and to feel like I put him in a situation where he's worried I'm going to kill myself and I respect my dad's opinion it was the moment that I was like I can't do this anymore like I can't drink like this I can't keep getting arrested like I can't keep [ __ ] around and the weird thing is that I think during the time I was I knew that wouldn't be the rest of my life I was like I know me I'm not going to keep doing this forever but I think that you know a lot of people say that to themselves and then they end up 20 years later they're still saying I'll turn it around in a day or two and I realize that that's a really poisonous thing to think is like you you think oh I'm going to eventually do it it's like why isn't eventually just today if you're going to do it eventually you might as well do it now take away where you are now and if you delivered me a story before your dad said that you know giving the history of your family six arrests like what the story ends differently like without your dad coming in is saying that like I think you're right like I'll do it tomorrow I'll do it tomorrow I'll do it tomorrow kick it down at the can far enough down the road and yeah it does maybe end where your dad said it would like do you think that could have been a reality for me it's if you didn't have a role model like your father like what what did the situation look like I think my dad has been the anchor for me many times in my life after I moved out of my mom's house I moved in with my dad and I was very angry like I think very angry and I don't think that's like a an emotion that I think a lot of girls get sad but I was angry and like raging at all points in times at everybody and my dad was so empathetic and so patient with me and he was I in many ways I think he was the reason I was able to stop acting that way because it was like no matter what he didn't let me skip any commitments I had he was like you're still going to do all these things doesn't matter what's going on with your mother it doesn't matter how you feel it doesn't matter all this like you've got to stick with your commitments So to that degree I think he anchored me a lot at that age and then I think as I got older you know when I was spiraling drinking all the time and doing drugs having him say that again it's not like it was something I didn't know but I think sometimes having somebody from the outside say it is much more powerful especially in those moments where you're convincing yourself otherwise and I think that that's what my dad has done for me so many times in my life is he's kind of pulled it he has just provided me with a mirror at which to accurately see myself and you know I don't know if anyone else would have done that because I think that what I was doing was not abnormal for the people around me but it was for him and I think that that's why I'm so grateful for him because my whole life he's been that he's just been the anchor I think there's been so much fluctuation life changes so much there's all these things even my dad you know one day he won't be here but while he is he is a complete rock for me and I think he's also inspired me to do that for other people if you're enjoying this interview with Lea hosi please consider heading over to Mulligan brothers.com who is today's sponsor where you can get buy one get one free across all the t-shirts on the website and also the momentum or poster and the not Journal are heavily discounted with the link in the description use code sale at checkout for the buy 1 get one free offer let's dive back into the video is there a particular moment or story that would encapsulate or describe your dad to to somebody else yeah I don't even know why I'm crying but um I remember when I moved out of my mom's house and in with my dad I was so anxious and I was so um scared mad whatever I felt so weird because I I moved in with him he was now married and then they had her kids in the house and then it was just me and I felt so out of place like I felt like I left my mom's house which wasn't safe and such but I at least felt like that was my home I grew up in it was people I knew I moved with my dad and I felt so much unfamiliarity you know I hadn't been as close with him growing up as I had been with my mother so it felt weird at first you know he wasn't at that point I would have considered my dad The Rock I do now it became that after I moved in with him but I remember I told him I didn't feel like it felt like home and I would like lay awake at night feeling like this isn't my house I feel scared I feel uncomfortable and I remember one day I came home and my dad had had been looking and I think we were at a store and I saw this furniture set and it was you have to think I'm 15 a girl at the time it had this beautiful white crested vanity and bed and dresser and it was so beautiful and I remember I was like oh my gosh this is so pretty it's so beautiful but it was so expensive you know and I wasn't thinking I would ever get furnisher anyways we always had hand me- down stuff we never got like new stuff and I remember I came home one day and I walked into my room and it was all the furniture i' see at the store and my dad looked at me and he was like you know you you deserve everything like I want you to feel comfortable here I want you to feel safe and at home and I remember thinking to myself like I just don't deserve you as a father because I was so angry and it's so funny because I broke down in tears because I felt so undeserving of that furniture I couldn't even fathom that my dad spent that much money on it for me who was acting like a complete [ __ ] but that's who he is he's the guy that shows up when you're acting like a complete [ __ ] and he's there to be like but you're not like this isn't who you are and you're going to get back on track and he's unwavering in that instance like no matter how I'm feeling my dad doesn't change how he shows up and I think that that's why I consider him to be a rock and that's what I think that I have been able to emulate for others which is like no matter how angry somebody is no matter how sad they are no matter how depressed no I won't waver and therefore they can rely on me because how they feel isn't going to change how I show up and I think that was like best gift he could have given me cuz to this day he does that that's so wonderful as well because what your dad did has impacted thousands and thousands of people through yourself as well and this is like everything that we do we genuinely like push this message of inspire change and it's through action you know it's through action and and and actually doing something like what your father did you know of course he's going to be there for you such a wonderful moment as well but him doing that and installing that in you has sort of installed the same belief system for for you to be there for other people and it's had such an impact and it's so it spreads so much I think it's so important that PE people don't realize that you don't have to have a million followers on Instagram to really impact the world or change somebody's life like it happens as everybody like everybody is a part of that I think it's so beautiful and that brings me on to like a lot of obviously you're you're in the business World um and I think there's a quote that you said about it's not about the money the money just allows me to impact more people people is that where this comes from then I think it does come a lot from him I think that I grew up with my father telling me you know nothing is worth doing things you don't enjoy no amount of money and you know part of me believed him part of me didn't part of me was like I'll find out for myself um but no I I didn't actually um in the sense of everything I pursued up until I met Alex was only to learn and to figure out what I really wanted to do and how I could help people and it wasn't until I met Alex that I feel like it's almost like the bridging of him and my father um having both of their perspectives has given me mine which was my dad always said Follow Your Passion do what you love do what you can to help other people and I would do that at the sacrifice of myself and so I think that was where that went wrong was that I wasn't taking care of myself I wasn't you know giving myself the oxygen mask first and then I met Alex and he said why on Earth can you not have both why can't you do things you love and have passion over and also make money and that was such it sounds so simple but it was such a frame shift for me and I was like I don't know I guess I can he's like yeah I don't think it's an either or and I don't think he knows how much that impacted me it was like our second date that we had because I was telling him everything I was doing at the time um and I think my goal since then has been like how can can everything be a win-win how can the business that I create be a win for me in making money me and impacting other people my employees in the job that they have that they get to enjoy and the partners that we work with in the relationship that we provide and the community that we affect and I think that that's been what my frame shift has been is just if you don't know how it can s how how a situation or a business can give you all of the things then you're thinking creatively enough you haven't beat the idea up enough because if you beat it up enough you will think of a business that can make a lot of money impact a lot of people inspire a lot of change and help all these other people too and I think that that's what I have realized is just I wasn't creative enough at the time I didn't know what my options were I didn't even know some of the things that existed and so my frame of reference is very small now my frame of reference is much bigger and I do believe completely because I think I'm living it that you can do all of it yeah and I think um the it is a resource as well money as a resource is is powerful like it is there's no denying that you do need it to have you don't need it but it's a massive ingredient I think to be able to impact more people um I don't I don't want to keep diving into deep stories you've been so gracious with sharing but I I'm interested to hear maybe something you haven't shared with anyone before like a story that would sort of encapsulate who Alex was and that would describe him to somebody else through something that he's done or some sort of action that he's done for you I can give you two different stories to show you the two sides I think the first story um on our second date Alex said can you come over and I'll barbecue and you know we'll make some Stakes we'll do whatever all this stuff and so um I said sure So I came to his house and I said you know where's the Steak he's like oh we'll go get them together I like okay amazing we go to the grocery store he's like you go get the all these things and I'll grab this thing whatever it was and we split up and then we grab the food and then we go back we get back to his place and I say okay so are you cooking the steaks and he's like oh no I don't know how and I said what he's like well you know I meant like come over but he's like but do you know how to cook steaks and I was like well do you know how to cook potatoes he was like no I was like do you have a barbecue he's like no I was like oh my God so then I'm trying to figure out I'm like wait okay there's barbecues outside at the pool of the place you live and he's like oh yeah great amazing let's do that then and it turned from he invited me over to cook me this dinner to we go to the grocery store we get them and then I cook the dinner right and I thought it was so funny because as much as some people might think like ridiculous it was like my first lesson in learning because the whole time I'm cooking anything preparing he's like oh you're really good at this you're you're really great at this good job you're doing amazing and Alex has this way of when he doesn't want to do something encouraging somebody else to get the thing done which I didn't think I don't think I really nailed down until a few years into our relationship at the same time um you know I think that's the Alex that a lot of people see especially on social media you know that's probably the dynamic we kind of play around like that um I think Alex will do anything to ensure that I feel good and what I mean by that is it's not always what's easy but he will do what makes the most sense so in the beginning when we started gym launch it was like we were doing everything together and we met with somebody who said Lea we we wrote all the functions of the business on a whiteboard and then they said they circled marketing and they said said this is Alex and then they had all these other functions and they said this is Leila I've never done any of them before you know the only thing I actually knew how to do at that point was cell and I was like and they were like and you don't help her and in that moment I was like what he doesn't help me I have so much more and it was so funny because what that guy told us and what Alex really respected was he said Alex Lea is just as able as you to do these things in business if ever try to help her too much then she won't believe in herself and you're going to rob her of that and he really in the hardest times when I might be complaining when I might be saying I don't know how to do this I can't figure this out Alex is like all he ever did was encourage me he was like yes you can you can figure this out you don't need me and I think that if people see him and they hear how often that man tells me that on a weekly basis you don't need me you can do this it is the most powering thing that I could ask for because I think I see so many men want to be needed by the woman and therefore they [ __ ] her of her ability to do it on her own and the he has done the complete opposite which is all he's ever done is Speak Life into me and tell me why I'm so good I don't need him you're better than me one day I won't even be making content cuz you'll be making it like who does that but he does and I don't know if without his constant encouragement if I could even show up the way I do today because I think he in so many ways helped me go from a much more insecure very very hardworking very sincere very humble but very insecure girl when I met him to a very confident woman because he in those moments when I feel like I can't keep going feel like I can't do something I can't figure it out all he does is sell me on myself and why I can he doesn't come in and try to save the day and it's the biggest gift that he could ever give me because he could save the day you know Alex is complete I would say like he's got a lot of Firepower and a lot of horsepower and especially in the beginning he had had four and a half five more years in business than me so he also had more experience but he still let me figure it out on my own and I think that's why things are able to work between us because that's all I've ever wanted is somebody who can make me better you know and not use my moments of weakness as an advantage for themselves and he's truly done that yeah I think a lot of people look to you guys as like this amazing couple who managed to support each other in both ways um is is the there there's a time I think you you spoke about this where you was I don't know if you was in a board you was maybe a function and you realized that people were speaking to Alex more and that you felt that you you were maybe in the corner a little bit but there was a lot of people would say oh he's this alpha male type who's sort of overbearing in the conversation but you didn't take it like that you took it in a completely different way there's been a lot of instances where I've been surrounded by people who have told me why in the beginning of our relationship why maybe it was going to be very hard for me to achieve my goals being with Alex and they always said he's too loud he's too overbearing he's too big of a character you're never going to be able to become the person that you want to become being with him he's going to stifle you he's going to suppress you and it felt very one I felt very violated for people to be speaking that upon me about my relationship when I didn't ask for it um but the second was when I looked at them and the fact that they were saying that I thought to myself what a victim mindset you know here's this very powerful very smart very very hardworking man who's doing his damn best and he's shining should you do you think I should tell him to be quiet to shine less so that I can feel better and I remember there was this moment it was like a couple years into our relationship when it was like suddenly I realized that in the moments when people were listening to Alex in the moments when people were saying oh this must be tough since you know he's getting all the credit for these things those were all opportunities for me to look at him and say what is he doing that I am not doing that if I did I would get the same right and it's often the way he presents himself the way he speaks on things the amount that he might prepare for things and I think that that is lost on a lot of people when they see somebody who has so much power they just think I want them to have less so that I can feel like I have more and I have found no growth in that I have only found growth in saying how [ __ ] lucky am I that I'm married to somebody like that who I can first SE learn from and I've learned more from him than anybody else in my entire life and I think we've been able to do that for each other which is I know that there's there's a lot of ways in which being married to each other benefits each of us and I think it takes time to figure out what that is but for me that's been what it is is that I have always aired towards the side of insecure and quiet and marrying out I've been able to find my voice and be much louder and I think that's helped me in a lot of ways especially in leadership and I'm grateful for that you know there's never a moment now that I've ever thought to myself like oh I wish that these things wouldn't happen because all it tells me is I still have room to go you know there's still room for me to go uh I have a lot of room to develop in these areas and it's just a journey I love that I need to just to fill in the story could you take us from the gap between between um doing doing the sales for the personal training and and the gym all the way up until now I guess like or maybe not to now but like through acquisition. comom and gym launch and all that kind of stuff like a a snippet story so I can like dice between it so after I um you know I started doing personal training because after I lost the weight and I stopped drinking I said I need to go be around people who are wanting more and I felt like growing up in Portage like it's not a bound town or anything but if I want to make it as easy as possible for me to achieve my goals is this the place I should be and the answer is no I would go somewhere like California if I wanted to achieve my goals and so that's what I did I packed up I had a Prius I packed up my Prius and I went on craigslist found a place rented the place and drove there uh it was I don't even actually I want to say it's the day after I graduated college I think it was the the day after my last class cuz I didn't even walk my graduation I was like I'm [ __ ] out of here drove to California when I got there I said I'm just going to find a job within walking distance so I literally walked to every gym within walking reasonable like 3540 minutes and I applied at all of them and I said I will work at one of these and at that point I didn't know what I wanted to do but all I knew was I want to have some kind of business in Fitness I don't know what it is I also know that don't have the skills right now to start a business so I'm going to go acquire those skills by working at different jobs and I said I'll start as a personal trainer maybe I'll work my way up eventually be a manager marketing whatever and so started as a personal trainer at 24-Hour Fitness then once I'd been there for a little over a year I said this is not for me because it's it's literally all sales and then when you're not selling you're training the clients you've sold um I took many of those clients and went to to a small boutique gym and the reason I went there is that I wanted to learn from the owner because I'd heard a few things that one he was very very good at uh sales and marketing two he was a very good leader I was like oh well here I've been able to learn sales but I haven't been able to learn marketing or leadership not really in fact they even offered me a management position at 24-hour fitness and I said no way I don't I don't want to do that the thought of managing people at that time in my life was like uh which is crazy to think now so ended up going to this Boutique gym and then when I was there I started at the same time that I was at that Boutique Gym training clients online Facebook ads Instagram ads were starting to work for Fitness you started seeing people pop up that were doing online training and so I started taking on some online clients using like Instagram I was at this place where I had discussion with the guy who owned the gym about like would I send it to manager would I be running the gym what would it look like and part of me was thinking like maybe I should just start my own and on the other side I actually was approached by somebody online who said let's go 50/50 and do an online business and this person already had a successful one on her own and so I was at this point where I felt like what path do I want to take and I wasn't sure which one would get me to my goal faster and then I met Alex on Bumble and on our first date I told him about this klle whatever you want to call it uh this decision that I had to make and he was like oh you should do neither of those things I was like what would I do instead he was like you should work for me and I was like what I was like okay this is weird we're on a date like why are you telling me I to work for you and he said because you'll learn more skills and you'll make more money than either of those options and I remember being like why is this guy doing this right now like we barely know I've SP like three words you're talking the whole time you know like I'm like what's going on on and it's funny because you know we ended up going on dates every day we H out every day for 3 weeks and I told him to stop asking me for the first couple weeks I said this is just weird like I just want to date like let's just whatever and about 3 weeks in Alex said I he said you know I have this idea for this company called gym launch do you want to do it with me I was like no I'm doing my own stuff right now and I still don't know you very well he said okay well I'm going to go proof concept for this business so I'm going to fly out to this guy's gym and I'm going to be gone for like a couple weeks and I was like okay and he was like can you like watch my gyms in house and I was like okay and so I remember I stayed at his house at that time um and I went to his gyms and would like pick up the cash and deposit in the bank and like I just did stuff for him while he was gone I remember thinking like I don't even know why you trust me to like take out all the money this is odd we've only known each other 3 weeks but he said he was like I know that you wouldn't steal and I was like well I wouldn't so you're not wrong um and he left he was gone for 3 weeks he was basically trying out this concept of gym launch where we would sell people into these gyms and we would do the marketing we would do the sales so it's like we would market for a gym fly out to the gym sit there at their front desk do all the sales for the members and then they would have the members to keep and we would give the owner percentage of the sales but we would take most of it so he did that for 3 weeks and he would call me every night and he'd be like I remember it was FaceTime but it would be pitch black because he was like in the dark just so tired because he'd been there from 6:00 a.m. to usually like 8:30 or 9:00 p.m. and then you just do it again right and he would just be like I went 6 for six today I went 10 for 10 today like every day it was like a sales update almost and then we talk about like well what could you do to get more people and we kind of like pingpong on like how you could get a better show rate of people how you could close more people like all these different things about the pitch and the script and all that and it was kind of fun and then I remember he was like I'm coming back can you pick me up from the airport so I picked him up from the airport and we went back to his house and he pulled out a stack of contracts and it was like this thick and I was like what's this he's like these are all the contracts from all the people I signed up for all the gyms and I was like you haven't put them in the system what is this like 1990 he's like oh no usually somebody else does that and I was like oh God he's like if you can help me then we can go on a date after and I was like G so I remember we sat down he like poured me a drink which I still at this point hadn't drank much before meeting him so it was still a lot for me and we started processing contracts he taught me how to use the CRM system and at the end of it we looked at like the grand total it was something like $120,000 and in that moment I was like this works he was like yeah and I my second question I was like like is it legal and he was like yes and I was like I don't know it feels illegal for some reason and I said you know what I'll do it and I think my my mentality at that point in time was like what do I have to lose I'm 23 22 23 and worst case scenario I pick up back where I'm at right now which is like I go back to a gym I pick up I tell my old clients I'm coming back and I just do that and then I go into one of the businesses I was thinking about but this sounded like too much of an adventure to say no to and so I had a weak gap between me uh quitting the gym I was at and telling all my clients I was leaving them and then I flew out 5 days later to Baltimore Maryland to launch the first gym with Alex and that was the start of what has now become gym launch was there any in the the the proof of of concept you think to get you on board like from Alex's half like to to prove to you and put those contracts in front of you and say to get you on board on the team what I knew was this which is that the entire way that I had been acquiring clients was old phone lists from gyms going to like Whole Foods uh approaching people that are on elliptical at Big Box gyms like complete like cold outbound and it was very hard and took a long time to do and when Alex showed me that he could generate business for gyms using Facebook and then a list just appeared of leads I was like holy crap it takes me weeks to get 20 leads you can get them in a day with like it's like 50 cents a lead and that was the biggest thing that I I knew there was something to it because I had witnessed how hard it was for all the gyms I'd gone to all the gym owners I knew all the ones I'd worked at to get leads so the fact that he could do that easily that was the one piece that told me like we've got something here that nobody else has and so it made sense to me I was like if we can actually pull this off and figure out a way that this business can work this can really have legs because nobody's doing this right now and what it was was that gyms had not learned how to use digital advertising yet gyms were still doing the old methods it was right when social media was becoming a method for now some Industries get on it earlier but gyms brick-and mortar gym owners they are not typically very techsavvy they're not first forward with social media and so it wasn't something that they had gotten into and so it wasn't until I think honestly gym launched that the industry completely changed I I used to own a small women's gym and um we used to do leaflets like thousands of leaflets and and then one day we was like let's just run Facebook ads and like specific demographics and it was like changed everything over night it was unbelievable um I'm the I'm super curious those three weeks when you met Alex you must have been like what the [ __ ] who is this guy you know when I first met him I remember our first date we met for froo he wasn't overly enthusiastic like he barely even smiled at first which come to find out it's cuz I have a giant backt and he saw it and was like judging and we had froo and then I realized very quickly he was just hungry because he started smiling and then the rest of the date was talking about business for like 4 hours and not like any other date I'd been on but the most fun one that I had been on because that was all I had been thinking about like for the prior year and a half I was just like heads down focused like all I want to do is focus on my career and everything else will follow I couldn't even at that point I remember thinking I'm not planning to get married until I'm like 28 or 2930 at this point I'm 22 23 I'm not looking for my next husband you know what I mean and so when I met him I just remember think thinking man even if it doesn't work out with us I would love to just be friends with this guy because he's so interesting and I feel like when I was talking to him it felt like we were on the same I I want to say like wavelength but like we saw reality the same way and I didn't feel that way with anybody else I'd gone on dates with I felt like especially probably given the area I was in it felt like they wanted me to be a more watered down version of myself and Alex didn't give me that impr at all um he gave me the opposite which was like you know from the beginning I think the second day you know questioning what I wanted to do and saying why couldn't you do more than that why don't you have bigger vision for where you want to go and I think he really in the beginning changed a lot of my perspective about myself very quickly and made me realize that there's a lot of bigger opportunities that I could pursue and I think I realized I needed to be around people like that more you know I think that he just thinks really big and he always has and at that point in my life I think I was pretty insecure and so I it's almost like I might be thinking it but I didn't want to say it because I felt embarrassed like I have no evidence to support that these Big Dreams could be reality he didn't care he would say it anyways and I think that was really compelling to me because it felt like we complimented each other very well there's something you said before about a about small businesses and sometimes you think it's more difficult to run a small business than it is a big business um was obviously you had that encouragement from Alex where it was like to think big is there do you do you think there is truth in that in that you know people could dream a lot bigger than they are and Achieve those things as well I think it is just as hard to start a small business as a big business um as it is a big business because there are advantages and disadvantages on both sides and I think that for example the the biggest thing for me is you know when we decide to build acquisition.

1:17:06comom the main thing I was thinking is I need to be able to build a vision so big that everybody else's Visions for themselves can fit inside of it and that's how you can really get people to get on board with your vision I think a lot of people start off with a vision and it's very hard to get people to work for them because their vision is just enough for them there's no room for expansion and there's no room for expansion barely beyond their Vision but not even for the people within the organization and so it's really hard to get people on a bandwagon when your vision is so limiting and so for me like acquisition. comom has been so so much easier than gym launch and mind you when we very first started acquisition. comom there wasn't some Big Brand um but because the vision is so much bigger that we can recruit people and into the vision and into the company that their Visions can fit within ours and the limiter that it felt like we had at gym launch was we had a vision for the industry but at the same time it was limited by gyms you know that was our clientele and so beyond gyms we couldn't go into like a greater vision and so it felt at times very limiting because you know people would pursue opportunities where they could see more runway for themselves within the organization compared to ours rightfully so when you talk about company size like let's let's take uh giml for example the moment of sale like what was that moment like the and I mean for some people those numbers are mind-blowing but I'm just curious as to what that meant to to you and Alex at the time I think selling a business more of of the emotional up and down comes before the moment itself was very unfulfilling it was just me and Alex sitting alone in a hotel room when it happened um because you don't know when it's going to happen you can Target a date but you might be anywhere when it happens and we just happen to be on the last day of a vacation um in Mexico because we had actually planned the vacation to be after the sale but the sale went too long and so we were there through the last few weeks of the sale which was very stressful so I think all the times leading up to it in all the micro decisions signing contracts making decisions telling different people on our team it was going to happen those were harder for me than the actual moment and I think in the moment I was like we did it you know we we did what we said we were going to do like prove a point that we could sell this we could build a sellable company and show other people it's possible and I felt excited because I knew what we were going to do next which was acquisition. but at the same time and I think this was probably more how Alex felt in the moment I'm not going to speak for him but I'm just guessing I just remember he didn't talk for like three hours you know we went to breakfast and we just didn't speak he was just quiet and I was like what's wrong I'm like hoping he's not like I regret that you know um he's like I don't know and I think somewhat of the feeling was that what a lot of people don't know is that about 19 months prior to that we met with some of the biggest PE firms that existed and we had the company valued and they said that right now you could sell the company for 150 million but if you just wait a year and you add in this technology that you're building right now you could sell it for 350 500 million so to sell the business for 50 million when your expectation and that you know you could have sold it 19 months earlier for 150 but then Co hit so when they told us to wait and to build this thing and we listened and I remember thinking all my friends have said you can always sell uh you can never sell too early but you can sell too late but it felt still pretty early so I was like ah it feels too early you know I don't think a lot of people understand that it was disheartening because we were going through the process of prepping the company to S sell and then Co hit and the company took a huge haircut you know like cut our eida in half not to mention now you're in an industry that nobody wants to buy anything in but we had already gotten so excited about starting acquisition.

1:21:43comom that we were like I don't want to keep doing this but it also feels like holy crap are we going to leave that much money on the table but then there's the other thought well what's going to happen is it really going to go back to where it was and so I think there's a lot of conflict throughout the entire process because I felt very like a sense of I definitely felt angry at times because I felt like God I'm ignorant and that's why we didn't sell earlier if I had known like there's so many outside forces waiting to kill your business you know Co was one that obviously affected us greatly and you know obviously I'm like dang would have been would have been cooler to sell it for 150 million um and obviously the business is worth a lot more today than we sold it for um so I think that's why like when we the sale was done it felt relieving because we had for so long had this vision of acquisition. comom that we wanted to pursue and we weren't able to because we were like well if the company doesn't sell what if we have two businesses that's not acceptable so it felt beleving at the same time I think we both thought many times until like many times in the beginning we're like was that the right move you know like was that the right decision to make and it was because it gave us a lot of the skills and the knowledge that we have now that allows us to do a lot of things in acquisition. comom but at the same time if I went back with the skills I have now I would have never sold the company I'm going to take it back in into of a I can see why it was frustrating you know massively but also just talking from the young woman who was selling Planet Fitness when was there a part of her looking at 50 million hit in an account and going what the [ __ ] like was there any of that did you did you think about just going you know what we can just be out here like we could you know we can just chill we've got money for the rest of our lives if we want to yeah it sounds very depressing like if we were to sell the business and then just put it into real estate or into the S&P or like you know treasuries or whatever you can get we could have gotten great Returns on that and that is definitely a possibility but then what do we do you know like really what do I do until I die but most people are like oh go to the restaurant go on holidays you know yeah what what what what is that you know during the sale process we had very little ability to do anything in the business because we had put you know CEO in place and at the same time we couldn't build something new so we did a lot of traveling seeing friends eating out and it was nice at times but it didn't feel satisfying and I think there's like a false sense of comfort found in living a life of luxury and comfort um and I just don't I just don't want that for myself I think I'm really grateful that we had that time before the sale to kind of do that on a micro scale because I see a lot of people who sell their company and they get really weird you know um like they stop whatever they had that built that company it it leaves them and I think one it didn't feel like a big enough win for that to leave me I know that sounds crazy um but two I'm happier when I'm in motion when I'm striving for something when I'm doing something when I'm trying to achieve a goal and you know I think at the end of the day it's like living a life just like being relaxed and not striving for anything and not trying to improve myself does not make a lot of the hard times worth it and I think building something really epic and cool that can make the world better does so this one I'm I'm asking for advice for maybe quite a few of our viewers um especially have uh businesses they're entrepreneurs and all that kind of stuff uh but also personally as well um if you were to take a business from a a small business you know and I'm guessing the ones you acquire like well first of all let me just hit like in a business that quite on the on the smaller scale what does that look like smaller side I would say you know they maybe five six million in Revenue how would you take something like that to like what what what is your intention to take something like a five or $6 million do business to I don't know where it would be it really depends on the industry so every industry there are different size you know there are either smaller or bigger businesses in different Industries because of market caps and so if the business is in um let's think of an example one so say we have I'm going to give you a few examples of businesses um we have one business that we start off with and it is a book publishing business and we look at that business and we say it's a good business there's good returns but what could we do to make this a more exciting business or even you know increase the market cap well we could turn it into technology business so we could take the the way that we teach people to publish books and we could build it into technology that makes for a more sellable business uh a more scalable business and it creates a business that has a much larger Tam than just a publishing business and so that's an example of one that we've done with one of the companies in the portfolio you know another business that we um from the beginning uh they were called enchanted fairies and we met them and they had a photograph studio and then they were teaching people how to start photography studios to have them like theirs but their photography studio was so wildly successful we said why wouldn't you just open up a bunch of photography studios and they were like well how do you do that you know because then you have to grow a big organization but higher Enterprise Value more sellable more impactful right and so that business has now turned into a chain of almost 40 photography studios where we do children's photography um and so I think a lot of looking at business is trying to figure out like given the resources of the entrepreneur and the opportunity first off you have to ask yourself is this the best vehicle to be in given the resources and the opportunity and so the first thing we do is determine like do we need to change Vehicles you know book publishing versus technology you know uh selling people on how to do photography versus opening up a large scale chain that's the first thing that you have to look at and I think a lot of people that we meet with they don't have the perspective to even know what vehicles are are available to them and so we tell them what there is we say these are the things that exist you know do you think one of these would be more suitable for your skill set and the goals you have because a lot of people that come to us they want to build a huge durable business that they can one day sell for hundreds of millions of dollars I'm like well it's either going to be easy in the beginning and harder later on or it is harder in the beginning and easier later on and that's what it tends to be is that people pick the vehicle that is easiest to start in the beginning seldom is that the vehicle that gets you to that crazy good sale you know it wasn't for gym launch we had to completely change the business to get it to a place where um you know is valued at 150 million and seldom is it for most businesses so I think you have to ask yourself like where do you want the hard in the beginning or at the end and a lot of people say I'd like it easier in the beginning so they pick a vehicle that makes it easy but we come in and usually what we do from the ge-o is determine like do we need a different vehicle because if the goal is sell for 200 million sell for 300 million this is going to be very hard to get there it'll be easy until we get to 10 million or 20 million or 30 million and then it's going to be really hard and I think that is a lot of what it is is determining that piece combined with do we have the people that can execute on that vehicle do we have the people that can drive it all the way to 200 million do we have the structure and do we have the skill and that's why not just looking at businesses but looking at the founders that run those businesses is so incredibly important because often times one of the biggest reasons people can't build their business to to the height that they would like to is simply because of who they are they are not of good great enough character or skill that they cannot attract anybody with greater character or skill so it's like when I think of how do I attract better talent I think of how do I become better talent and a lot of people don't see that I see it because I could tell you we recruit for leadership on all of our portfolio companies the ones where the founders have the least skill and experience and character are the hardest to get people to work for them and therefore it's very hard to build the business because you don't get the best people and if you don't have the best people it's much harder to make anything come to life one of the things I I would have L too cuz I know you've had to deal with a lot of conflict online and you've been super open and honest about so many aspects of of your life that I think has combed that fantastically but when it does come through the the conflict or as a lot of people would call it hate how have you dealt with that and has it has it been impactful on your life yeah I think it was very hard for me in the beginning to deal with negativity online because I think it never comes in the ways that you expect it like you expect people will say one thing about you but then it's almost like whatever blind spots you have about yourself that maybe you didn't notice or you didn't think were bad or didn't think were weird people exposed you to them in the comments right and so then you you're like oh my gosh I didn't think that was weird number one thing for me my voice everyone always is tearing apart are you a smoker are you a [ __ ] are you uh what's the third one smoker [ __ ] are on steroids and I'm like how could anyone ever think that and for the first I want to say year that I made content it was hard for me I was like you know first I took the like I'm going to read all the comments every time and just like take it to the gut you know and I'm going to get stronger if I read them and you know that sometimes was really tough when like you know a Tik Tok video would hit off and and there would be like a thousand comments saying like are you on steroids are you a train are you a smoker and I was like wow like nobody even listens to the content and it wasn't until I had a conversation with Alex where I said like I hate that this bothers me it doesn't change what I'm doing I continue to make the content I'm contining to do everything I'm doing but I am bothered by this and he said well does part of you think it's true and I was like like is what true he's like do you think your voice is weird and I was like well it is kind of weird like I it's deep it's always been deep and raspy and he's like so then why do you blame them for thinking this and I was like I don't and it was like in that moment I was like I agree with you it does sound that way I do sound like I'm on steroids or a [ __ ] or smoker and you know what that's my voice and it is what it is and I think it's funny because I remember that moment and from that point on I see the comments and I don't it's so seldom ever bugs me ever anymore it's like I agree I have a weird voice own it just own your [ __ ] and anytime I see anyone say anything about just anything negative in the comments of of course people at times are going to think um you know because I'm married to Alex maybe it's like oh she's just riding his coattails or you know I got my nose done and they're like oh she's very insecure about all her looks like of course the things that I'm putting out there would make people think that I don't blame them for thinking those things can I understand why people comment those things no but I'm also glad I don't have their life and it is what it is so I think for me a lot of the times that I see people really struggling with the hate they get online it's because in some way they agree with it and it is f [ __ ] true my voice is deep and weird okay so this is I'd love to like we'll round it off on this um I have one more question after this but this is the theme I think of your life almost is just ultimate ownership like how important is it to just have ownership over everything I think it has brought me a sense of freedom because when you blame other people you steal yourself you rob yourself of the opportunity to do anything about the situation you know and so is it somebody else's fault maybe is it still your problem to deal with yes and so you know is it my fault my voice is so low I don't know do I still get to deal with it yes um I think I've just thought that you know is it my fault that my mother became an alcoholic and left me for days at a time no is it my problem to deal with yes I just like seldom are the people who are the cause of our problems also the ones to fix them it's us and I just feel like a lot of time is wasted trying to figure out who we need to blame rather than just getting to the solution and I don't know about you but I would rather spend a lot more time solving problems than dwelling in them that's one of the most powerful things I've heard on ever for an interview like I really love that the yeah I mean as a 10-year-old to accept that as well is [ __ ] mind-blowing um thank you so much for today the the the thing I usually sort of ask people as a lot of people love to try and understand somebody's life is like what does a daily routine look like for you and I know you're are you still doing the health and fitness and still working out every single day I mean yeah how does that line up your day how do you work a day um you're CEO of a huge company like what does it look like you know what's funny is my days never look the same because some some weeks I'm talking to every CEO of every portfolio company and they all have [ __ ] burning and they need to talk and they need to have conversations some weeks I'm doing an event and three podcasts and I'm doing a ton of content and so it's filming almost every day and then some weeks I'm just focused on the strategy and building our business and our our holdco and maybe hiring and onboarding you know this week for example I'm onboarding a new CFO that's the big Focus I'm also dealing with the you know second order consequences of having done a big book launch that we just did neither of those things occur are going to occur really ever again for years right and so I think that's actually what I love about what I do is that it changes every day the way I approach my days is I have things I do every day I walk with Alex every day we try to have a meal together every day I work out every day I you know send thank yous and appreciation notes to my team every day I check my inboxes every day I work on projects every day when when I do those things changes based on everything else that's going on and so I don't try to be rigid in terms of like what do I do in the morning and at night and at this time and this time I try to say like I look at my calendar and say like where can I fit this in and that is what works for me you know I think that when I've tried to be rigid in the past about how my routine looks and how my schedule looks it ends up in me being much more stressed but if I approach it with how can I be flexible and still get everything done I feel much more relieved at the end of the day I love that I'm going but I have to follow up with one more is how do you is that a skill that you learn to be able to move between things cuz I struggle so I have to be focused on one task and to move to another feels so difficult for me I think it takes practice so in the beginning to go from a one-on-one with the team to a very serious talk with a portfolio CEO to doing content basically what I see it is is that it's the switching of hats because the truth is is that how we behave in front of how you talk to me how you talk to her how you talk to your mom at home whatever different you act a little bit differently and I think that in the beginning that's very fatiguing for people to be able to have the context of a situation and show up a little bit differently based on what's needed of you at the time I just think most people then say I need to be able to only do this thing because otherwise I'm not good at it but I said like my job is to be able to do all these things so what I need to get really good is switching knowing what hat I'm wearing and that I don't have to feel like excited to do the next thing I don't have to feel like making content I don't have to feel like talking to the CEO but I can behave in a way that gets me the outcome I want and that has worked really well for me is like just knowing that it's all just Behavior it's not how I feel so even though I might not feel like switching between things I still can thank you so much for that thank you for today um where can people find you like where would you like send somebody for like the best resources on yourself I think that my podcast build on Spotify iTunes is just build with Lea horos I think that that's some of my best content and it's my fastest growing platform um and then second to that is YouTube um I think both of those are longer form um so if somebody's trying to learn how to build a business how to build up people how to be a leader or a great CEO those are probably the first two spots I would start thank you so much for today that's fantastic thank you so much to Lea for doing this with us we flew out to Vegas to be able to film this and it was only made possible by the kindness of ilila and her team and also you guys everyone who supported us at ms.com that's why we're having an end of summer sale where it's buy one get one free across all of the t-shirts and the not Journal is heavily discounted and the momentum or poster is heavily discounted use code sale at checkout for buy 1 get one free the link is in the description this conversation with Lea has me thinking about that concept of thinking small and running a small business is the same as thinking big and running a big business it's just about the mindset and the and the shift in mindset that you need to have so thank you so much dea it's been absolutely wonderful we will be back in Vegas to hopefully speak with Lea again in the future have a blessed and productive day and I'll see you in the next one peace …