How to get someone to behave differently.

0:00There was a guy on my team. We were getting complaints that he was acting like a dick. He had talked to three of the leaders in my company who had had one-on-ones with him and said, "Hey man, stop being a dick." He continued to be a dick. They said, "Alex, you need to talk to him." I said, "Sure." And so, when I sat down with him, I said, "Hey, I don't really care what you do. My goal here is to decrease the likelihood that people complain about you. They keep saying that you're acting like a dick." He's like, "Yeah, I know. I'm working on it." I was like, "No, it's fine. I don't care. What are the actions that you take that increase the likelihood they call you a dick? Number one is that you interrupt them on meetings. Number two is that you say that you know their department better than them." I have my list of things. I was like, "So, don't do those four things and do this instead. So, when this circumstance occurs, do this action instead of this action." And in the next week, everyone's like, "Oh my god, it was like night and day." And the thing is is that you can't look at someone and say, "Don't be a dick. Be charismatic." No, what how do I do that? You have to tell them granularly what to do instead.