Why I Stopped Trying to Outearn My Father

0:00I didn't care about your opinion 5 years ago when I left. And I was like, and I don't care now. And he was like, well, we'll see how long your success lasts. And so, what could have been a really nice exchange ended up becoming pretty pretty ugly. But the the main point there was that I wanted to in the beginning like make as much as my father, then it was make more than my father, and then it was make more than my father had ever made in his entire life. And once I had achieved that, I realized that as much as like it sounds terrible to say this, but like I was trying to beat him at his game.

0:30And and this is pretty alive in a lot of c a lot of Asian culture, same thing. Making money is a big, you know, like when my dad would introduce somebody, he'd be like, "This is so and so. He makes this much a year." Like it was just really clear like this is how much status someone has. And so like it was really deep for me. Um, but it was only when I realized that I had won at his game that I realized I never even asked the question of like what game am I trying to win. And I don't know how many people are actually trying to win at a game that they didn't even set the rules up for.

0:58>> So many >> when they're in it. And that's why I say like I think I was fortunate that I, you know, I hit a a really tough goal cuz my dad was is is a successful man um relatively early on. Um, but that that exchange and then think like and then reflecting back and feeling terrible about myself from like saying what I said and then I was like I'm I did everything that I've done to this point to beat him, beat my father, the man who actually raised me, who tried to make me the best man I can. And when I think when I really start thinking about it, I'm like, I like who I am.

1:31He raised me. So, doesn't that mean that he might have been the perfect father? And then that really messes with me. [laughter] And so, yeah. So, go ahead. >> Well, it's just it's hard to think that the people you used to have contempt for or distaste or hatred or whatever shaped you in a way that you couldn't have been. And I often think about how the things I'm most proud of in myself are the light side of something that I was so embarrassed about, so ashamed about. Um, you know, being an outcast as a kid meant that uh I love or I'm capable of being on my own way beyond how anybody else is.

2:12>> Yeah. >> So far beyond it. I I can work on my own in solitude for an endless amount of time. I I can outwork anybody in solitude. Why? because I spent almost all of my time between the ages of six and 16 in my bedroom listening to audio tapes, right? Listening to audio books and like throwing like a tennis ball against the wall or like playing with my like >> [ __ ] Mighty Mouse from Mars or whatever they were called. What was it called? Bike of ice from Mars. That was it. Um and that was what I did.

2:44>> Yeah. So, but I all of that discomfort and all of the challenges that I went through there are the thing one of the things that I'm so proud of myself for now. Okay. So, what if I look back and I said, "Well, all of the the …