Alex Hormozi Explains How to be Both Successful AND Happy

0:00Success is a strange thing. Presumably, we want success because we think a more successful life will bring us more happiness, meaning, and fulfillment. Here's the problem. We sacrifice the thing we want, happiness, for the thing which is supposed to get it, success. Failure can make you miserable, but I'm not sure that success will make you happy. >> I mean, I think this is a actually a game theory thing. Um and you're familiar Okay. So, I can I can I can go on and I can not if you want. Okay.

0:24Yeah, so I mean, Simon Sinek popularized this, but you have finite and infinite games. Sorry, finite games where you have known known players, agreed upon rules, um and an outcome that that wins the game, right? Uh and then infinite game, you have known and unknown players, no rules, and the point of the game is to keep the game going. And what happens is that people apply finite rules to infinite games, and then they wonder why it's not working.

0:49>> What's an example? >> So, a finite game would be like baseball. You know the players. W- At the end of the game, the person you tally up the ones with the most runs, and you win. And there's You can't You can't run You can't hold the ball and run it around the bases. Like, there's rules of play. With an infinite game, the Vietnam War is an a simple example that Simon Sinek gives, which is basically the US lost the Vietnam War because they were they were applying a finite structure, which is we're going to win this war, and the Vietnamese people were were playing an infinite game structure, which is we're going to stay alive and keep fighting. And as long as someone is staying alive and keeping fighting, they will beat the person who's trying to end something.

1:25And so, the infinite frame always conquers the finite. And the thing is is that most of the games worth playing are infinite. And so, if you were trying to get in shape, you don't win getting in shape. The point is to stay in shape for the rest of your life. You don't win at marriage. The point is to stay married. You don't win at business. The point is to stay in business and keep doing business. So, the point of the game is to keep playing. I think if if the success and I would imagine success, if you put all of those things together, it's an infinite game. And so, the point of success is to do the things that make you successful. And so, if you're doing the things that are making you successful, then you are by definition winning. And I think that for me, redefining what is a perfect day and living as many of those days in a row as I possibly can, to me, that's winning. And I and I obviously have a relatively contrary worldview, but what which is that like when we die, nothing happens and you know, we know what it was like to die because we've all been dead before, which is when we were before we were alive.

2:18Um but I don't think that what I will do will ultimately matter in 500 million years. And so, that kind of eliminates a lot of the pressure for me around like the external outcome. Sure, I'm human, there are definitely motivators, but if I can just over time chip away at how much that weighs on the scale, and I can keep putting more and more coins on the other side, >> [cough] >> towards the infinite game of like the point of the game is to keep playing. And like there are some things that I remind myself over and over again. It's just like the point of the game is to keep playing. That's the point. That is the point. It's to just keep playing.

2:49>> The point of the game is to keep playing. I very much like that. What was that you found out um the three trait the three most common traits of highly successful people? Do you remember those? >> Yeah, it was um It's it's so funny. A superiority complex. So, the three most common traits of hyper-successful people that they looked at. And it was interesting cuz there's the influencer world wants to be like, you have to wake up at 5:00 or you have to do cold plunges or whatever the [ __ ] right? But the thing that that but there was actually very few that they all had in common. So, number one was that they had a superiority complex. They thought they were better than other people and that they deserved more.

3:23The second is that they suffered from a massive insecurity and feeling that they would never be enough. And third, they had impulse control. And so, you've got this combination of people who are like, I want to do this big thing. So, this big toward thing. And they've got this big away pain that's like, I'm never going to be enough. I always have to do more. And then they have impulse control that keeps them focused on the goal. Without seeing the woman in the red dress or getting pursued by her. And that like So, it's like shoot high, have a big thing that that motivate like have a big tiger behind you, and stay on the path.

3:53>> Have you ever heard uh Jordan Peterson talk about that study of starving rats in a tube with a spring attached to their tail? >> No. >> [ __ ] brilliant. This is This is what you're talking about. So, starving rats are placed into a tube. >> Yeah. >> And they have a spring that is attached to the tail that can measure the force that they pull at and that's a proxy for desire. Then they waft the smell of cheese in from the front of the tube and the rat pulls and they measure how hard they want to go. >> And you think these rats are starving, they would be pulling pretty hard. Then they do another iteration of the study.

4:21This time they waft the smell of cheese in from the front, but they waft the smell of a cat in from behind. And the rats [snorts] pull harder. >> Yeah. >> And what's the lesson? That you not only need to run towards something that you want, >> Yeah. >> but you need to run away from something that you fear. >> Yeah. >> Now, the problem and this is I like superiority complex, crippling insecurity, impulse control. I like that. >> The problem is the people who we admire the most due to the most success in the real world don't necessarily have the most admirable internal states. That to me isn't necessarily the most peaceful, blissful way to live your life.

4:55>> Mhm. >> What does it say that especially in the modern world, we revere the people who have external accolades of success >> Mhm. >> and yet the three most common traits of these super successful people lead from a place which is almost objectively >> miserable. >> [snorts] >> unadmirable. [laughter] Yeah. How do we How do we square this circle? >> I think it's just what are we solving for?

5:20So, like I mean a lot of people I loved watching Last Dance which is Michael Jordan's, you know, mini docu-series. Yeah, unbelievable. >> Um I think most people could see him there and be like, I don't know if I really envy this guy's life. Like he still seems like pretty upset despite being a billionaire, despite all the you know, these these other things. And so, I think that if like what are we solving for? Like my my closest friend Dr. Cashy, he has a statement cuz he coached Olympic Olympic teams. He was like, "Champions are broken."

5:49I was like, "Huh?" He's like, "They People look at champions and try and find something that that champion has that they don't have." He's like, "But it's not that at all." He's like, "They lack something everyone else has, which is an off button." They just don't stop. And at the end of the day like if we're if we're optimizing for outcomes, then the most broken person will win. The person who has the absolute biggest, you know, desire for achievement, the absolute biggest fear or pain that they're running away from, and the hardest impulse control. Now, impulse control most people would agree is a good thing. The other two, not as much.

6:21And so what are we optimizing for? What problem are we solving? It's my favorite It's probably the number one most frequently asked question that I ask to our portfolio companies whenever we're about to do anything, which is what problem are we solving? If the problem that we're solving is that I want to be content, well, there's a lot of ways to do that, and you don't need to do all these other things. If the problem you're solving is that you want to be the richest man in the world, well, you're going to have to have a lot of superiority complex, you're going to have a lot of crippling insecurity, and you're going to have a lot of impulse control, and you're going to have to wait a long time.

6:48>> There's a quote from Jason Pargin that says, "Accept that all of your heroes are full of [ __ ] Your heroes aren't gods, they're just regular people who probably got good at one thing by neglecting literally everything else." >> Yeah. I just I agree with the statement. >> [ __ ] money. Um I I It's just so interesting to me. I've been thinking about this to do with Billy McFarland. >> Let me Let me just get this in. >> Hit it. >> And that's okay. Because if they wanted that, then that's the problem that they're solving for.

7:15Like I get criticized all the time for work-life balance. People are like, "Well, you don't have any hobbies, Alex, and you don't whatever." Right? And I'm like, "I don't [ __ ] want any." So, why do I have to sacrifice things that I would prefer to do to do things I don't want to do to satisfy your objective measure of what you deem as work-life balance? Why? >> So, that's what what This is what you were talking about. Was it optimize for the outcome? What's the metric of success?

7:41Yeah, you were saying like what what is it that people are optimizing for, right? It seems to me that you have stepped back and decided axiomatically this is the thing that I'm optimizing for. >> That I enjoy most doing. >> Yes. >> That's I enjoy playing the game. And so everything I do is about the game. >> Yes. >> My podcast is called The Game. I draw pictures all day about business. I write books about business. I make content about business. I spend the rest of my time >> never seen a picture from

8:07>> 100 million offers. Zillion pictures in there. >> Oh, are they done by you? >> 100% all of the pictures drawings are mine. And 100 million leads is like 100 doodles in it. >> It doesn't it? Are they any good? Are they nice? >> I think so. >> Have they got Yeah, they cute? Have they got little animals in? They don't have animals in I'm not I'm not I'm not going to look at them. >> Oh, there's there's little bag of money, big bag of money. Like that's how >> Nice. >> Dead serious. >> Sweet. >> but like and and I spend the rest of my day doing business. >> Yeah. >> And so it's like why don't you garden? Cuz I don't care.

8:33>> Here's the Here's the other thing, right? I I always talk about this. Steffi Graf, um they one of the greatest female tennis players of all time, and she gets tested when she's 10 years old, 11 years old, and she's in some tennis academy. And they gauge the players on two criteria. They gauge them on desire to train uh and skill set. >> All right. >> And she was 10 out of 10 on both. So, okay, not only has she got the raw materials to make a phenomenal tennis player, but she'll outwork you and to her it won't even feel like work. That's [ __ ] terrifying. And that's why I do think for the people that look at yourself and say uh Alex is on a a road to burn out, it's because you are using your theory of mind about how you would feel if you had to work as much as you do. But okay, what is the thing that you can do longer than anybody else and to them it looks like work and to you it looks like play or feels like play. What would that be?

9:24Oh, well, for me it would be uh computer games or knitting or rock music or whatever it is. Okay, so imagine if you just got to do that all day, but instead of it being rock music it was [ __ ] business. >> Yeah. >> Uh someone commented the other day, um was it you're sprinting on a treadmill? They were concerned that the pace that the show is going out at was going to cause me to burn out. And in retrospect, I'm you know, in 5 years time I might go, "Fuck yeah, I was moving too quick." But I don't think I don't think that. Like I work at the pace that I like to work at. And I also like to see where those limits are. And that's exciting to me to go, "Okay, just how much harder can I go here?" And then again, you've got to temper it with that's burnout. Like that's just the beginning of it. You only know that after you've burned out like 30 times.

10:08Uh but that's it's try to say after Atomic Habits by James Clear, right? But the intersection of like what you love to do, what you're good at, and what you can be paid for is like slap-bang in the middle of it. >> Slaves worked all the hours they were awake for their entire lives. In American history, in Egyptian history, in the rest of the world that had slaves, which is most of the world at some some given point.

10:35I think like if they can do it, so can I. Now you're like, well, did they have a happy existence? Well, they didn't get to pick the work they did, but it means that you can work. That's if you have the cat behind you, you can work every hour of the day. I'm like, well, if you get to have the cheese and you get to eat the cheese the whole way you're going, then I mean, there's the famous quote, you know, the person who the person who loves walking walks further than the person who loves the destination, right? And so like I think it's the same thing. But the

11:04>> [gasps] >> Everyone so many people want to project their idea of of what they think your life should be like onto you. And it's just completely irrelevant. It just doesn't matter. Like if all I did if I if I weren't married, right? Cuz people are like, "Okay, well, he is married." And like I am in shape, but I also just like working out. But if I didn't have either of those things and all I did was work all day, more people would talk about the work-life balance thing for me than they currently do.

11:31And who cares? I just like I just I fundamentally like you are going to die and you're not going to matter and I'm going to die and I'm not going to matter. So, why do I care about what you're going to say when you're not even going to my funeral? Who gives a [ __ ] If you like this video and you're business owner who wants to break through your current revenue ceiling, I distilled every lesson from scaling 10 businesses past 10 million and three businesses past 100 million into a completely free scaling road map that I've used to go from zero to one, zero to 10, and zero to 100 plus. And so, you can click here and you can check it out.

12:09Again, absolutely free and since you're business owner, appreciate you and enjoy.