Gedanken klarer ausdrücken als die meisten

0:01Yeah. So like empathy for example, it's a great one. And so you say, "I need you to be more empathetic." Most people do not know what that means. >> It's like how how do I exhibit empathy? How can I look at a human being and say empathy occurred? >> Recap. >> Yeah, it' be it'd be a component of it. >> Now, if somebody only recapped, you'd probably be like, "You sound like a [ __ ] robot." >> So what else? So it's like this is like So what else is there? What else? So is it maybe it's like maybe you also nod while they're talking. That's another component of it. Um maybe you just say like I feel I'm sorry that it felt that way. Then maybe they have like at least twice you acknowledge how they felt during a situation or you asked about their feeling and then maybe just asking about their feeling. People then describe that person as sympathetic. I don't know. I'm not described as sympathetic. [laughter] That's that has not been my that has not been my hat my strong suit. But but to be fair, like the the reason I found so much interest in this is because uh a lot of human behavior confused me for a really long time and I just always felt like people were saying things and I was just like I just don't know what they mean. Like in my in my recent Tony thing, I was just like what is going is like I need to go out of your head into your heart. I was like I don't know what that means.

1:15>> What does it mean? >> Super helpful when you stop and you say it's a behavior. >> Everything's behavior. >> It's learnable. >> Yeah. >> Like everybody needs to hear that. like [laughter] no this is learnable reproducible this is a process >> yeah a baby does not know how to lead right and then everything from there is learned and so it's just that people have a trouble with quote soft skills because they don't have hard definitions not that they cannot be defined they are just harder to define because there are more behaviors that are associated with success and so hard skills are actually easy to define because success has fewer criteria criteria

2:00>> [snorts] >> No, it's it's real. I mean, like what makes a leader? >> There's behaviors for sure. >> Really think about learning that set of behaviors, skills, you can build. >> Yeah. The skill is an adaptive chain of behaviors. That's it. [laughter] It's all it is. It just it demystified the world for me and that's why I'm so passionate about and probably it's it's so embedded in everything that I talk about. It was just like I have this worldview I apply it to business and that's what like if you had the most consolidated version like what is Hermosi content? It is a first principles approach from behavior to explain phenomena as it relates to business. But I think I I I'm I'm so passionate about that because like that's that is what made it's it's what's made everything understandable.

2:46So like, and it also maybe the signal to noise ratio in terms of understanding and learning from other people. You can quickly see the vast majority of people have no idea what they're talking about. Like most people just repeat the same phrases they hear from other people that they got reinforced for saying, so they nod their heads because the people said great job when they said it, but like they don't know anything. And so there are a few people who have like first party data. They did a thing. They don't know how to describe it, but somebody who understands behavior can ask enough questions to know to to tease out what things that person did that created the outcome. So like a lot of great sales guys don't know how to teach sales,

3:23>> but they know how to sell well. And so somebody who can observe well can instead of saying like, "Oh, this guy was building rapport." It's like, what the [ __ ] does that mean, right? It's like, okay, so he asked questions about the other person and then said, "We are similar." Okay, great. That's what rapport is. Like then we can just get rid of rapport. It's to say, "Hey, ask more questions." And then ask questions until you find an answer that you think is similar to you and then and then link it.

3:49And then once you do that, ask if they're ready to begin, [laughter] right? And same thing with tone. Like I had I I used to blow up my sales guys because they're like, "Dude, empathetic tone." I was like, "What the [ __ ] does that mean?" >> So then it was like, "Okay, what can you do with your voice?" It's like, "You can go louder, you can go softer, you can go faster, you can go slower." Of course, you have speed, you have how how loud you speak, you have when you pause. There's not that many things.

4:13So, when you then you can actually tell someone like [ __ ] like you know empathetic tone just like lower your voice when you're talking to them. Oh, great. Or just have variety in it. So, it's like you sound like a robot. It's like you sound like a robot because you're reading the script. If you memorize the script, you'll naturally take pauses. And it doesn't actually matter where you pause and go up and down. just that you pause and go up and down so it sounds like you're talking.

4:41Just stuff like that. [laughter] I could talk about this all day. Yeah.