Stoisch reagieren auf Hass und Kritik

0:00The only insults that hurt are the ones we believe. Next time someone insults you, remember they're going to die. Everyone will forget about them. And if no one will remember them, then you might as well forget about them now. They are irrelevant. Your dream, your actions, your outcomes. So now you know what the inside of my head looks like. Um >> [laughter]

0:22>> Um I mean I I uh I put almost everything immediately to death. Um and that's like maybe it's a coping mechanism, maybe it's perspective mechanism. Um But like is you want to hear I I was really strongly considering having a parody um tweet profile of my own that I also run that no one would know that I run that is just like all my very very controversial beliefs.

0:47Um but I'll I'll I'll throw a taster out now. Um Murder is just picking when someone dies. So it's like if you hate someone, it's like you can just look at them be like, "Oh, you're going to die eventually." >> [laughter] >> But like and so like the idea is like in your mind you could murder every enemy you have. You just just don't get to pick the time.

1:11But I just find that so it's such a like murder only changes when, not that someone's going to die. And so if you think about like retribution on someone it's like this person said this thing to me, uh I want to kill them. It's like, "Oh no, you don't even have to. They'll die. They're going to die already. Like you don't even have to like don't worry about it. They're going to die." And so it sounds so silly, but just connecting those two dots I was like, "Wow, that's incredibly peace-giving." >> [laughter] >> So like why have a vendetta when life will take care of them for me? Uh and so I just like, you know, as a as a as a totally different frame, I was talking to somebody who has cancer uh in my life. And uh they were like really concerned. They're like, "This has a only has a 95% mortality rate over the next 5 years." And um you know, me being me, I was like, "Well, you know, 70-year-olds probably have a 60% mortality rate over the next years anyways. I was like, "And life is a 100% mortality rate." So, you know, "Worse, yes, but like how much worse?"

2:04And so, like um they didn't think it was funny. But >> [laughter] >> But just as a as a It It was intended to be comforting. It didn't succeed. Um but uh all that to say uh these these things that people cast on us um it's just whispers in the wind, right? Like if we think that our whole meaning is is so infinitesimal, the idea that someone else can influence our trajectory when they themselves will disappear and become irrelevant, seems so silly to me.

2:37>> And they don't have our best interest at heart. No. >> They have the opposite of our best interest. >> literally trying to destroy you. What about the only insults that hurt are the ones we believe? What about that? Oh, yeah. Um well, I cuz I like other people get offended with things. And then I've also had times where someone says something with the intention to insult and it doesn't. And I was like, "How can I get that to happen every time?" And so, it's the classic example of, you know, Chris, you have green hair. And then you would say, "Okay, whatever. Sure." But you don't believe it, so it doesn't really matter.

3:10And so, I think there's there's a there's kind of a dual-sided like lesson at least for me in this is that when we are insulted, I try and pay attention to it because I think, "Okay, either there's something here that they're right about and that I don't like about myself." In which case, the response is to agree. And that's what's so frightening. And so, it's like if someone So, recently had someone someone made some thing blasting me about um I don't go home for the holidays. I made this whole I made this video about it.

3:40Um and in the first 5 seconds of the video, of course, I'm like, "If you love your family, [ __ ] go home." This is not This is for everybody else, right? But of course, no one actually watches that who makes that piece of content. And so, they just went on this tirade about me, and I just said God, I suck. Period. As my comment. And cuz there's no the the the the stoic response to hate is to agree and one-up. So, level one is agree. So, someone says, "Alex, you're a [ __ ] idiot."

4:07And you're like, "Believe me, if you knew half of it, you'd think more than that." Cuz it's the only way you can respond. And so, my mental judo for these things, and I've just I try to Now, the good news for you and I is that we get lots of practice, right? Every day we have people hating on us. And so, I get to I get to prac- And so, like people people meet you in real life, and they try to insult you. You're like, "Dude, I've so many reps on this." >> [laughter] >> Like, how good. And so, it's just like, can I one-up their insult? Like, if someone insults me, it's like, "Dude, let me Dude, you think that's good? Let me tell you how to really get me." Right? And so, just the frame of agreement evaporates conflict.

4:44Yeah, that's your other thing about um most people are more interested in winning than being right. Yeah. So, you just say "Sure. You're right." Yeah. "Alex, you're an idiot. All of your business advice is terrible." I'd be like, "You're right." Now what? Where do we go from here? Right? Wasn't that fun? >> [laughter] >> And so, we talk like cuz I like I like it human behavior a lot, but it like it's called it's it's a it's a extinguishing event. So, like when you when you when you pull a slot machine, when when null is the outcome, it nullifies. Agreement is the ultimate nullifier for insults.

5:21And I I think that like if I the the faster I I reprogram that. So, it's like if you ever feel insulted, either like first, is it is it true like if you are insulted, you believe them. Okay. Uh do I believe them because there's an element of truth? If there's an element of truth, why am I insulted? I should agree with them. It's just because we have some ego behind it of like I want I'm going to be perceived a certain way. Oh, maybe because it's poking a hole it's wedging into the inauthenticity that someone has brought into the light something which we thought we were able to keep in private.

5:52One of my other life goals is to die with no secrets. Well, just be Cuz if we think about it, at least for me, if I think about authenticity, um to be seen as I truly am, then I would have no secrets. And I try, you know, I try really hard uh to not hold anything back, content or otherwise, um so that I don't need to have I don't want to have 100 faces. Because if you always have something in the back room, then it means that to these people you're this person and this is in the back room. To these people you're this person in the back room.

6:22But, the fewer back rooms I have, the more everyone is in one room and I can be just me. And that means that some people will hate me, um and some people will like me, but they will actually like or hate me, not the idea or some facet, like we were saying earlier, like when you're in a relationship, putting on the act and putting being the performer. They're not hating the idea of me. They actually hate me. And at least there's some weirdness about like, at least that's true. Real quick, if you are a business owner and you are not growing as fast as you'd like, I'd like to give you a free gift. So, my team and I put together the $100 million scaling road map, which is basically 200 hours of us looking over all the portfolio companies we've had and what stages of growth they went through and more importantly, where they got stuck and how they got past it. And so, we broke it in these 10 stages and we made this little kind of quiz thing where if you put in your business information, it'll tell you where you're at and the most important part for you, what to do for each of the functions of the business across product, marketing, sales, customer success, recruiting, IT, human resources, and finance. And so, no matter what you're struggling with, someone else has already struggled with it and solved it. And so, I'd like to give you this thing absolutely free. You can go to acquisition.com/roadmap, plug in your business information, and if you want us to actually help you deconstruct the business and you're trying to scale, we'd love to help you out. On the thank you page, you can just book a call with my team and we will look at the business, see if we can help. And if we can, we'll invite you out to Vegas and we'll do this in person live.