Kein Hass, kein Erfolg: Warum Kritik dazugehört

0:00I was like, I had gone from underdog to the man. And I was like, when does that happen? And the litmus test of when it happens is depends on who the person is. Cuz for the person who was working at my gym who, you know, was was a janitor or a cleaner, it happened really quick, right? For the people who were more successful, uh, it took longer. And then, you know, the only people at the end who would still work for me were the business owners who were doing way better than me, right? Who were still members of my gym. And so that was a really interesting experience that happened when I was 23 and that was the first time I went from underdog to the person that someone would want to attack. But I had a performance coach tell me this. He said hatred isn't isn't something you avoid. He said it is a requisite for success. He said if you get no hate you are not successful.

0:50And for some reason that just like really stuck with me because then it just like rather than it being this thing that I was trying to avoid, it actually became a leading indicator or an indicator that I was on the right path in achieving things. And so I think that's why I mean I I I don't want to I don't want to toot horns or anything. Um but in terms of like my ability to deal with the naysayers and things like that, I feel like I'm pretty good at it. Like it doesn't really bug me very much. Um and I think in large part it was because of how it's framed. at least how you know in this discussion how it was framed for me early on which is that no one hates you from above and even you know even when I think back about like the bullies and whatnot that you had earlier like even in middle school like there were things that I had that were going for me that I couldn't recognize cuz of course everything that comes easy to you are things that they're easy to you so you don't think that they're you know new or interesting or or cool and but like at the same time I was like I'd advanced a grade in multiple in multiple subjects. I had, you know, straight A's. I worked really hard. I was in shape, right? And I but I had these people who would hate. But I I you know, you internalize it. But like now I can look back and be like it's kind of like the the parents were like it's because she's into you, right?

2:07[laughter] No, it might not be the same that way, but but just thinking about it as an indicator that the hate is actually the light that you're on the right path. We spoke about this last time that nothing is going to be worthwhile that doesn't come with an associated amount of discomfort. Therefore, when you start to feel friends around you and the people that you used to be able to speak a common language with start to push back and start to make the quips of, "Oh, not drinking tonight."

2:46Yeah. Oh, you must be too cool for us now. >> I know it hurts. I know it hurts. >> That is the lead indicator, not even the lagging indicator. That is the lead indicator that you are doing the right thing. And a lot of people listen to this podcast. I get messages from people like, "Hey man, I'm a 22-year-old rugby player from the northwest of of the UK. I live in Cumbria. None of my friends uh understand me. I want to do personal growth. I don't want to live in the UK.

3:12Uh and when I listen to Modern Wisdom, I feel less alone." And it [ __ ] it makes me tear up because I'm like, "Fuck." Like, I see me in that person. I see me in that. And the it's so hard to reframe …