Wie Leila Hormozi aufhörte, sich um Meinungen zu sorgen

0:00I have always been a super wife to Alex. And I just never showed it because I thought people would say if you're such a wife to him, you can't be a CEO of the company. You're just a secretary. People were on me and for reasons that like were beyond my understanding. Like obviously there's like you're married for money and Alex is the reason you're successful. And I'm like okay, I figured that one would be there. People like making videos everywhere. You got your nose done. Even if I didn't want to admit it, I think that I was like very much wanting to prove something to like the people that said those things and like thought those things. And so it didn't affect me making content or not, but it was like in the back of my head.

0:29Like I wanted to make sure that I appeared perfect so that there couldn't be any more things that people could like say about me. >> Do you feel like you were pretending to be? >> I would just tell myself like nobody gives a and even if you show up and people hate you, at least they hate you for who you are, not like this shell of a person you were pretending to be. >> Like I see this 10 out of 10 you've done the thing and [music] we see the successes and then we also know on a conscious level there's like a graveyard of lessons and failures. We don't see them, but we actually know because you don't get success [music] without all of that.

0:56>> People have continued to talk the whole way through me making content, and it makes no difference in my life. So, why do I care? >> Welcome to the Jasmine Star Show, a place where we get to talk about life and business. And today, we're going to be doing an intersection with somebody who at a distance fangirling, you know, and then I get to sit across from her in the chair and we're going to be doing something different because we normally talk about marketing, branding, organizational growth, all that good stuff. And today I want to get a sneak behind the curtain. I couldn't be more excited to have her second time on the Jasmine Star Show, Laya Hermosi.

1:28>> Thanks, Jasmine. >> Thank you for being here. Okay, so um I posted on social media a couple days ago about how I was so nervous the last time. I like regretted so much of it and you were so nice and you were like, I was nervous, too. You did not seem nervous whatsoever. >> Um you said I didn't seem nervous, >> but I will say I feel like I'm just vibing different today. And I noticed the same about you.

1:52>> So when you go back to 2023, >> you you walked into like this crazy little studio that I had found and rented. It was janky as all get out. Okay. But hey, like we we just show up. Okay. We just show >> I didn't even know. I need different. >> Um I know. Wait. Okay. Okay. So this is like us like a growing a growing phase. And so I'm now here in your studio. Like if you look back to that version of Ila in 2023, what are you saying to her that year from this vantage point?

2:17>> [sighs] >> Um, [laughter] the first line that pops up is like, "Nobody gives a [ __ ] show. Why should you?" Um, I think, you know, when I first started making content, there was just like a lot of negativity, which I know everyone kind of says, like, "Oh, people are [ __ ] on me." No, it was people were [ __ ] on me. Um, and for reasons that like were beyond my understanding. Like, obviously there's like you're married for money and Alex is the reason you're successful. And I'm like, okay, I figured that one would be there. Then it's like, oh, you got plastic surgery. That was like a huge thing. People like making videos everywhere. You got your nose done. She has a whole new face. Like that was a thing. And then there was your voice, which was one I didn't expect. They're like, "Are you uh, you know, did you tr transition? Are you a smoker? Are you on steroids?" I literally had someone who made a video that was like, "The only reason she's good at business is cuz she takes steroids." And I was like,

3:04>> "Girl, if I was on steroids, you bet [laughter] your ass I would have better legs than this, you know, and shoulders." And so I was like I was so um like even if I didn't want to admit it, I think that I was like very much wanting to prove something to like the people that said those things and like thought those things. And so it didn't affect me making content or not, but it was like >> in the back of my head like I wanted to make sure that I was I appeared perfect so that there couldn't be any more things that people could like say about me if I'm being honest. Like and I think a lot of people like of course that pops up sometimes still for me, but I try so much harder to do things that work against that voice, not towards it. So I think I would just tell myself like nobody gives a [ __ ] And even if you show up and people hate you, at least they hate you for who you are, not like this shell of a person you're pretending to be. Um,

3:53>> do you feel like you were pretending to be? >> I don't think pretending. I think that I was filtering myself a lot more. And I think that I was like a lot more cognizant of how I appeared. I was way more nervous at the same time. So, it's like, you know, I hadn't been on that many podcasts. I hadn't done that much content. So, it was like I was just wasn't used to so many people like watching me and like I felt like I was like a little I said like in the a hamster being watched through like the glass, you know what I mean? And I couldn't focus enough on doing the content to like filter all that out. And so, there's a lot of stuff that made me nervous. And I think also wanting to prove something. So it just felt like

4:29>> it felt hard and it just doesn't feel that way anymore because I think I just don't I've just realized that's just not important to me in life and people have continued to talk [ __ ] the whole way through me making content and it makes no difference in my life. So why do I care? >> So okay. So I want to repeat back what I heard. Just the energy around what you create. Like you've let go of other people's opinions and still continue to do the same thing and you just feel different about what it is you're doing.

4:53>> Yeah. I think it's the realization that um people are going to have an opinion no matter what you say. >> And I actually think that often times when people have an opinion and have a lot to say about somebody, it's probably because that person's being honest. >> And so to me, it's like my number one most important value for me is honesty. And I had to learn that over the last few years. I was like, me being honest is more important to me than anything. >> And if people hate me for being honest and I get talked [ __ ] on more for being honest,

5:21>> at least I'm being honest. >> That's right. >> You know what I mean? That's right. Um, on a recent podcast, I'm going to read a quote of yours. This was a weird year. I honestly think this is the most I have changed as a person in the last decade. My identity has shifted quite a bit. I'm in a place where I have let go of the old and recognize I cannot go back. But I still have yet to understand exactly what the new looks like. It's kind of uncomfortable, but I'm okay with it. I know it's directionally correct and sure what new completely looks like and also excited for the new. So, maybe you guys can relate.

5:51I heard that. I was at the gym and I was like, "Hell yes. [laughter] >> What is the new for you?" I want Okay, so here's the thing for the podcast. Yeah. >> I can talk to you about systems and organization and leadership and I know that I would do a piss poor job to all the hundreds of other podcasts you've done. So, I'm just like I'm going to speak for the people. Like, I don't know about the men, but the ladies in the crowd. We want like the you the you. What are you excited for? Because I think what what I see a lot of is

6:18>> like I see this 10 out of 10. you've you you've you've done the thing and we see the successes and then we also know on a on a conscious level there's like a graveyard of lessons and failures. We don't see them but we actually know because you don't get success without all of that. And yet what we see is like this retrospective of these lessons that you're learning. And what I want to see is like I just think you you look different, you vibrate different. You are emanating this different version of you. And I'm like I get to see her like day one version of Ila look into the future and like call your shot. And I'll be like, I want to know like what is day one? I like let's talk about what you're doing. Let's talk about what you envision. So, why are you so excited for 20 like this upcoming year?

6:58>> Well, I'm excited it's not 2025 anymore. >> Okay. [laughter] Okay. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, I actually want to talk about that, but like there was three big things that I said, you know, on the outside. You guys hire a co-founder Chiron, name him president of acquisition. you have some pretty serious health considerations that when I hear just things on the outside and I know like 0001 I'm like my heart breaks like what in the world Alex does this behemoth of event like over hundred million dollars in a weekend.

7:28>> Yeah. >> Beating Obama and Prince Harry for these book records. >> Yeah. >> And then you get millions of millions of followers amassed over la like Okay. And that happens in 2025 and you're like so glad it's not 2025. And I'm like, well, like, let's like, are you shining a turd? Like, this is incredible. What what what what happened? >> No, it's funny. Um, yeah, it's interesting. I think that it's like I've said this a few times, but um it's like if you want to keep growing, the more you want to grow, the more you're going to be in pain because growth requires letting go of something familiar and grabbing on to something that's new. And whenever something's new, you don't have the skill. Uh it feels uncomfortable. It's unfamiliar.

8:07And it's like everything inside of you wants to grab back to that old thing. And I think that we grew so fast in 2024 and 2025. I mean we're still growing very fast. Um but it really compounded and it like hit a velocity in towards the end of 2024 that um I knew I was like I am about to go into unfamiliar territory like this is beyond what I've managed before. I've not led a company of this I have of this size people not of this size revenue.

8:33Um, and so like going into 2025, I could feel that my energy I was like something needs to shift because I knew I was like, I'm barely able to think straight. I'm white knuckling a lot of things and it doesn't feel like I I don't think I'm going to want to do this for like 10 years if this is the the rate. But at the same time, I knew I was like, I've done this before, rapid growth, really fast growth companies, and it's like you kind of just have to do that for like a year or two to get everyone in place.

8:58And so, um, you know, one of the things that we had looked at early on was, you know, we've been friends with Shiron for like seven years. And so, we've been talking for a while. >> No, you Okay. I listened to one of his older podcasts. Now, you guys met because you reached out to Chiron around real estate investment. >> No, we got connected through um someone connected Alex and Chiron. Alex got off the call and then he's like, "You would love this guy." I was like, "Okay." [laughter] Like, because he's introduced me to so many people that I'm like, "This guy's a [ __ ] piece of shit." Um, and so I was like, "Okay." Okay. So then I get on a call with Shiron next and I was like,

9:28>> but what was the purpose? Just to be like >> just to connect. >> Okay, >> that was it. And then I connected with him and I was like, "Wow, he's grown these two huge companies. He's such but he's such a good person. He loves >> for clarity. For clarity, cuz you know, I like I did my digging." Chiron has scaled two companies past a billion. So when you say he's built big businesses, I'm like, "Yeah, but like big with a capital B." Okay. Okay. Go on. >> B. No. Um, and so that was all stuff that had we started working on in 2024.

9:55Um, and so [clears throat] I knew that he was coming in. It wasn't something I could be public about yet. We'd known for like eight months. Um, I knew we were playing the book launch and we'd been putting so much time and effort into that. And at the same time, um, as these like very good things are happening and we're like quadrupling revenue, >> but he was brought in for what specifically? Like what was like the gap or what was like the ancillary? Did you want him to come alongside of you to help scale because you've not done that or did you want him to lead something else entirely or? Um, I think like the original intention and what it turned into versus what it is going to go back to are different, which is like, you know, the original intention was like to expand. It's like if there's three of us, not two of us, we can grow bigger, better, faster. Um, and we're all aligned on like where we want to go, the mission, the vision, our values. And so, it's just really hard to find that. Um, and Chiron brings like if you look at like our skill sets, they're all different. And so Chiron is very good, like very um deep in a lot of areas that are very valuable like finance, legal, real estate, uh tech, like he just has a very it's complimentary to me and Alex.

10:54So we felt like we all three kind of have like our lane. Um and he has helped us with so much of that with acquisition.com that you know as the opportunity arose and we talked about it, we're like this makes a lot of sense. >> So it wasn't like oh we're best friends and we should just work together. It's like no, there's a clear like if somebody was strong in this that was working with us, this would be very good for the business. >> Now, when he came in, I think it was a different story because >> I'm like, listen, I need to hire like 15 leaders

11:19>> and I have like 15 direct reports right now and I'm really struggling. And so, it's like, okay, first, uh, you know, I had like a whole snafu with like a sea level I had. I had to get that person out. Sean came in, he took over that role. He took over like finance, tech, and legal immediately. um and relieve those from my plate. >> Okay. So, let's pause. So, he comes in, he steps into three roles. How is Leila the person responding to that? Like, how do you feel? What is your thought pattern? What changes? What opens for you? Like, him being there means what for you personally?

11:50>> Well, it would have been really fun, but I found out like two weeks before he was supposed to start that I had to have surgery and I had to do it immediately. And so, um, I had an infection and they had to, uh, essentially like cut it out of my, it's like pelvic region, we'll just say. Um, and it was, you know, very invasive and uncomfortable. And so, I was like, okay. So, I have to go do this whole thing. I can't onboard you or anything.

12:15So, like we literally had seven days and then I was like, I flew out to New York. I had surgery and then I was out for like a month. And so, you know, it was just like it was bind at that point. I he said he actually came in a month early because he originally was going to start a month later to have a break between real and acquisition. And he was like I I told him what was going on. It was like getting really bad. I was in a ton of pain. I was working from the couch every day. And he was like, "You look like shit." Like he saw me. He's like, "Dude, you like you've no you've lost all your fat." I was like, "I know.

12:43I can't eat." And like it was just like a whole thing. And so he came in um and I honestly just think like it was such a I don't whatever but like that was something I did good long ago that he was able to come in at that time and that it didn't happen 6 months earlier because would have been really hard to heal not having somebody with that experience in the company when we're at such an important point in the company.

13:08So when he came in, I think it was, you know, one of the first times that I felt like, and I think, you know, we talked about this, him and I text, if you looked at our text, I would say, "You're my best friend. Love you. So grateful for you. I love you, too. So grateful for you. How's your day going?" Blah, blah. Thinking about you. Hoping this is going well. Like we're just like family. Um, and I told him, I was like, "It's the first time I feel like um I'm I have somebody else that sees everything I see in the business." Because, you know, me and Alex, we're partners, but we do completely opposite things. We have completely different perspectives. and he's always much more external. I'm more internal. So, it's like we don't see the same things as each other. But Chiron came in, he's much more internal with me right now.

13:46And that's been so helpful because as you grow, you need more eyes on things. It's like, you know, if you're leading a team of 50 people and now you're leading a team of 150, those functions all grow, which means like you just you just physically can't oversee them all. So, it was incredibly relieving. And um you know he has gone through times in his career where he had to take a step back and he had people that supported him through it because he had to deal with his own health stuff and he's public about that. And so you know he kind of helped me as a friend just like through the mental part of it of just like how the [ __ ] do I not push for this long?

14:23How do I let myself recover? How do I do all that? And so it was I was very lucky that it happened at the same time. So he was stepping into three main things amongst other things. Three main things. But then you were out recovering. There is a a gap. Did he step in that gap as well? So he effectively became Leila part two in your absence. >> I had strong leaders in the other areas but not in the ones that he stepped into. So he's had to do a tough cleanup.

14:51>> Got it. >> Yeah. Like he had to hire those new leaders. I told these ones are not even right. One of them I had just let go of these other areas over here like >> our advisory practice, our portfolio, our uh ops team like those those were solid. So I had good and still do have great leaders over those functions. So I felt like that was super secure. These functions that were like almost like the guts of the company, the inner workings, I was like these are very fragile. I don't feel good. Like I don't sleep well at night knowing these things. Like there's big problems

15:20>> and we're growing so fast. It's very hard to find somebody that can come in and do that at like fix what happened in the past, reconcile it, build the present and build the future. Like it just so he has made like a heroic effort in acquisition.com and like I just it's we work similarly. So and we also have the same uh flaws in many ways. So it's it's nice to have somebody to work with. >> Oh, that's amazing. So let's go back to when you came back to work and like the recovery process. you've you've said publicly on different podcasts like you go into your pain cave and you were in extreme pain and Alex even talks about like how he was genuinely so worried and how there was like a miscommunication he was talking to like an assistant and the assistant was speaking to somebody at the doctor's office and then she had said oh so the

16:05>> cancer >> yes >> yes >> like so Alex for a second thought that you had cancer and then like what he had to go through and so it's like that's pretty deep and then in in the midst of all of that you're recovering and then you come back and what does that what does that life coming back look like? >> Well, it's not the same as before, >> right? What has changed? >> Because well, I think there's a few things which is like once you go through a period of time where you think that am I going to die? What's wrong with me?

16:32Being in intense pain all the time and honestly not wanting to wake up the next day and still having to show up for your company. Tough. Um and people might hear them be like, "Oh my god, are you okay?" Like, no. [laughter] If you're in pain all the time, like for months on end, and you're not getting answers from doctors because they're incompetent. Yeah, some days you wake up and you're like, I just would rather just keep sleeping today. Like, I don't want to deal with this. Like, it was very hard. It was hard on me. It was hard on my relationship. It was hard on my friendships. It was hard on everyone around me because I was miserable. Um, and I was trying to hide it.

16:58>> You still making content during this time? >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> In fact, my biggest video was made during that time. I remember I was sweating while I was making it. >> What What was the biggest >> How to be dangerously confident. >> I was in so much pain making that video. >> It's got like 7 million views or something. >> I know. And [laughter] how to be so confident. to be dangerously confident when you're dying from the inside out, sweating profusely as you create it. Add a girl. >> Okay. >> But, you know, it's one of those things where it's like I wanted to do as much as I could. Um cuz I didn't want to make myself more depressed than I needed to be. So, I tried to do what I could to like take care of myself.

17:32>> Did you keep the cadence of like your content production >> or did that change? >> We we whittleled it down. So, I started saying I said like I can when before and after my surgery it was like I I can't film. Um, up until then I tried to do more to like catch up, but then I said like, "Hey, I've only got one day a week, if not every other week to give for a little while." >> And so the irony of that is that's when my content started blowing up. >> Why [snorts] do you need that? Why do you [laughter]

17:58>> uh constraints? Um, >> I don't know. You know, I think that the team got better. I think that they learned to work within limited resources. Sometimes I think people make too much content >> and it's like there's too much to sift through. that's a job of its own is even just like which one to edit next. Um, and so I think there was like a lot more quality given to what was there. And I think that at the same time when I was filming, I didn't give a [ __ ] about making content. I was just like, I don't care what people think of me and what I say in this video. And if you don't like this, like I [ __ ] I might die tomorrow. So like, who cares?

18:30>> And that was really when like my mindset shifted and I was just like I >> Why did I even start making content? Cuz like I like helping people. Okay, well then that's all I'm going to try and do right now. I'm just going to focus on like I'm only going to make stuff that I feel like actually helps people. I don't give a [ __ ] if it's trending or this or that. Like I'm just going to only pick stuff that I'm like I have something good to say on this topic and it will actually help somebody and deliver value to their life and it won't confuse them. They can take action based on what I put out there. And so when I started doing that mixed with the team, I think that was when things started clicking. So of course I'm like lying, you know, recovering and everyone's like, "Dude, your your stuff's killing it." And I was like, "What the heck [laughter] is going on?" You know, you're like, "This is the worst I've felt in my life." And so, um, you know, back to your question, I think one is like I just can't, nothing is a bigger priority to me than my health. And I think that I've always taken it for granted because I've always been in fitness. And there's a difference between health and fitness.

19:23And, you know, I've always been like looked healthy, but I think there's a difference between looking healthy, having muscle, being lean, and being healthy. M >> and you know I pushed myself a little too much in 2024 2025 the beginning of and I paid for it you know and I think I was like you're not 20 anymore learned that. Um and I just there's nothing that could happen I think at this point that would make me like put it as a last priority ever again

19:54>> because I don't think I ever didn't prioritize. I was working out. I was sleeping and some people like oh my god I'm probably burned out. I'm like I still slept like seven hours a night. I'm working out. I'm like going on walks. I'm eating healthy. But it's it's more than that. Um I think that when you're pushing yourself so hard, you need more recovery than you think. And I just didn't realize that at the time. And now it's like looking back it's just like there's a lot of stuff that I, you know, I started thinking like I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm not going to be able to do a lot of these things in the future. And so there's a lot that I was like, man, I think I've taken like my body for granted, my health for granted, like my ability to just like not be in pain all day for granted. And I you just see the world differently after that. And you know, I'm really grateful that it wasn't something that was life-threatening. It was just incredibly painful. Um, and you know, I would say if not left unchecked, could be life-threatening, but like still like not something like I had to go through chemo or cancer. So I said, "Listen, I don't need to learn the same lesson twice." like

20:53>> I don't want this to be I don't want it to be something else in the future and I don't want to be one of those people that has to um >> that doesn't like what can I learn from this? And I was like well uh I have to learn new ways to take care of myself. It's like I've learned how to take care of myself but I need to be I actually have to take care of myself more than before because I have more responsibility than ever. >> Oo. Okay. So what does it look like? Like so I sometimes on stories like I saw over the past weekend you went to farmers market sourdough you got some like just it was like trad era I'm like I'm here for it love this content I think you should be posting more of that like you watch like I don't know like Teen Wolf or something in your new house

21:28>> we just finished but >> okay [laughter] but it's like this the small things because it gives insight. So what does taking your care of yourself more look like? Yeah, I I'll say just one note to that which is like I've always been a super wife to Alex and I just never showed it cuz I thought people would say if you're such a wife to him you can't be a CEO of the company you're just a secretary. M. >> So I always hid that because I just didn't want people. >> Did you hear that or was that just somehow like a compilation of things that

21:53>> both I mean even to this day people will come here and will be like does she really run the company? And I'm like what's going on? Anyways and and by the way the company is so big at this point. We all run the company right? We have three of us that run the [ __ ] company. So I just have this position CEO. So my job's a little different. Um, so yeah, it definitely people said that and so I was like, "Oh god, if I'm posting like I'm baking and I'm cooking and I'm doing all this stuff, like they're going to be like, "Oh, you like, you know, so again, remember I used to care more what people thought." So that was one piece of it. I think that the other piece of it, um, you know, with the taking care of myself is it's just a lot more of not allowing other people's priorities to become mine. And

22:36>> so taking care of yourself is not allowing somebody else's priorities to become yours. >> Yeah. I think I care so much about people. I care so much about my team. I care so much about just anybody. It's like I always want to help people. That's like where I thrive. I like helping people. I like helping people grow. I like helping people. But I will overextend the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of myself to do that. And it has helped me in many ways. But what it has done is it made me very strong when I could be making everyone around me just as strong. And so I said, "Okay, instead of me taking all the strength, I need to build strength in others." Well, how do you do that? You prompt them with situations where strength can be built, which means you put them in hard situations. And you give them the direction of what to do.

23:15>> Give us an example. Give us an example. >> Yeah. So, if you know I'm I have a leader in the company and they're struggling with how to manage somebody on their team and they're like, "Hey, like I'm really having trouble here. Like, do you think you could talk to them?" No, I can't talk to them. That's your job. But I can help you in terms of I can help you craft the conversation that you need to have with them. And then if you do it, they're like, "Well, what if I suck? I I'm so nervous." Well, you're gonna suck and then you're going to try again. You're gonna have another conversation. It's not gonna be perfect and I will have done it way better than you. But and so, you know, you get to a point in the company where like I just realized that, you know, I I looked at one point like my job is just to take all the messiest problems, but then you get to a point where like, oh, there's just a lot of messy problems. I actually need to develop other people into being those messy problem solvers, messy people situations, messy legal situations, messy public persona situations, like all that stuff. You need to transfer your judgment to them.

24:05And what I realized is like every day I was just giving people my attention, my brain space, my judgment, and it it got to the point it wasn't scalable anymore. You know, instead of taking an hour a day, it's taking four hours a day, and I already have eight hours booked. That's that's too much. Um, and I didn't think I was doing my best thinking. And so what I look at back now is this is really what happened is I knew I was going to have to make a shift last year.

24:29And the shift was accelerated by the health issues. And now that I look at it and now that I've gone through it, I'm like, it propelled me to make that shift so much faster. I don't think I would have if it hadn't. Now, would I say I'd like to do that again? I don't know. But would I say like I got something good out of it? Yeah. something good came of it because I decided to learn the lesson and to say I don't need like I will allow this to propel me forward. Um and I think again it's like I teach delegation. I can delegate but there's a new level every time and there's a new level that everyone's always hitting.

25:01And you know it was just a a level that I had to get to and say wow I can't me not being in a place of good judgment me not taking care of my health me not taking care of myself actually will make my company worse. And it's actually had always been the opposite. I could sacrifice a lot of time, energy, discretionary, effort to my company and I was able to keep it growing. Said I don't think I'm gonna be able to do that anymore. There's just too much. So you and Alex at two different times um had done it different but similar in that in the beginning it was like force grit the amount like you win by most reps and then you get to a certain point of size of business where it's no longer the grit and the reps. It's more of like how much time can you spend thinking and strategizing. And so I would love to hear what is like the really hyperpersonal side of how do you create that space? Like what are you doing?

25:50What are you guys doing together for that personal space? And then from the business space, what are you doing to stay in that zone of no longer the push, but more of like the strategy? >> Yeah. I mean, I will say this. I don't think it's you no longer push. I think it's you know when to push and when to use >> judgment. Like who is who's a more dangerous opponent? The one who doesn't push at all or the one who only pushes? >> Neither. the one who can do both, but they know when to use each.

26:15>> So, it's like I want to have all the tools and just know when to use them. So, I realized I was like, these tools don't serve me anymore. I'm not going to get rid of them. In fact, I use them. I go to the gym, I'm [ __ ] use it. When I'm, you know, trying to reach a new goal that is in a completely different area, I'm going to use it. But, I need more of this one. This one's not as strong. And so, that was kind of how I looked at it. In terms of like, how do you do that tactically? It's actually very easy. You say no. >> You say no, I can't. No, I can't do that. I can't give you that time. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. I would not like to do that.

26:43That's it. [laughter] Like it's like so simple. But I was like, "Wow, it's just a new level of saying no." There's nothing in my life anymore that I want to say no to. But [snorts] I have things that I would love to do that I have to say no to every day. And I think that's the difference. I used to have plenty of things that people would ask me. I was like, "Fuck, I want to do that." Now it's like pretty much everything that comes to me, I think I could add a ton of value here if I did this. I could help them so much if I coached them on this. I could do so much good if I did this interview. I could do and I'm like this could all be very beneficial and actually a decent amount of leverage and then I have no time for myself. I have no time to invest in my health, my relationship, my growth, having a [ __ ] hour to myself every day. And so,

27:22>> okay, but hold on before we get into the Bristol stuff. SHE'S ON MY PODCAST. SHE AGREED TO BE ON MY PODCAST. I GOT A YES. I gota yes. Okay. Okay. No, that's about me. Enough about me. Um, now we we heard it from the practical sense. you saying no, you uh having like an inbound plethora of opportunities and it becomes difficult. No. Yeah. But what do you do for like taking care of yourself on a personal level like how >> like tactically like what?

27:48>> No, but like get us into your home like in the morning. What do you do that's your Okay, hold actually let's talk about this. Your days you're you're writing a book. >> Okay. I'm super excited. Are you talking about that yet? Like are we talking about I know you're testing like in your um broadcast channel you're testing a few things. I'm in there. I'm watching just watching carefully carefully picking up the crumbs you're putting down. >> Are you talking about that publicly yet? No. >> Yeah. >> What What is What is the book? And then when we look about like this is like a big push for you right now and it's something new for you right now. How are you balancing your health and time? Like what does that look like? Where are you working? What are your days look like?

28:25Where's Laya right now? >> Well, my days are never all the same. So, like today, you know, I wake up, I respond to some memos, I write a memo while I'm walking, I shower, I come here, hair and makeup, I film, I take a few calls, I eat, I film, right? Um, but I think I've gotten a lot better at knowing I would say like it's it's less the days and more of the weeks. So, it's like in terms of

28:51>> my week, I look at it much more as like if I'm looking at my week and I'm feeling like, "Oh my god, that looks awful. I should just change that, right? Like why would I not? I can do whatever I want. >> Well, the story people tell ourselves is like I can't. >> No, because of why? >> Because like a domino effect of everything that happens thereafter. >> And so what? So I can impress people I don't give a [ __ ] about. Like it's like I don't know. I mean I was even contemplating at one point I'm like if I have to do things in a certain way that I think they should be done and I have to do them perfectly then I'm just not going to want to keep doing them. So either I do them the way I want to do them or they're not going to happen.

29:24content, my business, everything. And so, it's just like at some point, I think you have to kind of say I'm I'm at a point in my life where it's like I I don't want to do anything I don't want to do. And it's not because I feel like it's not from a selfish place. It's from a if I'm not doing things I want to do, I don't think I'll keep doing them for a long time. >> And so, what are those things that I want to do for a long time? Um, and I actually enjoy a lot of stuff and I'm like a generally very happy person. So, it's not hard for me. But it's like if I can't get outside and take a walk, if I don't have time to meditate in the morning, if I like I am never the person who's like, I'm going to wake up at 5:00 a.m. I'm going to fly to New York. I'm going to do this. I'm like, that sounds terrible. I'm going to like make a trip of it and like bring my husband and and like have a few days there. Like I I do not like that hustle. Like I actually never was to that degree. Like I'm never the person who's like I'm going to wake up at 4 and go to the thing and back. I was like, "Oh my god, no, that sounds terrible. I need to at least be able to work out and eat." Um, and so I think it's been more of that to a degree, which is like, you know, I wake up and the first thing I do is I meditate and then for 10 minutes minimum, which is easy. 10 minutes minimum is like the easiest thing. I've stuck to it now.

30:33It's been almost 200 days, so that's nice. >> Um, and then I usually read something for 30 to 45 minutes. >> Is this like a business book, a fiction book? Okay. >> Most of the time it's not business. It's like psychology or um just like a perspective on something more like mentality I would say in some way. I don't know but probably more behavioral science. Okay.

30:56>> Um and then after that I will go on a walk and then I'll sometimes work on the walk like take calls etc depending on what they are. Um and then other times I won't and then I will work and that's like how I like to start my days. Um, I would say that I've become non-negotiable around a few things which is like I used to for I mean for like 3 years I mean and this is part of what you know wrecked my health was like I just didn't eat like I just was like I don't have time and then it just

31:27>> whittleled away and things got worse and worse etc. So like now I'm like okay I'm really taking time to do that because >> if I'm not taking care of my body then >> like there's really like I don't care. I I I was also just like, you know, it benefits you as a woman cuz you're like, "Well, then I stay skinny, too." [laughter] Which was like, I used to joke with people all the time, like they knew, like everyone's like, "She eats like a protein bar. That's it." Um, and cuz I was on the go all day, so it's like, "You don't have time to sit down, eat a meal. What are we talking about?" Like, I make myself do that now. So, it's like

31:54>> I'm like, I have going to sit down. I'm not going to rush and inhale something and like actually eat a meal. >> Um, >> I protect my evenings. So, you know, I'm not in my like my team knows they're like, "Dude, after 7:30 like you're gone." It's cuz like I go to bed at 8:30 because I'm tired. And so I'm like I don't want to be on my phone slacking people or in a sauna or anything late at night because I'm trying to get good sleep. Um and you know all this kind of goes back to like on a personal level like right before everything happened with my health. I wanted to have kids and then all this stuff happened. It's pushed it off for me. But in that, you know, one thing I learned was like, you know, the years of dieting and not eating as much and stress, it's like, you know, is that an optimal like, you know, it's like a lot of people are like, and by the way, we don't have fertility issues. So, I will say that.

32:38Um, we had got to a point I said like, I would like to freeze embryos and decide when I want to have the kids, but not worry about the age of the embryos, right? And so, I was going to do I had done IVF 2 years. It's like I want to say like 19 months ago. I was going to do it again. Um cuz it didn't work at all the first time. Um not for either of our reasons, but we used a very shitty doctor. So they just you it's like it's kind of like you left the fridge open for the eggs. Yeah. Kind of like that.

33:07So anyways. >> Oh >> yeah. And then just lost all of my client data. It's interesting. Yeah. >> Wait. So do you talk about that? >> No. And I don't want to. No, I don't want to put anyone on blast. >> No, I'm not that. But like where does that leave you? Like if the refrigerator is left open, like are you starting the process over again? it means that I don't have any. So, I would have to do it all over again. Yeah. Go through the process. So, that was what I was going to do literally the week that everything kind of blew up for me last year, which is crazy. Which is why I'm like, I know it definitely like when your body's under stress cuz I had two lawsuits happen that week. I got sick. I knew I was going to start IVF and I had my team quarterly all in one week and I was like I just I think my my stress was just there's just nothing left in the system.

33:47There's nothing left in the tank to deal with it. Um, but all that to say, like, you know, that is something that's important to me. I don't talk about it a lot, but you know, I can work the rest of my life. I can't have kids the rest of my life. >> So, that's been something that why I've been prioritizing my health, why I have I started eating again, why I'm doing all these things so I can be a vessel for these children. Um, so that I can have the option to have kids. Um, which I'm not really cleared to do that for like three or four more months, but when I am, then that's something that I'd like to do. So, it all kind of ties in with stuff. But does,

34:22>> you know, I think when I was sick during that time, thinking about what if I actually can't have kids after this >> and now I can. It would be a little I I have to have a C-section, but that's okay. Um, I was like, I don't want to. It's like I kind of weighed out. would I regret not having them or having them more? I was like, I don't think I'm gonna regret having kids. So, I would like to do that. >> You're gonna be you're gonna be like an incredible mom. Like, it's insane.

34:50You're gonna be such an incred You're gonna be a better entrepreneur because your kids just you just play you play the game different and it's like you get like super sensei. Okay, but let's back up a little bit. >> Yeah. >> I give you uh a full Saturday. >> Yeah. >> What is your like what's your like I look at my Saturday day and you're like amazing perfect day. What is that day? >> If it was like absolutely anything, there wouldn't be much. It would be coffee with my husband and maybe like we go to like spot nearby and grab croissants or something and then we'd like walk around, do whatever, putter and then I would probably This is I would probably want to go to the gym and just like take my time working out.

35:32>> Do you like working out with Alex or do you like working out? >> Oh god, no. No, no, no. We do not work out the same way. Okay. >> We never have. >> Um but now especially I'm doing all this weird PT [ __ ] So >> Okay. >> So after the puttering, you go on your own to go work out. >> Yeah. And then I I would say I love doing brunch with people like friends. So it's like do brunch with friends and then like go on a hike, go outside, go bike with friends. Like my birthday it was like 3 years ago. Like my perfect birthday. It was literally we woke up, we had coffee, a whole thing. I had a bunch of my friends. We were all rented a house together. Um and then we went to the gym. Then we came back. We had brunch and after that we like sat around for a while while then I was like let's go bike the mountain and we went and biked the mountain. It was we were in Colorado and then we like went back to the house and just like played cards the rest of the night and chilled. And that was like my perfect day. It was like I was like that was the perfect birthday.

36:22That's all I wanted. It's like I love being outside. I love moving. I'm like a very active person. I don't like sitting a lot. I love being with friends. Like so it was fun. And I don't like having like it was it was nice. >> That sounds good. And so when you look at your perfect day, um how often are you getting those days? [snorts] >> Um like >> in in a month or in a quarter? >> Well, it's right now, you know, I just hired gosh, six executives. So I kind of said the months of January and February, I'm going to work more. And then my schedule, like you, if you looked at my calendar, you would see it goes back to having a lot more blocked time. But I was like, I have to set everyone up for success. They're all taking things off my plate. They're all helping grow the business. Um, so I need to I need to push it a little bit so that I can get that time back so I can finish my book, so I can build some of the expansion that we have and still take care of myself. So, um, yeah.

37:16>> So, March is more of like a cleaner, more space. >> Definitely a cleaner month. Yeah, 100%. >> So, let's talk about the book. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Are we talking about what it's about? >> Yeah. I'm not going to go into detail what it's about, but >> you know, >> give me the hook. Give me the sizzle. Like, let's market Yeah, let's market. >> It's so not sexy. Um, >> oh, come on. >> I I literally just was like, I want if there's anything that I were to write a book about cuz I started a different book actually when I was recovering. Um, like what is the most

37:45>> How far? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You don't say I started a book and then I started another book when I was recovering. Like we're not even like 12 months. Like what? Wait. What was that book that you had started? >> That one was [ __ ] your mood, follow the plan. >> Okay. >> Um, and that was going to be a book just about how to change your life. Okay. >> But I there was just something it just wasn't there yet for me. >> Okay.

38:07>> And so I changed and I said I want to write a book on leadership. >> And so really the book that I'm that I have written the first draft is done. Um is it is literally like I will say this I there is not a book that exists that is more tactical of how to be a leader. Like it breaks it down. There's 12 steps. It's a flywheel and it's like you can go from never having even led yourself really to learning how to lead a large organization by reading that book. I feel very confident in saying that. Um and I don't know why anyone's not written the book. So maybe I'll find out when it doesn't do well. [laughter] Uh

38:49>> oh, not at all. >> But I you know I mean I obviously have doubts around it but I feel so proud of it already that I'm like I don't I don't care. Like if I can even just use this with my team and be like this is what we use now to know how to be a leader atacquisition.com. I'd be stoked because >> it's like it's gotten everything from my brain from the last 10 years out and it's like this is all I've thought about for 10 years. How to be a good leader, how to teach people how to be a good leader. Like I see everything through the lens of leadership which I actually think you know I talked to my team about this. I'm like it's actually less prominent in my social media because I in the beginning I would make videos on leadership. They just and so everyone's like you shouldn't talk about that. you should talk more a little about systems, operations, etc. And I was like, okay.

39:27And it did do better. Productivity, how to get more done, how to organize your calendar, but like that's not the stuff that I'm super excited about every day. I'm excited about developing people into leaders so they can accomplish whatever they want to accomplish in their life. And I think right now there's just such a gap. Like everyone is so wanting to make money, wanting to have status, wanting to have influence, but they don't want the responsibility of leading people. And that feels bad. And so I'm like, how do we make it more practical for people to actually be a leader so that they feel like I think people don't aspire to do things they don't think they're that are possible for them. And if every book you read says, "Oh, you want to be a leader? Be honest. Have integrity." What the [ __ ] does that mean? Like that's so vague and ambiguous. Like, okay, be honest. Well, uh, tell people what to do. Oh, but don't but don't be mean, but don't Oh, be nice, but not too nice. Oh, but it's like I don't How do I see that happening in real life?

40:23And so I think that this book makes it easier. It breaks it down into steps that are simple enough that people are like, I think I could achieve this. And I hope that if more people think they can achieve it, more people will actually want to do it. >> And that's really my goal because I think right now if we look at like so many of the problems in the world, I see it through leadership. I'm like we don't have enough people who are like selflessly leading >> and I think that's the issue. >> Amen.

40:48>> Okay. So, as far as like your press and like your swag gifting, your girl, I'll leave you my address because I want to talk about it on social media. I will be one of your first readers. Do [snorts] you Are you doing a pod? Am I literally pitching myself to Leila right now? I am. Uh I will be one of your first readers. Uh give me a good red the red red pen. I'm an avid reader though, legit. Um so, >> one of the things that you put out on social was how you were really proud because Alex had read it and then you learned how to incorporate stories.

41:15>> Yeah. I want to I want to hear a story of Ila working through something, coming across a roadblock, you learning a skill set and implementing and then taking a lot of pride in that because what we a lot of us hear is like, well, this happened back when, but like this just happened. You're in the process of of writing this book. So, talk to me about the stories. What happened like the the inside? >> Yeah. Uh well, at first, you know, it's like I I asked Alex, you know, because he's been helping me, how do I structure the book? How do we think about this? What would you write first? How do you sequence these things? Right. He's so good at it. So, um, he's like, "Start with the stories, you know, because I want my book to be mostly stories with like the end of each chapter has the very concrete how this is how it goes."

41:51But I think people learn through stories. And so, I'm like, "Well, I I have the how-to part down. I know all the steps and I can explain those very well." But I was like, "Okay, the stories." And so, like, I wrote the first round of stories for myself, and each story was like maybe a page, a page and a half. And then I was like, "Okay." And I'm like trying to piece it together with all the other pieces of the book. and me and Alex are reading it together and then I read it. I'm like, "These are bad." And he was like, "You know, each day they get a little better." And I was like, "Thanks for being sweet. Um, they're not that good." And then I was like, "Okay."

42:23>> But what do you think about it? Like when you say they're bad, like what when you Is it like knowing? >> Uh, I Well, yes, knowing. I mean, I I think that the skill gap is like you can know what good looks like and not know how to do it. >> I can know what good ice skating looks like. Doesn't mean I can [ __ ] ice skate. Yeah. >> You know what I'm saying? But I can see a bad ice skater. So, >> so you're looking at your stories and you know that they're not good. >> Yeah. So then I went back to his book and I started reading his story. He has you has two intro stories. I think I always was like, "God, I just want more of these in your book. They're so captivating." And so I read them and I was like, "Oh, there's like a few things that I noticed." These are the biggest things for me, which is like one, and I learned this from Shai. It's a cold open. It's just like you go straight into

42:59>> You have to tell the audience who Shai is. >> Oh. Oh. Shai. Shai is our director of brand acquisition. Um, and I told him, I was like, "I realize I have to go like straight into a scene. It's not like one day I was walking along." It's like, "No, [ __ ] She said, "Fuck you. We're here in the office. I'm quitting." And then you're like, "Whoa, what's going on? I'm curious." So, I was like, "Oh, it's a hook." So, I realized that. Second thing I realized is that I didn't use enough descriptive language. So, I was very I'm so used to being direct and like getting to the point. The reader wants to feel it, smell the room, like see how it's going, and then they want to know the internal journey. How was I feeling through the whole thing? So, I'm telling the external journey. I'm not adding enough description. And then I'm not telling the internal journey. So then I was like, "Okay, I need to add in the internal journey. I need to add stakes." Like sometimes I because when I tell stories to people, I always minimize the stakes because I don't want to make people feel bad for me.

43:52>> In stories, you kind of have to let them know how [ __ ] shitty it is and how many stakes there are. So I was like, "Okay, >> we want to empathize with the protagonist." >> Yeah. >> Uh yes. Well, that means [laughter] >> I told you I'm a book nerd. I don't like it wasn't lying. >> So then I I rewrote one day. I rewrote like three of the stories and I just went ham all day and I sent them some to Alex and he's like, "These are so [ __ ] good." And I was like, "Oh my god." And I was like, "What's so good about them?" He's like, "They are so much more descriptive, captivating." I didn't want to stop reading them. And I was like,

44:19>> "Oh, thank God." Um, >> so where were you writing these stories? Were you at home? Were you >> I was at home. I just on the couch with my laptop. >> Okay. >> Yeah. It's nice. And >> And so it's just one day you're like, I'm going to focus on making these better. [snorts] >> Yeah. Oh, no. It was a lot more than one day, but like that was one day that I did that. Um, and then I realized I was like, "This is a skill and you're just not that good at it. So, you just have to work harder at it." And it's been a super frustrating process because I do so much of my work in a setting where the way I communicate so different, like it's so to the point, direct, etc. It's like when people would see me on camera and they're like, probably still do. Uh, and they're like, "She's so like robotic." And it's like, yeah, well, when I'm communicating to a giant company, it's not like I'm like emoting all the time. I'm trying to give directions, give clarity. That's all I'm focused on. like how do I give them clarity? And so I'm not thinking how do I sound. I'm thinking how do they get a clear message from what I'm saying so that they can move fast and they know what to do. Um and with writing it's the complete opposite. And so it's been but it's been fun to learn and I think it's actually been fun to write the stories because there's so many things I was like [ __ ] I forgot about that. Or like oh yeah that happened that was terrible.

45:24I'm like I have so many stories and so many things that have happened that it's like that are crazy you know and I I write them down. And I'm like, man, that's cool. And I'm glad that I'm doing it now because I'm like, I'm going to forget these at some point. >> Right. Okay. So, um, you said that it would been great to have Alex speak into the writing journey because he's experienced with it. Talk to me about like going alongside your husband and co-founder to do this massive book launch. What do you think, feel, do?

45:51What do you like continuing on for your book launch? What do you want to do with the book launch? Do you want it to be the same, different? Like I want an insight into how are you seeing marketing of the book? because he spent so long thinking about just the marketing of the book itself. >> Yeah, I haven't thought about it at all. Um [laughter] uh I have so many people on the team that I I know will have such great ideas including him. But um [laughter] it's not it's you know it's it's just the marketing is not my passion. Like I love leadership that's all like I I

46:19>> do you want to launch it the same way? Like are you going to do like okay >> um I have one of two things. either I will launch it and it will I I would like to make a course with it that is very practical like if you're a business owner you can go through this course like the course will like almost like certify you in leadership not paid just like a free course like I I want to do that sounds like it'll pair well with the book and so I might just launch it and say like this is the course I'm going to have I put it together it has a workbook worksheets all that kind of stuff I can all get it for free I'm not going to charge for information um that's one way um and how I would market it and stuff I I'm sure the team and I would figure that out. The other way is um you know we have different business units that we're expanding in acquisition.com and there's one that's you know possibly aligned with the book.

47:08So I would possibly use the book to you know publicize the expansion >> but that's if it all lines up with timing which is tough. >> Okay. Okay. And so the person ends the book they finish reading the book. >> Yeah. >> What do you want them to think know or do at the end of it? like and then you will say I have done what I had set out to do. >> I want them to be able well I would say this it speaks to different levels of people. So I would say there's really like three types of people which is like people who've never led themselves now know how to be a good teammate and lead themselves better in life. Um because I the way I write the book it's not even just with business it's just in general. It could be family, friends, church, whatever. Um the second outcome is that somebody who has a small team now knows how to lead not just a small team well but they are confident they can lead a big team well.

48:02>> And when you say small team how do you classify small >> couple people? >> Okay >> couple like a handful. >> Um and I would say like beyond that somebody can run a big team feels confident that they can they are not just good at running a big team they can develop leaders to lead teams for them. M >> so it's really like a cycle of learning how to lead yourself, learning how to lead others, learning how to lead leaders, and then learning how to create leaders and then beyond that is learning how to create leaders who create a culture that creates leaders.

48:34>> So it's a very you just keep getting one step back. Um and so there's a lot to be it's I built it so it's like any spot you're in it will benefit you. >> That's good. I'm excited. >> That's my hope. So >> I'm excited to read it. I would say that we just have more people that >> build companies that leave people better off, not worse, than when they came in.

48:59It's like I you have no idea how many people's like employees come to me, um employees in general that come to me and they're like, I wish I had a boss like you and I'm like, "What's wrong with your boss?" And they're like, "This is what they said to me yesterday." It's like you have so much power to make people's lives better. And yet we live in this age where I feel like leadership has it it's it was cool like 10 years ago and I don't see a lot of new books about it anymore. Instead it's like how do you make money? How do you build influence? How me me I I what was cool for me in building a business was like how do how do I help others win? Like I don't need the credit. I want to help other people win. And I I just I there's no [ __ ] way that the world wouldn't be better if more people felt that way.

49:40But it feels so hard to do because there's no clear instruction. So, if we just have more people thinking leadership's cool, maybe somebody clicks on it on YouTube, maybe that's the outcome I want. >> So, um, when Alex wrote the book, it [snorts] was it's a series and he always had this vision that like it would culminate in like a hundred million launch and then, you know, it came to fruition. >> When you set out, I want more people to care. I want more leaders. We can potentially be changing families and then families change neighborhoods and neighborhoods change cities and cities change states and states change a nation. Like if that's what I hear, then how are you planning on getting it out there? Like what is what is like I want to know now what what do you want to do?

50:20Like he wanted to do X. What do you want to do with it? >> I haven't focused on it yet. I'm just being honest. Like I've only focused on writing the book cuz >> when do you think it'll be out? [snorts] >> Um Q1 of 2027. >> Oh, okay. Good. >> So, a year from now. Less than a year from now. >> Are you going to self-publish? >> Most likely. I don't like any of the publishing deals that have >> What? What are they going to do? >> They're going to depend on you. They're going to ask you to do what you would do anyway, but then they're going to want to stick in it because they printed it and

50:50>> Yes. >> Yes. >> We yeah. So, yeah. I'm I'm not worried about the marketing plan. Like, we'll figure that out. Even with the book launch stuff, like I know it looks like the thinking it through and the thinking of like how we want it to all come together in this very like perfect combination is was the hard part. The execution was not that hard. And the reason that was the hardest cuz like Alex had this plan of how he wanted all these different elements to tie together, which is what made it like a very complicated thing to do.

51:18And so, you know, we were talking about like for my book, we don't have any of that really. We haven't set out to do this like it's a one piece thing. There's not all these other promises that he made in the other books or things he foreshadowed or like he had this whole system, right? Um I don't have that. So, I I Yeah, I don't know. Well, I'm excited. >> I also probably just don't want to. >> It's not somewhere I spend a lot of time thinking about. I feel like our We have so many people on the team that are so good. I'll be I'll go to them be like, "What do you guys think I should do?"

51:46[laughter] >> I'm excited. I'm just excited to see how it gets out into the world. Um, okay. So, I have about 10 minutes with you and I think it'd be remiss. So, I had put it out on social media and I had sent a newsletter and I will say, "Girl, your name is like clickbait." Like, you put your name somewhere and everyone's like, "I want to know. I want to know." So, I would be ask 10 minutes flash questions of what you're most likely the human being today who's like literally so different. Like I hear it and I feel it and I'm millions of miles removed from you and so I just love this version of you. So I just want more of that. So we'll get into um questions because if I ask and people delivered then I'm going to speak on the course.

52:28Okay, good. So, we're going to do uh Leila's greatest hits flashfire edition. Number one, how do you build a culture where employees can still tell you things you don't want to hear? >> Reward them when they tell you things that you don't want to hear. >> Give me an example. >> So, if somebody comes to you and they say, "Hey, um I wanted to tell you that I got another job offer and I'm actually considering it." First reaction from a lot of people is like, "Well, then you can [ __ ] take it." You know, something like, "I'm going to get back to you. I'm going to make you feel bad."

52:57versus like, "Thanks for telling me." Like, "Can you tell me what would incentivize you to take that offer versus stay here? Like, can you walk me through the decision? Tell me what is there something you're not satisfied with here? And thanks for telling me. Like, I really appreciate that you feel comfortable enough with me to even bring that to me." >> That's so good. >> It's like we punish people so often for bringing us stuff because we don't want to hear it because we want to pretend it does not exist. It exists. That stuff happens all the time.

53:22And so it's like thank them for giving you the bad news because it means that they've now brought it to you early enough that you can do something about it. So anytime someone brings anything out to me, the first thing you'll hear out of my mouth is, "Thank you so much for telling me." >> Easiest thing in the world. >> Okay. Uh how do I know if I have a bad boss? >> I would say that the measurement of a boss is the team. So if there's a bad team, probably a bad boss. Unless that boss didn't build the team and they just came in and the team is now degrading.

53:54But if you look at like how do I measure leaders in my team? I look at the teams below them and I say how great are these teams? Do they have a great culture? Do they help each other? They uphold our values? Do they get results? If those things don't exist, that then that's not a good leader. If somebody's creating all those things, then they're a great leader. The question is, how do you measure a great leader? If you only measure them by results, but now not by how they get the results, then you could say that a lot of people that would probably be considered bad leaders are good leaders because a lot of people can get results,

54:25>> but they do a lot of shitty stuff to get those results. They don't treat people well. They don't uphold the values. They shortcut, they cut people, you know, they're like um undercutting people. Like there's a lot of that behavior. So, it's like it's not just about the output, it's about the inputs to get the result. And I think you have to measure them on both. But if they can, if they have both of those things, then by all means, I would say that they're a good leader. >> Oh, that's so good. Okay. How do I know if I have a good boss? Would you just take the inverse of it? >> Yeah.

54:49>> Okay. Uh, what should I do if I'm smarter than my boss? >> Well, that's a tough one because I would say one, you have to have a level awareness to know, are you actually smarter than them or do you just think you are? Because a lot of people are there. I mean, I can't tell you how many times someone comes to me, they're like, they tell me something. They're like, well, this over here's what's happening. and I think maybe we should do this. And I'm like, [snorts] yes, if I only had your perspective, I would think that, too.

55:16>> The issue is that sometimes you don't have the same perspective as your boss. They have a wider perspective than you. So, it's not about who's smarter. It's a question of do they have more perspective that you don't. Do they have information you don't have? Is that possible? And so, I've seen people who think they're smarter than their boss, but once they have the same information as their boss, they come to the same conclusion. Um, and oftentimes people who think that they're smarter than their boss, I'd say one of two camps, which is like, uh, a lot of times when people are smarter than their boss, they do something about it. Um, and the other time is they are actually not smarter and they're just arrogant.

55:50>> Um, and it's a matter of like asking yourself, do they have more perspective than me? And if they do, then maybe I should try and learn. >> Okay, but walk me off this. Like this is now this is off the script real quick. >> Yeah. I try to hire people who are smarter than me. Yeah. >> So like I openly say like yes, you are smarter than me. Like this is an issue. >> Well, okay. Do you mean smarter than you like IQ? Like they are a smarter person than you? >> I don't know. I was just the question, but I'm like

56:18>> or do you mean like smarter in their area of expertise? Like very that's a very good >> I took it as they think that they are smarter like they have a higher IQ. They could outwork or outwit their boss. >> Okay. I took it the same way. But then all of a sudden I hear you talk and I was like, "Oh snap." Like I hired people who were smarter than me all the time. >> Right. Right. Right. [laughter] Yeah. Well, and that's why I say is like it's about perspective, which is like

56:43>> if you were smarter than your boss, then you also might be thinking, do I lack perspective that they have? And so there's just some things that are wrong with the question. >> Okay. No. Well, it was nuanced and thank you. I think we kind of did the 360. Uh, should I quit a job with a bad boss or how would I deal with it? I mean, I think you have to ask yourself the question, which is like, do I respect myself if I remain in this job? And if you don't respect yourself in the place that you're working and like every day you kind of like chip away at your self-respect because you have to work for that person, there's nothing no pay that's worth subjecting yourself to that. If you feel like you become a worse person and you feel worse about yourself working for them. So, I would say that is how I think through most decisions if I should like stay or leave something.

57:28>> Uh, okay. So, you kind of mentioned this like I think it was in one of your stories. Should you ever or have you ever been yelled at as a boss? >> Oh, have I been yelled at? >> Yeah. >> By like an employee? >> Or and then this person said like, should you should you ever yell at your boss? And then part two would be, have you ever been yelled at? >> I don't think you should yell at people in general. >> Yeah. Exactly. [laughter] >> Like I can't even think of a time I've ever yelled at Alex. Maybe like maybe in the very beginning like our first fire sign. I raised my voice but like I'm not like a yelling person. So it's interesting. Um I do not think you should yell at your boss. I don't think your boss should yell at you. Um have I ever been yelled at? Yes.

58:05In my first few jobs, you know, I worked at Subway. I worked at like this crappy ass water park. I worked at a restaurant where guys screamed at me cuz I broke a plate. Like I mean 100%. I worked in this uh culinary kitchen where I remember I made all these cookies and basically she screamed at me because I made them wrong even though her recipe sucked. Like there have been so many instances where I was yelled at and that was part of what inspired me to even write the book is like I've had terrible bosses and it made my life so shitty and it was so unnecessary. It's like they if they had just been a little nice I would have had such a better life.

58:38>> But it's like I dreaded eight hours a day. >> So you're you should write the dedication of your book to all your bad bosses. No, I'm just kidding. [laughter] >> That's a good one. What should I do if I work for a narcissist? >> I hate that word. What does that even mean? >> Oh, yeah. >> How many people throw that word around? It's >> all the time. >> Like, it's a narcissist. I'm like, okay, it's not about if I work for a narcissist. It's do I lose respect for myself in this job. It's about you. It's not about the person. So, like you either leave the situation or you stay in the situation.

59:11Which one will I would say like in which scenario do you have more respect and confidence? That's that's the only frame I use. I do not label people because we do not know and we all have different we have different interpretations of labels. So it's like uh you know >> so good. So good. Okay. And uh what did you do? What do you do when your co-orker is incompetent but everybody loves them? Oh, a good personality hire. >> Yeah. It's funny. My first version of the book, I had like just lessons and it was like likeness blinds you from competence.

59:42Um or likeness blinds you from incompetence. People that are very likable usually get by by being likable, not by being competent. But you're so it's think about human attention, right? You see how charming and likable they are and you're just paying attention to that. It's a positive thing. We like positive stuff. We want more of it. >> But then you don't notice that they're kind of not even that good at their job. It's very common. Mhm. >> I try really hard when I'm hiring to be like, see past this cuz I actually I hired somebody like 2016 actually to be like our director of media before we even knew what that was. Um it was more marketing and that person was so likable and so incompetent, [laughter] but I didn't see the incompetence because I was blinded by the likeness. Like I just liked them so much. It was like somebody I wanted to hang out, be friends with, so nice, so cool. And then I was like, "Oh, so incompetent."

1:00:30>> It's like you have to be able to um narrow your perspective at times. >> Okay, but let's talk about this practical like practically. I'm interviewing somebody and I just I'm vibing. I like them. What are you actively saying to yourself to separate like do I like them or can I see them for how competent they are? >> I think even when you like somebody, you have to have another interview >> because it's like a lot of times you're just, you know, vibing with somebody. That's when I'm like, I need a second interview to just like ask the questions, the technical ones. And most of the time when I'm interviewing, especially like Cale, I have um what do you want to call? I have like a scorecard for them. It's like, okay, here's the must haves. Here's the weight of each of those things.

1:01:06>> Where do I score them? That helps me a lot because then it's like I'm not using my bias to make the decision. >> At the end of the day, I like competent people. >> That's right. >> More than anything, >> right? >> Like truthfully though, >> so that's super helpful. >> Okay, last three questions are going to be about you and Alex. >> What is your favorite thing about Alex? And would you change anything about him? >> My favorite thing about Alex? There's a lot of things. Um,

1:01:32>> well, you could share them all. >> Yeah. I'm like, it's hard to pick like one thing. Like I I really love like his quirkiness. Like it's probably less on social media, but like he's just so forgetful of like things sometimes. It's funny like our first year dating like and I don't take offense to this. Like he forgot my birthday. He'll forget his birthday. He'll forget his socks. One day he almost walked out of our house [ __ ] naked. He just [laughter] forgot that he wasn't dressed. Like it's so funny because he's just so I'm like I'm never going to label it ADD or ADHD or whatever, but I'm like sometimes [laughter] I'm like a homeboy, where's your shirt? Or like did you like he just forgets, right? We'll go somewhere like oh forgot all my clothes for the trip.

1:02:11I'll forgot this. Like it's just it's funny. Um and he also doesn't care. Like he just oh don't care. Like it is what it is. Which I love. He just lets stuff roll off. So that's probably my favorite thing about him. >> And would you change anything about him? >> No. The only thing that [laughter] I told him I would change is shower more and he does now. So, >> okay. [laughter] Okay. Okay. What do you think Alex's favorite thing is about you and what would he change about you?

1:02:37>> Um, favorite thing about me? >> I would say his favorite thing about me is probably that I don't judge him for anything. >> So, I don't judge him. I don't try to change him. I have never tried to change him um or even suggested a change. I barely express my preferences. I don't even tell him what I like with his like anything. Um because I just want him to be like completely himself. I want him to feel like free because I think the only way to keep a relationship longterm is they should feel just like they have total freedom in the relationship. Um I would say that's probably his favorite thing. And I would say if he could change something about me, uh he'd probably be like she could like give a few less [ __ ] That'd be nice cuz it's like he gives very little [ __ ] I give a lot of [ __ ] and we you know.

1:03:19[laughter] So, >> um, lastly, you've talked about your IVF journey. What is one of the things you look forward to raising a child with Alex? >> Everything. >> Mhm. >> I think I mean, honestly, I think more of the reason of me wanting to have a kid is because I want one with him. It's not about like just wanting a kid in general. It's like I would like a child with him. the experience of doing that together. It's like something like especially it's it sounds weird but like in the business the business is so big now we don't even work on like all all the same projects anymore and it's like I love working together as a team and I think that we would do it really well and I think that you know just the thought of like taking a little kid to the park you know having a holiday together taking him my family's house like that all sounds like awesome so I would say all of it

1:04:12>> team Hormosi I love it thank you so much you came in and you said, "You can ask me anything." And I felt complete ease to do that. Thank you for letting people in and seeing all of it and adding more color to stories we might have heard before, but from an entirely different perspective. I can't wait for your book to drop. I can't wait for more people to see you. I can't wait to become a better leader selfishly. Thank you so much for doing this. I appreciate you. You have been like a 12 out of 10. You're incredible. Thank you. Thank you, Lea.

1:04:38It was really you. It >> was awesome. I want to say thank you you for watching and listening to the Jasmine Star …